One Giant Leap....

Can you tell me where my country lies?,
Said the uniform to his true love's eyes
It lies with me, cried the Queen of Maybe
For her merchandise, he traded in his prize
-Genesis

27 de Enero 14:07

Well, Maria and I ventured into the dark seedy underbelly of central Getafe last night. It actually was neither dark nor seedy, but we had fun, como siempre (like always). We spoke in Spanish a great deal, or sometimes she speaks English and I speak Spanish. Anyhoo, i am getting better.

We got to one club at like 1:00 and it was empty. By the time we left at 4:00 it was packed. Spain is truly nuts that way. It´s a rare day we get home at 4:30 .


Back in the USSA
Two weeks between the Conference Championships and the Super Bowl is idiotic. I don´t even have to listen to all the talking heads and i am annoyed.

Here´s another reason to bet on the Giants, despite all logic. The JKS Factor. In the 1986 Season, James Kevin Sheridan went to the regular season game between the Giants and the Denver Broncos. It wound up being a Super Bowl preview, with the Giants going on to dismantle Elway and the Broncos (ah... the good old days).

James Kevin Sheridan was at the Giants - Patriots season finale, a Super Bowl preview. The conclusion can only mean a Giant victory. That and a huge payoff to officials from the ´72 Dolphins to keep them the only undefeated game.

While the Pats going 19-0 would be great for the NFL (and this league gets its panties in a damp wad about storylines {see Jerome Betis playing Super Bowl in hometown of Detroit in 2005 season}), two brothers quarterbacking teams to a Super Bowl win in back to back seasons would be virtually impossible to repeat. It´s always feasible another team could go undefeated. So the fix is in: bet everything you own, children included, on the Giants. That´s what i´m doing!!!!!

ARCHIVES

Sabado 26 de Enero - Okay. Maybe I will be able to post this from home. Finalmente!!!!!

Had Kristen over for dinner last night. I made tortellini in ajo olia sauce. For appetizers; a brie and goatcheese mixture, some pepperoni-like sausage and roasted peppers on french bread with ajo olia de Extremadura! Yum. Nikos ate with us too. We never left the kitchen, like in America. It was great.

Archives:

Sports Day, 20 de Enero 19:05 – 5:05, 21 de Enero

It's just a game

don't let yourself slip away

-Triumph

It was a rare sports trifecta with three very meaningful games: Atletico Madrid vs. Real Madrid, then Pats – Chargers , then the marquee event; Giants – Packers. The Madrid Derby was torture: Real scored just 1:30 into the contest with Raul knocking in an easy shot. Then Atleti had about six good chances, two hitting the post. At the end of the half Real scored quickly again and it was over.

I watched the game in a mad little bar in Getafe. Maria didn't feel like watching the game so i went by myself. I found this place Manchueto. La Profesora said later “That place is crazy.” As usual, she was right on the mark.

At first it seemed so cozy and friendly. Everyone knew everyone who walked in the door. When i walked in, they were playing the Atleti anthem. A few of them were wearing the red and white striped jerseys, which was why i walked in. Then an older retarded lady walked in with Real Madrid sweats on. Everybody said hello to her (Her name was Sylvia), a few teased her about her outfit but it was all in good fun. What a nice place, i thought. The first half was fun, even though the game blew. Then things got weird.

They only had Mahou in little pony bottles, so that's what i was drinking. It was the beginning of the second half and a guy walked in with a black wool hat and a little beard that looked like dirt on his chin. He walked to the bar and turned to watch the TV.

The young guy behind the bar, maybe 21 and obviously the son of the owner, calls him by name and immediately asks him what he wants. This is odd because you can be in a place and never be asked what you want. He ordered a coke.

Now some rummy walks in. Every Spanish bar has one, some old drunk who is ignored unilaterally, yet served no matter how shitty he gets. He gets into some shouting match with an Atleti scarf who looks just like David Crosby. David Crosby is calling him “Baracho” and the rummy is arguing with the wind. He finally died down when the rummy found some new folks to ignore him.

Sylvia, the retarded lady, hardly talks, i notice. The only time she utters a sound is when an Atleti player goes down, and then she lets out a shrill baby cry “Wah, wah waaaaaaaaaaah. Ma-ma. Ma-ma. Ma-ma.” At first i didn't know where it was coming from. It somehow permeated the din of this small little bar.

When the guy in the black hat asked for the bill, the kid behind the counter shouts “Una coca cola por Javy Gomez! (one coca cola).” He obviously didn't like the guy and called him out in the middle of the bar. The guy just took his change and left.

I stopped back by Maria's and then took the Renfe train to Madrid. The bus i always used to take doesn't go all the way to Atoche any more -requiring 2 buses. So i guess I'll be training from now on.

I got to Dubliners in Sol around 22:30. I saw a friend, Scott there. He was with a few folks and it was fun to watch the game with someone. He used to work at the J and J Bar where all the guiris go.

There was this guy in an Atleti shirt. I thought he was part of Scott's crew but no. He was obnoxious, his English sucked and he wouldn't stop talking to me.

He kept saying, “Let's go talk to those girls. Let's go talk to those girls. He only wanted me to go because i could speak English. Dubliners is a guri meat market and there are lots of hot girls. But they are sooooo young. He tries to chat up some girls and they of course treat him like he's a gravedigger straight from the job. When he he's leaving he grabs they're ass. Then he points to me! Luckily the girls realized i'd have to be elastic man to grab their asses from 10 meters away. The guy was a real bozo.

There was a bozo from Queens there who kept talking to us throughout the Giant game. At first we talked because he knew Scott and had a Mets jersey on. But then he just talked to hear himself.

“I like this game. I like this game.” He said it 220 times. It was ridiculous. When he was busy yelling at the screen I turned to Scott and said, “I moved away from NY to get away from morons like this.”

“Absolutely,” he said. He's from Philly, so he knows.

Scott knew the owner. When the game went into overtime he came up to us and said “ When the fuck does this thing end?” They usually close at 4 but stayed open to the end of the game, although they shut things down within minutes of the game ending. I finished my Guiness and caught a cab home.

Football games last 1:45 from start to finish, 2 hours tops. The Spanish are horrified to learn that an American Football game lasts 3 hours or more. La Profesora almost shat herself before the Seahawk game. “Three hours! Fucking bullocks!” She's such a lady.

I guess I'll go back for the Superbowl. I'll cancel my early class. And then i won't be back in Dubliners until next football season.

So that was my Domingo loco. Why oh why am I such a freak magnet? Comes in handy for the blog though.

22 de Enero 0:59

I cleaned my room today. No vacuum – just the old broom. Dusted too. Dust builds quickly here. Its still 50 degrees out!

22 de Enero 10:35

Odds and Ends

Our brand new dish washer broke after one use. It is under warranty, but still. Talk about lame manufacturing.

It's strange how you buy beer here individually in the supermarket.

It's also weird how they change the start times of football games just three days before it starts.

Are the Giants really in the Super Bowl or was that just a crazy dream some of us had?

Great weather again – high 50's. Unbroken sunshine.

Vale. Time to do more cleaning, then shower and get to class for 14:00. But i have to leave by 12:20 because i have to take metro all the way east and south and then take the light rail.

If you want to learn more about Spain for some bizarre reason:

Winter in Madrid forget the authors name. Something like Sanson: About the Civil War.

Ghosts of Spain Giles Tremlett. Explores history and paradoxes of Spain.

23 de Enero 9:50

My disk drive is 40 weeks pregnant and ready to let this next blog loose before it's so enormous no one will ever read it.

24 de Enero 0:52

Here again. My mind is awash with memories of childhood and the craziest stuff. It's like the memory floodgate opened. I have a lot of time to think as I travel mass transit all day long. The process of this memory river wasn't exactly bad. The only trigger I can place is that I have been heavily mapping out the new novel, and this creative process sometimes taps into memories – parts of my brain that i suppose only get summoned at certain times (searching for file....).

Otherwise all is well. Atleti lost 1-0 to Valencia in the first leg of the Copa del Rey, largely because of a questionable tarjeta rojo to Moto early in the first half. Valencia scored soon after and never relented. They also dove like crazy while take some egregious fouls on Atleti. It looked like good old fashioned home field calls for Valencia. We'll see what happens on the return leg here at Vincente Calderon.

It's like spring here. It never got below 40F last night. And the days are bright, sunny and warm. Hope you in North America (99.69% of readership) are also enjoying some warmer temperatures. From the info Mum gives me, seems like the Northeast has had a rough winter with both snow and cold. My last day in CT in January it was -4! That's when your nuts become snowballs.

Full moon last night. Still freaks me out that it's the same moon you guys saw last night. Okay, my cama (bed) is whispering sweet nothings in my ear. Time to go sex her up. I'll post this blog someday.

Well I've walked these streets

in a carnival

of sights to see

all the cheap thrill seekers

vendors and the dealers

they crowd in

around me

-Natalie Merchant

Billy Joel Syndrome

Well, the past fews days have helped me break out of my Billy Joel Syndrome. I was concerned the blog was becoming stale. I was concerned it might be suffering from a healthy dose of contentness. The worst years of Billy Joel's career were when he was happy and content with then mega-babe Christie Brinkley, who has been married as many times as all of the Moonies put together. Uptown Girl! Are you kidding me? More creative things have come out of Frippy's ass ( i did clean his box for years). Billy did his best tunes when his life was a shambles. I think it's a difficult question for anyone who does any type of art to ask themselves – can you create really beautiful art in bliss? I sure as fuck hope so – but i'm not really sure. Conflict seems to breed heroism and romanticism.

Here's a random note that's remotely on topic. The Seester once told me that when she first heard Angry Young Man she thought it was written about me! Yeesh! That kinds sucks I was ever perceived that way. But i feel much more peaceful now. Besides, I don't have a front car seat under which to put my tire iron. You can take the boy out of New York....

To taste my bitter triumph

a mad immortal man

-Rush

Virus!!!!!!!

fucking hell
-El dude


Tried to upload the new mammoth blog entry but Maria´s computer says my jump drive has a virus (Veee-rus aas the Spanish say). So we´ll have to wait for that. But i am alive for all of you wondering. May have picked up the virus at the local locutorio. Who knows?

Meanwhile, the meds my mother sent sit hopelessly in customs since early monday morning. Five days later and no one has contacted me, and even with Maria´s help, we can´t even get a phone number to call and tell them i need for Monday! I have contacted the local post, Correos, and no one can help. Give silent thanks for the crazy but efficient United States.

Not to mention, this same package has now made 3 trips across the Atlantic. Mom first tried to send through United Parcel. They accepted it in the US when they did not have permission to deliver in Spain. Loco!!!! And I called them before they ever contacted me! You need to use the local post office through the US postal service and Correos here. Instead of just sending to Correos, they insisted it go back to America!

And now it sits in Barajas airport 15 km away, and i have no way to get it until they decide, of their own benevolence, to call me.

The true virus here is laziness. That and no one gives a shit. Incredible but true. The last time Mel sent a package overnight, it was caught in customs for 7 weeks!!!!!!

And me- i just go with the flow. There´s no other options anyway. Buen fin de semana!!!!!

Someday i will kill you all
-El Dude

Late Night with el Dude

Well, the crazy Giants game last night. It included the Madrid derby (Real Madrid beat Atleti 2-0), Patriot game, and then the NY -GB game! But it ended at 4:30 am Oi! The Superbowl is going to be a bitch. But it was worth every moment of lost sleep. I cancelled my 8 am classs and did not work til 1;30pm, which was sweet. The football gods watched over me as two other classes were cancelled but i get paid!!!!!

below is some stuff i wrote but could not post til now when i found my jump drive!!!

Why should i care
why should i care?
-The Who

2:26 am 14 de Enero

Just got back from having the Giants redeem the football weekend. I don't know how they did it, especially with Coughlin's play calling conservative enough to make the Catholic church look like a bunch of gang bangers, but they did.

They may get dismantled next week, but so be it. Playing with house money dawg! Let it all ride on the green 00.

0:32 16 de Enero

Not having the Internet is a bitch. Time goes and incidents occur. How do I know it really happens if i don't blog it? It's the modern dilemma – i think therefore i get spam.

Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?

I think not.

Otherwise, life rolls on. I picked up two hours and lost two. I step forward, one step back. La Profesora is well. It's cold and damp – only like freezing at night, but the humidity makes it feel colder. The Madrilenos act like its a new ice age.

I cleaned the Spare Oom and it is now suitable for human beings to hang out in. This way there's a late night room, as i've had people here late 2x and woke Nikos up 2x – his bedroom wall is against the salon. This front room has my room as a buffer. I am also in the midst of a laundry siege – machines here have enough room to fit three grapefruits – that's it. So with my backup from the holidays, never be home to wash clothes (it takes two hours to wash – how do we do it in 45 minutes in the US – are we that more savvy? I just don't know. Then you need to hang dry it indoors. It takes some planning.

It's not that funny, is it?
This happened, word for word – syllable for syllable.

One of my students works for AIG here in Madrid. He is in marketing. He showed me a new watch and said, “From my company, for Navidades. All of the mens get one.”

“Nice. What did the women get?

“A nigger.”

“Pardona?”

“A nigger.” And here he made the universal fucky – fucky motion (as defined by the Geneva Convention) with his elbows and hips. “To fuck!” Here he started laughing.

While jarring, i took that it was a joke, meaning that the black guy would have a big dick and the ladies would be appreciative.

Of course, this would not fly in America. At least not in corporate America or the Northeast.

He laughed and laughed. It also begged the question – do Spanish guys have little schlongs Could this be why a big dick is considered the ideal Xmas present for a professional women?

I asked Maria about it, if in her opinion this guy was a crazy racist or if this was just culturally normal. She said it was quite normal and that it was mild as to what i may hear.

-

Another race note, when we were watching the parade for the celebration of the three kings, the black guy was a white guy painted black.

“I never understand this,” Maria said. “Why not just get a black man?”

One possible answer: When I was watching the Seahawks beat the Redskins, I met an Australian guy who loved American football. He told me that he saw kids in a line waiting to sit on the lap of the two white kings while no one was on the lap of the black king – a true black man.

Now I understand how Spanish fans threw bananas at opposing black players during 2006 world cup qualifying. Loco to say the least.

Un mundo sin tetas no hay paradise

(A world without tits can never be paradise)

This was the actual name of a TV program on Sunday. Maria and I never got to watch as just the title alone was enough to spur us on to other things.

Rascar mi culo

My Spanish has taken a small leap this week with me suddenly understanding more than ever. I now know how to say “Scratch my ass” (rascar mi culo) which makes me prouder than i can say.

All i ever wanted
was to know that you were dreaming...
Sarah

-Fleetwood Mac

Atleti plays tomorrow in the 2^nd leg of the Copa del Rey vs. Valloladid (I was at the 1st leg last Thurs.). As long as they score at least one goal, even a draw will get them through to the next round (away goal rule).

1:33

Laundry is hung in the Spare Oom. I go to bed. Buenas Noches mis amigos!

The time i like is the rush hour
cause i like the rush
the pushing of the people
I love it oh so much!

-Peter Gabriel

11:46, 16 DE ENERO

Atleti advanced and Real Madrid got knocked out by lowly Mallorca in the Copa del Rey! Next up for Atletico; Valencia. Ay Carumba!!!

The children in my class were fucking bonkers today. Too much azucar (sugar) perhaps. The end of class erupted into a coach pillow fight, which despite my best attempts, i got sucked into. They got to live out a lifelong dream of their fledgling lives by hitting a teacher. But i kicked their asses :)

Place your bets

The last time the Giants won the Super Bowl, I was living abroad. I don't think this has had a factor on the point spread in Vegas, but we'll see. I'll be back at Dubliners, with my Mets hat on, kicking ass.

9:40 17 de Enero

Pirated Internet seems to be a thing of the past. But to get DSL I'm going to have to use Maria's name. I can't get it without an EU ID card because I am illegal - living on the edge. I will try and post this when the locotorios open at 11am, if they actually open on time. Then its off to class! Then take the Metro del Sur to Getafe to see la Profesora and cook her my Alcochofas No te Crees (Artichokes you won't believe). All else is groovy. Hug your children for me – i miss them already! And maybe I miss you too. Maybe. I'm not making any promises.

Drowning
In the sea of love
Where everyone
would love to drown

-Fleetwood Mac

Another day with me....

What a time this is
Everything changing
Faster than the eye can blink
Faster than we can stop and think
What will the future hold?
Well whatever..

-Marillion

Here we are again. Same as it ever was. Don´t have much new to say, but i do have Internet access, so why not take a stab?

Tomorrow at 7pm is the Madrid Derby: Real Madrid vs. Atletico Madrid. It´s a home game for Atleti but they jack the cheap tickets up to 80 E. I understand supply and demand, but they can still morde mi culo (bite my ass). Isn´t learning Spanish fun???

On that note my Spanish took a little step last week and even Maria says it is getting much better. It just took some effort on my part. Now i must continue and talk in Español as much as possible. I find learning language, you plateau for a bit and then suddenly make a leap, like last week. The plateaus suck, the leaps rock. If I keep applying myself, i should be halfway decent by July. Then i won´t understand a damn thing any of you are saying in August! Oh well. It will be like charades.

I won’t ask you to sign
On some cold dotted line
But if you can love me tonight
I,ll remember the light
Only the light

-Marillion

Alive!

I am alive! getting the Internet is a bitch these days at La Villa Strangiato (my flat). I have a bunch of stuff written, harrowing tales of drunkeness and cruelty, of princesses and right wing amphibians; but alack, it is on my jump drive which i cleverly left in Madrid (i am in Getafe).

Spanish Exile Booklist:
A Widow for One Year - John Irving * Maybe the best book of fiction written about human sexuality ever.

The Rising Tide - Jeff Shaara * Gripping acount of WWII in Africa and Italy. Absolutly incredible. Makes Ike look like a genius. What is astounding is all of the infighting amongst the Allies.

Deportivos (Sports)

Atletico continues to kick ass, la Profesora is magnifico, work is fine and all is well. Hope you are too!

Go Giants! I saw the game last week, my heart swelling with patriotic pride for NJ, the motherland. That started at 10:30 on Sunday, which was a bitch. But this weeks game is at 12:30am and i have a class at 8am. Will i make it? Will i have to cut a guy from Wisconsin?- tune in and see!

Laying on the Line
The last time the Giants won the Superbowl (after 1990 Season), i was living abroad. Not sure if this has affected Vegas, but i thought i´d just wing it out there. This will be Colin Tietjen´s first NFC Championship of his tender little life. Enjoy boy!

It was just one of those days
When the mind strays
One of those days
When everyone plays
One of those days
When everyone stays
And all of the dreaming goes on
-Marillion

Requiem for a fat man....

i get up
i get down
-yes


Ooch! The Pack showed they could take the Seahawks best punch, and then demolished them! What an old school ass-thumping.

Good bye fat man, as I believe Holmgren will, and should retire. Cut Alexander too. Let someone else pay him. It was fun while it lasted, Homegrown. Thanks for turning the Hawks into a winner. You´re not the genius you think you are, but the Hawks became a better team under you.

The Packers looked great. I think they will beat whoever wins tomorrow. Adios American football for one more year. It´s only Spanish football from here on in.

I feel the earth move under my feet
I feel the sky come tumbling, tumbling down
-Carole King

FLASHBACK: 9 de Enero

I woke up at 3:00 this morning and never got back to sleep. I took an hour nap between classes, but have been chugging on three hours sleep. Jet lag she is a bitch. I was doubter but now i believe. Maria is dumbfounded as to how all i could do was sleep all weekend an now i am an insomniac. As am i.

But i am now burnt out on the no sleeping thing, although i know i'll get by. I had just forgotten how trippy and bizarre the whole scene was.

I saw Hillary won NH after showing some emotion. Let's please show some emotion instead of looking like robots!

Shrubby looks like a yam that's been up a bear's ass for 16 months. A GAY bear! Take that bible humping America!

It was like 53 F yesterday, just lovely. I tell Spanish people how it was -4 in CT the day i left (-20 C) and they scream “Joder!” and stare at me like it must have been Armagedon.

Tomorrow i am going to see Atletico play Valloladid in the 1^st leg of the round of 16 for the King's Cup (Copa del Rey). Should be a blast.

I am listening to an old Cream bootleg that is just ferocious – a throat grabbing version of “stepping out.”

Vale (Okay). I go to sleep. Finalmente!

10:29 - 10 De Enero

Got some sleep. Only about 5 hours, but i'll take it!

14:55 – 11 de Enero

Diedo Forlan had 5 good chances- but couldn't get the ball in the net. The match ended 0 – 0, with the the second and final leg in Valloladid. I had a great seat in the lower center.

Then I went to the Mural bar and saw JJ and a bunch of people to say “Feliz ano nuevo!”

And i got to bed at 7am and just got up now! Oi! Such is Spain. Such is jet lag week. And so on and so forth.

- I found my students at Banco Santander, so that is all sorted! This is good. And I picked up some extra classes on monday night from 6-8. Oh yeah!

Into the flames

11:00 8 de Enero

Wait a minute baby
stay with me a while
you said you'd give me light
but you never told me about the fire
-Fleetwood Mac

No one ever tells you about the fire, Stevie. But there always is one. Oh yes. Always.

We don't know how. We're not sure when, but at some point in the future, something bad is going to happen.
-Homeland Security (almost every statement)

Listening to

Beatles – White Album
Soundgarden – Superunknown
Steely dan – Gaucho
Jane's Addiction – Nothing's shocking
Talking Heads – Sand in the Vaseline
Marillion – Marbles
Yes – Yes Songs
Pink Floyd – Live in Oakland '77 (Animals)
White Stripes – Elephant
Joni Mitchell – Court and Spark

Great to be back – great to see La Profesora. In a feat aided by illness, jet lag and amorous shannanigans, I entered bed at 2:15am on Friday and did not extract myself until 8:15pm on Saturday. Maria lived a whole day in between. It should also be noted i had a three hour nap on friday afternoon too, though i did not really sleep at all on the flight. It was a world record. Mamota (groundhog) power!

Maria's great. Wonderful. Terrific. Etc, etc, etc.

Burning down the house!
-Talking Heads

I am back to teaching. I still like it. Que Bueno! I had three weeks off. Crapapalooza! That's a long time. Spoiled, i am.

My house is 70 degrees with the heat off and Maria's is 50. A tale of two flats

22:19

I survived!!! The first day back is always loco. No one showed up for my late classes, but i still get paid, so i studied Spanish. I just hope there isn't a problem. Alex said not to worry, but he's a moron.

And when I tried to get off the light rail, the door wouldn't open and it brought me all the way to the next stop. Then I had to go back. Typical first-day-back stuff. Not even the new box of plastic wrap i bought worked – it was all tangled round one end. And i am cleaning and doing laundry because I have been home about 4 days in the last month. Ay carumba!!!

I am studying Spanish because I realized just how shitty my Spanish was when I was invited to Maria's family last minute on Sunday for dinner (the feast of the three kings). When people speak slow i have a chance, but when they speak normal speed i am am jodido. Anyway, met her mom, who still dresses in black after losing her husband a year and a half ago, poor woman. She knew him 50 years and he was all she knew. But Maria said her mom looked happier than she has seen her in a while. I also met her older sister, Gelles (helles), who is my age and really sweet. Later on I met her lame ass boy friend. We had this special cake called roscoe (That's how it sounds, don't know how you spell) and thank god they warned me because my piece had a hard ceramic tile of the virgin in it! Even eating is peligroso (dangerous) here.

The jet lag worked the other way last night and i hardly slept for a half an hour at a time last night, then awoke at 6:30. Damn you physics! Damn you Sir Isaac Newtown.

And what is this nonsense about people being almost out of the race because they didn't do well in the Iowa primary. It's fucking Iowa! A state you forget when you try to name all 50. Where is it exactly? - no one knows! The day Iowa decides the US' fate is the day I move out.... Oh wait, that already happened.

I read the same today about New Hampshire! It said super Tuesday may not matter (20 state primaries on Feb 5^th) after New Hampshire. Does anyone believe this insanity? This stupidity? Cram NH and Iowa together and they can both disappear into the ass end of California or up the nose of NY state.

It's just plain silly.

This is the picture....

(jay in goal while collin shoots)



I see pictures of people, rising up
pictures of people, falling down
I see pictures of people
they're standing on their heads, they're ready
they're looking out, look out!
they're watching out, watch out!
-Peter Gabriel

Much easier to post pics in a seperate entry- don´t miss two new stellar entries below!

What i did on my Xmas vacation

Take a little trip back with Father Tieresias
Listen to the old man speak of all he has been through
For I have crossed between the poles
And for me there's no mystery

Once a man, like the sea I raged
Once a woman, like the earth i gave
but there is in fact more earth than sea
-Genesis

TOUR STATS

1,670 miles by car
9,000 miles by plane

Cities:New York City, Newark NJ, Hasbrouck Heights NJ, New Milford NJ, Ansonia CT, Newtown CT, Wilton Ct, Rockville MD, McLean VA

Events: NJ Devils game, Bridgeport Soundtigers game, concert: the Musical Box

This was the highest grossing El Dude tour ever! Thanks to all. See you in Summer 2008. We will be playing small outdoor stadiums.

Darth never renewed the Toyota's registration and never told me, so i came home to a unregistered vehicle, which you can't re-register without inspection and i was never in VA on a business day this trip, so I was kind of boned up the pooper on that one. Mum also informed me in week 2 that i had a tail light out – delightful! Ford Mercury (the god of road travel) obviously watched over me as i cruised up and down 95. On the 2^nd, Mum and i got the car registered in her name and i got my CT license. Mum went to watch the boys and I ran some errands and got pulled over!!!! Am I a lucky little bitch or what?

It was a young cop who pulled me over 5 blocks from Mum's house.

“Your back tail light's out.”

I almost said yeah I know but instead said “ IT IS?” I gave him the paperwork.

“The car's registered in VA but has CT plates, you can't do that.”

“The CT plate is in the back window.”

“You need to put it on there as soon as you get it.”

“I just got it today and didn't have a screw driver with me at motor vehicles in Norwalk.”

He let me go without a ticket.

Best quotes of the trip:

Laura: That's such a nice gift Connor. What do you say to Grandma?

Connor: (looking around with his Power Rangers space ship in his hand) Mom- where's my missles!

= = =

El Dude: I just wish i had seen you more.

Seester: Yeah, I would have seen you more if you had given me more notice!

= = =

Mum: That's not really Maria pictured on the blog, is it?

El Dude: Who the hell do you think it is, Franco's niece?

= = =

Kevin: I haven't read the blog lately. I figure, why read virtual Jay when I have real Jay?

Truer words were never spoken. I have hired him as my publicist for 2008.

Flashback: 3 de Enero, 11:05 PM EST

I am in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean on Aer Lingus. The light on my seat doesn't work so i can't read, and the flight is sold out. Bummer, I love to read on flights – besides, I can't wait to find out who won World War II! Hijo de Puta! So I watched Mr. Woodcock, which was funny but forgettable. And now, I write.

I am kind of sick, but may be recovering, It seems my body just gave out after new years. Not surprising – tours are demanding business. I'll live. Oh yes, i shall live, and come back to haunt you another day!!!

Riding in the Scree

I've gotten a lot of email asking about my sledding championship (0 -but i know they are coming!) – so here it goes. It was maybe 1 am on New Years. Dave Terry, Kev, Smith and I are all outside. Smith's front lawn goes forever, but its dark as hell. He says we can go sledding with the kids tomorrow. There's no snow on the ground other places in CT that I've been, so i tell him he's smoked too much mistletoe. He dares me to get on a sled. He gives me a muther of a push and off I go, whipping thru the moonless night on the silent wings of freedom. I'm on my back, but have luged before (seriously, in Lake Placid) so i use my legs to guide me. I skid over the ice and snow, fighting to keep my feet facing forward. Then i saw it. Bushes. Then the sled stopped and I kept going, landing safely in the brambles. Luckily i had a heavy sweater and laughed my ass off from the thrill of it all.

Smith followed. But I got much farther than him, winning heat one.

The second heat was to be Kevin and Dave, but Kevin is a risk manager and thought the better of it. He'll outlive us all (but what's the fun in that!)>So it was me and Dave.

Dave went first. 3 minutes later we hadn't heard a thing and it was starless and bible black. So i start down. I riding with the wind when suddenly Dave stands up. It's all I can do to swing right and miss him, and i go well past him, winning heat two – the undisputed champion. I'm sure Mum is so proud reading this!

11:21 PM EST

The OC is playing on the TV. I am listening to my iPod, instead of the sound, but I can only conclude from the images before me that it is the worst show of all time.

Soon I will be home. Back in the USA, Mum's house bears the marks of all my crap being stuffed in every alcove possible. The Toyota sits in mothballs in the Tietjen driveway with CT plates. For all practical purpose, i am a resident of CT, at least in the eyes of the Man. Also, 6 – 8 weeks a year my mother and I are housemates – horrifying to both of us. I am sure! But I sincerely thank her for taking me in.

I can't wait to stretch and take my pants off! I hate planes! I hate pants!

It's 4:29 am, Irish time. Still no light outside the plane. Cold and black as the grave it is.

Ano Nuevo

I called La Profesora on New Years. It was 1 am,.”I'm calling you from the past. Don't be alarmed. Who wins the Super Bowl? What's stocks should i buy? Who wins Euro 2008?”

“I may be in the future, and you may be in the past, but you're still older than me,” she says.

What a drag it is getting old
-The Rolling Stones

She lived like a murder
but she died
just like suicide
-Soundgarden

In truth, I live in Madrid. I am bringing pictures of NYC and DC, as well as Mets and Capitals banners to put on the walls of my flat. For the most part, I have vacated the VA house. DC is a but a memory, as

is marriage and Darth. I fly into the future, into the unknown. Hallelujah! Halle Berry! Halitosis.! Haliburton! This just keeps getting worse and worse. Better quit while I still can. Happy New Year buggers!

Almost cut my hair
happened just the other day
was getting kind of long
I could have said it was in my way

but I didn't
and i wonder why
feel like letting
my freak flag fly...

must be cause i had the flu for Christmas
and i'm not feeling up to par
increases my paranoia
like looking in my mirror and seeing a police car
-Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young

11:57 PM EST

They just brought me orange juice. Can we land yet? Another hour? Fucking bullocks! Turn on a fucking light so i can read and stop boring the balls off of my blogees.

Jane! Stop this crazy thing!!!!
-George Jetson

Victory (sans Sylvester Stallone)!

the only thing we have to fear is fear itself
-FDR (sorry Janet´s mom!, who hates him to this day)

The Seahawks win the pennant! The Seahawks win the pennant!

Watched it at Dubliners with an Australian guy (Maria was quite ill and could not make it). Look out GB. I predict we punk your ass. But it will take a much better effort.

To all my friends who like the Redskins. You are very dear to me but you are our BITCH!

I predict a 1pm start next sunday in GB.

Also, for Season 3, we went to European Union colors. Hope you dig it.

Adios!!!!!

One down one to go
one more town and one more show...
-Yes

Gracias to all of you who fed and housed me: Mum, Pat and Laura, Kevin and Heather, Bryan and Rebecca, Mike and Mima. Thanks for everything. The winter 07 - 08 tour was a rousing success.

Happy New Year to All! Note: I won the new years down hill sledding races at Smith's and shall return to defend my title- I did my Jamaican bobsledding brethren proud!

And now, i must bid you ado and volver a Madrid. Stay tuned for Season 3, starting January 6th on the web near you!