To Be Over

Childlike soul dreamer.
One journey, one to seek and see in every light
Do open true pathways away.

Carrying closer,
Go gently, holding doors will open every way
You wander true pathways away.

After all your soul will still surrender.
After all don't doubt your part,
Be ready to be loved.
- Yes

Insanity, profanity and hilarity. That’s how it goes here. That’s how it goes everywhere.

I taught my lesson today on Music. We did instruments and then listened to different music genres. Then they tried to identify the instruments in English. I played The Who ‘the real me’, Pink Floyd ‘have a cigar’, BB King ‘nobody loves me but my mother’, and Miles Davis ‘what I say.” They dug it.

Then I was paying my bills via Internet when I heard the Martian teaching. Sweet Hindu baby Jesus! He was talking with beginners about living rooms (picture an Irish accent). “Chairs. The Sofa. Say so – fa. Fireplace. Yes? Chimney. Chimney” Guess they couldn’t get it. “Chimney. Chimney – the fucking smoke comes out.” Hysterical.

If you think about it; fuck is the most interesting word in the English language:

Fuck – verb
Fucker, you fuck – noun
For fuck’s sake, fucking slow – adjective
Fucking fast – adverb
Fuck off, fuck you – exclamation

Brilliant! Really an incredible word. I’ve learned so much about the English language. Interesting for a writer. Being a native I can just sound stuff out. Incredible to learn why I use it.

So the school sends out our resumes tomorrow and say we should have lots of calls, maybe even tomorrow. I’ll let you know as soon as I here. Then moving this weekend to a place of our own. Should be a scene.

Since I have less than 48 hours, my classmates call me every half while I’m at the old flat to make sure I don’t wind up dead and eaten by the Witch. Kristen called this morning- “Do you still have your legs? You’re not tied to the bedpost are you?”

“No, just running late, thanks. Be there soon.” It’s nice to know people care.

I’ve thought of ways to kill her before she killed me. Olive oil on the shower floor? The Voice of America gave the name of an almost untraceable animal tranquilizer. Well, not to worry. I’ll hardly be there the next two days.

Tomorrow is the last day of class. Then we go out to celebrate with our teacher, Jon, the bald, gay, Norwegian. Great guy.

Then the Martian, Rachael (English) and Pedro (Portuguese) all leave. Pedro is the little guy. We call him the Portuguese Napoleon. He hates the Spanish. I guess 500 years of rivalry is hard to dismiss. He’s going to go to Brazil and teach English (and of course they speak Portuguese down there). His wish is to hook up with Brazilian girls until his heart eventually gives out. Vaya con Dios!

Come to think of it, the Irish hate the English. And who could blame them. 800 years of oppression. Black ’47 – England, seen as a bunch of good guys after defeating Hitler, were exporting beef like crazy out of Galway while the Irish starved because of the potato crop bust. Many bodies were found with green streaks in the corner of their mouths, from eating grass.

But one thing I don’t think we’ll see again is a European war (which would be nice!, since they tend to drag the whole fucking world into it). They are too tied together now economically with the Euro. So the whole world wins.

El Dude’s sweeping generalizations about Spain:

- They are a bunch of pussies. They are a bunch of thieves and pick pockets with no honor. Stealing is a way of life. Even the smallest 7-11 type market has a guard to ward off thieves. Stealing is completely accepted here. A bunch of weasels. I could take over the entire capital with a hockey stick if I really wanted because I still have some balls.

-They are masters of inefficiency. I’ve seen more efficient things come out of my ass.

-It’s incredibly laid back. It’s 2 AM and I am in early for a Thursday. This is a dangerous place.

-You don’t want to be a pig and live here. You’ll die and be eaten 207 ways.


Well, I have my first interview today. We’ll see how that goes. Should be exciting. I guess I’m going to finally go to bed before 4 AM. Hopefully I’ll sleep well. Only two more days and then I won’t have to worry about being eaten by some crazy Spanish witch. It really is the little things, isn’t it?

Here I Wait

Well, Spaniards are nothing if not always late. My first teaching interview, with of all things, the Shakespeare English school – seriously. My interview was 15 minutes ago, but the Flem, who had an interview at half ten, juts started to interview a few minutes ago. Deidre will probably be here for hours.

Time Lapse

Well – I got six hours of work and start Monday, with two more interviews to come on Mon and Tues. So – we’ll see how it goes. It’s always piecemeal. This Shakespeare school seems very unorganized, But, it’s one on one lessons and it’s with Accenture, but I need to travel away from the center of town, so I’ll just play it by ear. Like my life. But no regrets. I just take it as it comes.

Woke up and I had a big idea
To buy a new soul at the start of every year
Paid up and it cost me pretty dear
Here’s a hymn to those that disappear
-Porcupine Tree

Shifting and Drifting

It is Saturday morning, Feb 3, and I have not become a New York Strip steak. I was very nervous when the Witch was cooking vegetables and no meat all week long. Then she asked what time I was leaving on Sunday – first time the bitch has talked to me in 2 weeks! I was like ‘Oh fuck. Looks like I’m Sunday dinner!”

And then yesterday I actually saw the Witch cleaning! I was like – How much can you possibly hate me? First time I saw her clean anything in a month!

But now I know why. New girl from Maine moved into the empty big room she wouldn’t let me have. She’s very young, and obviously much more tender than I am (me hoofing around for thirty-eight years) so I believe I am finally safe.

Stuart, Kristen and I move in today. Praise Jah!

Last night was lots of fun after getting our Certificates and then going out to eat and celebrate. A very nice time. Lots of laughs til I thought my ribs would crack. Told our teacher, Jon, about the Martian “chimney- the fucking smoke comes out” and he laughed like hell.

Pedro left for Portugal this morning. The beginning of the breaking of the Fellowship. And the beginning of my new life in Madrid. Good thing too – the old one was starting to weigh me down, like carrying around a sack of fucking doorknobs.


To you is it movement or is it action?
Is it contact or just reaction?
A new revolution? Just resistance?
Is living or just existence?
Yeah you! It takes a little more persistence
To get up and go the distance
-Rush