a contact sport

and all the time that' s passed me by
it hardly seems to matter now
-Genesis

It's a new month. August. Hot and steamy.

I am weary of travel and am happy to be in one place for a few days. Pete, from the new band was shocked I quit Summer in Raincoats, but psyched i would be with them full time. So a new era dawns.

And a new blog layout as i gear up for season six of THE SPANISH EXILE.

I am weary of so much travel. And i'd love to know what is up with my ear. It's great to see friends, but i miss home. I miss having my own place and always feel like i'm imposing when i stay in someone else's house, no matter home welcome i know i am.

My home is everywhere and nowhere. I often feel like i don't really have a family anymore. That i am just a drifter. I go from here to there. And i love it. But here in the northeast there's no routine. I sometimes think it would have been easier if i had just died in the Madrid mugging. Sometimes i think "i fought to live for this?"

But it's just normal depression after something so serious. You say, "is this all? Is this really it?" But you keep going. You just have to face the fear and the uncertainty. I don't really wish i had died. I fought with everything in my core to stay alive.

Everything can change in a matter or moments. Life is always reminding us of that.

I will be whole again, with or without my left ear.

I'm just tired. And it's been a hell of a year. But everything is changing. New days are upon me. And i'm never going to be able to go back. Nor should i want to.

Doors shut. Windows open. Life is a contact sport.