A New Season

0:43

Watching Johan Santana tear through the Fish. I cooked up sweet onions in the wok and made hot dogs (i wokked them too – i am mad with wok power!) It's a delightful evening. I just got to sit down now after working late and then having errands to run – bill invoices to my bosses. But my class was canceled (i get half pay) for the morning so i can sleep. But I'm watching baseball in Madrid.

Oh brave new world that has such people in it
-Shakespeare

Still settling – I guess Mano took the ironing board i used last week, so i'll have to get one for work shirts, but I'm getting there. Only been a week. I think it'll work out fine.

I see the Yanks got rained out. You didn't have to be a brainiac to see that coming. Last year of the Stadium, last year of Shea – amazing.

I'm playing my guitar while my sister bangs a jar
The glass sets up a sound like people laughing
It's going to my brain and it's easing all my pain
I must hear this sound again 'cause time is passing
-The Who

I didn't see La Profesora this weekend because she was really sick. She had a respiratory thing. The Dr. prescribed her an antibiotic – wish she wasn't going to take until I coerced her. And then even after that she was coughing up blood! Told her to call the Dr. again but she's stubborn as a bull. So I'm going to go down tomorrow and see how she's doing. Why is it I always dig the loco ones? Coughing up blood! What is this, The siege of Madrid in '38? That's just wrong.

Brain melting. Mets up 7-2 in the 9^th. I need to sleep. Good night baseball. I love you so!

You say good-bye, I say Hello

I used to bleed like a suicide muther fucker
- Tony Iommi and Ian Astbury

Viernes. Gracias a Dios! Long week, but all is well. I can see the floor of my room now! Laura came by last night and Sydney came by for lunch – i made Gambas (shrimps) stir fry with calabazin, berenjena (squash, eggplant) and snow peas for Sydney. It was delicious and we ate on the terraza. Que bien!
i think i am just staying in tonight. I am exhausted from a first week of work and unpacking.

Domingo

Extasy Exta no!
-DjoMar

This is song that they played last night at the going away party for Mano – who's place i am taking in the piso. God the song was awful! Thankfully, there were more rockers than techno – heads. In fact, I met this guy, Alphonso, who is a guitarist and we're going to try to jam together.

I stayed in Friday night and still slept til 1pm. Ahhh...sleep. I was in the salon watching the end of the movie I fell asleep to, Breach, which is the true story of Robert Hanssen, the worst spy in US history and has lots of familiar DC shots. Anyway, at 1:30pm Mano and his friends burst in and then the part began.

Yesterday was gorgeous (70 F), then cool at night like always. Today is cold, rainy and windy.

Stupid Smarch!
-Homer Simspon

Tonight is opening day, or night. The new Nationals Park opens. Can't wait to see it. But I don't live there anymore – so the Mets are the real story this year. I'll be able to watch the game at 10 pm tomorrow night. Woo hoo!

I see the Yankees are opening at home, at night, on March 31^st! Are they insane? Is this because of global warming? And you're playing Toronto who has a dome! Have these schedule makers all undergone full frontal labotomies????

23:41

Kristen came for dinner. We made stir fry veggies. She is doing great, and is probably leaving in Sept., as is Sydney. I think Laura leaves in July. So once again, as in Jamaica, I will be the last in line.

Go Davidson 23-23. I love the Internet – watching NCAA's in Madrid. How sweet it is!

We are about to lead an attack on technology worthy of being chronicled in an anthem by Rush
- Bender, Futurama

• 
  

But I hate Jim Nance. He is trite, banal, hackneyed, boring and predictable.

Prayers for Ugly Children

19:13 Jueves

They tried to send me back to rehab
i said “No, no, no”
-Amy Winehouse

One more class tomorrow and then the week is over – harumph!

American Laura is coming over for dinner tonight – gambas (shrimp) stir fry.

When i was young they said “Look out for Sky Lab”
I said “D'oh, D'oh, D'oh!

It so cold and windy here. Coldest since a week in December! Winter had me fooled. I thought it was on it's way out. I almost got blown off the terraza. Foul!

Spanish Police tried to break my kneecaps
I said “No, no, no!”

My habitacion (room) is still a godless wreck. Maybe tomorrow i will finish it. Then i'll take some pics.

Today I ordered coffee con leche and a tosta con aceite (toast with oil) for breakfast. They gave me an airplane bottle of olive oil. Is that just crazy? I didn't know whether to pour it on the toast or chug it.

They tried to say she was my girlfriend
I said “She's a ho, ho, ho.

2:31 Viernes

Laura and I had a good time. She is my ambassador to the States (West). I keep an eye on you all in the East via satellite. She loved the terraza. And it was cold. But the warm weather she is coming.

All else is well. La Profesora was quite ill but is now on the mend.

Muslims tried to put on me a Jihad
I said “Whoa, whoa, whoa

Everyday i Write the Book

1:08

Does anybody really remember anything?

• El Dude On the upcoming 100 year anniversary of the revolt against Napoleon in Madrid

Starting to settle in. Not a bad vibe for just 2 days.

My students were quite sweet as the past few days they were all like did you find a place to live?

Happily yes.

Will you still love me tomorrow?
-Carole King

I see the Red Sox rallied to beat the fucking A's. Nice one. 99 to go.

Prediction for 2008 World Series: Mets over Tigers.

For my next trick i shall pull a rabbit out my....

It's been fun talking to all of you on IM – jaygreco333 on Yahoo messenger, for those of you playing at home.

23:06

Chema and his girlfriend Anita are here and we are all watching the friendly between Italy and Espana. These are all warm ups for Euro 2008.

I am exhausted – long day today. Bed i hear you calling.

puttering about

Marzo 24 00:13

I can finally find some things in my room. I should be able to finish unpacking tomorrow night - Time to sleep. In clean sheets and on a new polyester pillow – not an old one with feathers that is left over from the Civil war. The material is so soft it was jabbing me with sharpened little quills in the back of the head!

No expects the Spanish Inquisition!

-Mel Brooks

A little warmer today, but very windy in the morning. Should be terrace weather soon! It is primavera (Spring), after all.

The Washington Caps have an outside chance at making the playoffs. It would be sweet if they did. It's been a long time.

Music to unpack to:

Rush – Snakes and Arrows

Iommi – Tony Iommi and guests

Nina Simone – Sugar in my Bowl, the Very Best of

Asia- Fantasia Live 2007

Marillion – Marbles Live

Neil Young – Greendale

Neil Young – Live Rust

Ani DiFranco – Little Plastic Castle

Porcupine Tree – Fear of a Blank Planet

Joni Mitchell – Hissing of Summer Lawns

Bejing getting the Olympics was always a joke. Now it's a bad joke. Free Tibet!! The Chinese Government is nothing but a bunch of totalitarian thugs. Give your citizens basic human rights!

Anything else?

Oh yeah. Roger Clemens – kiss my ass! The gov is going to add more counts – and unless you fess up - your Cy Bung is going to the slammer. Look out rocket – fire in the hole!

Yeah. That's it. I'm done.

10:51

Back from morning class. Damn, I enjoy and get great satisfaction from teaching. Finally, a job i really love. Only took 39 and ¾ years. Speak of which, happy birthday to Stabile who turns a distinguished age on the 29 de Marzo.

I had it wrong. We are 8 hours behind Tokyo, so the Red Sox play the fucking A's in ten minutes. Oh joy oh rupture – i'll get to see a little of it.

I am ordering MLB TV for the month for 19.95 – I'll see if i use it. Besides, it's only 15 E. Let's see if this works (Please don't be Remy and that other Dildo!) . I am downloading Microsoft Silverlight – to enhance my experience (ooh la la!) You know who else i hate – Bil Gates. Because he is master of the world we all must use inferior products.

I have to do something about this fucking radiator in my room. It gurgles, burps and farts randomly like Barney from the Simpsons. Joder! I got NO sleep last night. I need to investigate a solution. Its getting warmer though and soon no heat will be needed.

Joder. I hate Bill gates – hate him. Te Odio!

Okay- we don't have the best connection, no matter what Chema says. 400K is better than 700K, thusly for streaming video. But I am watching the Red Sox along with Tripp (6am) and James and Kara (4am – fuck a duck!).

Baseball is all i miss about the USA except the people. I am watching baseball – hooray. Technology. Until it kills us all – it's the best!!!!

View from the Terraza, part 1

21:48

Mama, just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead,
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away-
Mama ooh,
Didn't mean to make you cry-
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow-
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters
-Queen

All is well.

Spaniards keep their houses a lot messier than Americans. Their dishes are often kind of dirty, they never seem to get clean. They have no bath mats in showers. They never have a towel in the kitchen. A lot don't have soap at the sink. So i always move in and get some towels, and wipe down the counters with fantastic or something once in a while- something they often never do. Just an observation. Personally, i believe in hygiene. But they've been around for hundreds of years, so it must not be that important.

That being said, there are a lot of disabled and what i would call maimed people. They walk with some crazy lilt that can't be cool ergonomically for the other body parts. They're blind - a lot of blind folks here. Seems like a lot more special needs or injured folk than back in the USA. And this is only a country of 40 million.

It was good to get back teaching today. One of my students had an emergency appendectomy! She's like 21. And then she lifted her shirt and showed me the stitches! Whew! Talk about open people!

I need to go try and fit my clothes into my tiny room. It'll work. I just need to be creative.

I also need to fix the radiator in my room that gurgles randomly like Gollum during the night. Anyone know how to fix that? Anyone? Smith? Luckily we won't need the heat soon.

Baseball starts this week, in Japan, right? I think those games start at 10pm here.

Atleti had a huge win over Sevilla on Sat. to stay in the final Champions League spot.

Does anything else matter enough to tell you? Probably not.

Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters- nothing really matters to me
-Queen

Eaze -ter

summertime
and the living is easy
fish are jumping
and the cotton is high
your daddy's rich
and your mom she's good looking
so hush my little baby
don't you all cry
-Gershwin


Actually it's freezing here today.

Not a day you normally see people move, but who said i was normal? Easter is not a big deal here. It is the end of the holiday week and people are bummed out. I haven't seen a lot of people dressed or going to dinner.

I am in my new flat. I have an Internet connection. We have a TV. Life is good.

Time to iron some shirts and then sleep. I am exhausted. A lot of lugging involved. It took almost an hour to get the taxi after we called. Then the taxi driver got lost. How the hell do you get lost with a GPS? This is not the most efficient country on the planet.

But it'll do pig. It'll do.

Thinking and Stinking

The most important three words in writing....
Ass in Chair.
-Attributed to a Fairfield English Professor i can´t recall, as relayed to me by Gene Tiernan


Oleanders growing outside her door
Soon they're gonna be in bloom
Up in Annandale
I can´t stand her
Doing what she did before
Living like a gypsy queen
In a fairy tale
Well I hear the whistle but I can´t go
I´m gonna take her down to Mexico
She said oh no
Guadalajara won´t do
Well I did not think the girl
Could be so cruel
And I´m never going back
To my old school
-Steely Dan

So with la Profesora in Guadalajara with her family, I sat my somewhat smelly ass (no shower for 3 days) down and wrote about 4,000 words. A damn good day. I´ve finished with the bulk of the story that takes place in DC and Las Vegas and have started on the much longer Madrid section. Once it´s at 50,000 words i´ll be happy to send it to anyone who wants to check it out. But that will be a while, methinks.

Then Canal Cuatro showed three episodes of HBO´s Roma in a row, and when i hit the audio button on the remote they had it in it´s original form, sweet beloved English! I love that show. This season is about Octavian´s rise to power, eventually taking his revenge on Brutus, Cassius and Antony. Murder, gore, orgies, mothers and daughters having sex with the same men - now that´s entertainment!

It´s raining here. Windy as all hell. Maria were shopping and got caught in the storm and just called to tell me she´s all wet ( i LOVE it when she says that!) and that she´s going to use it as an excuse to take a shower at her Mom´s flat.

¨We should be okay," I said. "I had cold pizza and cold chicken nuggets yesterday, and haven´t showered since Miercoles to save gas."

"Just shower baby. Don´t worry. Just shower!"

I think i´ll do as I´m told. Just this once.

Call of the Wild

I know that the heat goes on
-Asia

Actually, it´s Viernes the 21st

LaLa is in heat. She screams nonstop and is always throwing her ass in my face.

"Look, I only have sex with one person in this house. Emphasis on the word person, whatever you perverted felines may think."

Twice now i have either woken up to or walked in on Bichito mounting her, with this look on his face like now what? Help a brother out! Bichie´s eggs are soft boiled, meaning his huevos aren´t packing any heat.

"Can you score me some Viagra?" he meows.

"If i thought it would help I would." I tenderly explain the situation. "They chopped your balls off. Well not off, but you´re a turkey without any stuffing, if you catch my drift."

"Joder!!!!" he meows.

"Sorry man. It happens to all house cats. At least you got to have one litter with LaLa, which is where Guinness came from."

He runs off to the window to ponder this and life´s other mysteries, like when we´ll open a beer bottle so he´ll have a bottle cap to play football with.

Semana Santa
Holy week. Everyone is off on Jueves y Viernes. It´s the biggest holiday of the year. It´s so funny how all the biggest holidays are Catholic holidays but no one under 50 gives a shit about religion. Franco, like the God of the Old TestameNt, was a nasty fucker, so i think they´ve had just enough of both of them.

We saw this terrible movie called Jesus (that´s hey zeus to you) on TV with Jeremy Sisto as Jesus, who recently played the incestuous psychopath Billy on Six Feet Under (Dos Metros Baja here). Nice choice! Debra Messing as Mary Magdalene, Oi! ,and Gary Oldman as Pontius Pilate - seriously!

But after Jesus is resurrected and shows himself to a very disagreeable Thomas, he walks into the light and suddenly appears in jeans and a denim shirt in modern day Jerusalem. A bunch of children come running up to him and they all walk away together laughing. Seriously! It was so bad it was funny.

Home

I have a flat! I told Chema the story and he didn´t think it would be a problem. So we´ll give it a shot. I just need to leave the country before we go in May to renew my automatic 90 day visa. I left last month but you don´t get stamped in other EU countries (so i have no proof) and you get 90 days on your Visa. So i need to go to Morocco or some place non EU for a weekend. Actually, Ireland may work because they stamp there. Anyway, i need to take a little trip.

And i move in on Domingo!!!!! YEEEEEE HOOOOOOO! I will have Internet so the blog should be more regular with less mammoth entries. I shall be in touch!

And I don´t own the clothes I´m wearing,
And the road goes on forever,
And I´ve got one more silver dollar,
But I´m not gonna let them catch me, no
Not gonna let em catch the midnight rider.
-Allman Brothers

Camping

This is not America
-David Bowie

Well, things are a little nutty at casa de la Profesora. As you know already, La La is in heat. This has the other cats freaked out and Bichie pissed on the comforter, so now we just have a little blanket and no heat. And the blankets that were on sofa got pissed on by Guinness a few days earlier (her cats have discipline issues). And the propane people never came on Miercoles (which is how we get hot water and the burners on the stove to work) so we have been rationing hot water. But today is an impares day (odd number) so i get to shower. Woo hoo! If there´s any warm water yet. Sound Crazy?... just another day in exile.

La Profesora went to Guadalajara with her sister to go see family. She may or may not be back tonight. I may go out tonight, but at least for today it´s me and the Gatos and the laptop. I am 12,500 words into the new novel. Only 100,000 to go! Eesh. It´s a marathon process, that´s for sure.

The title has changed many times (if you´ve been playing at home) but is now called Buying New Soul, and i expect it to stay that way. I am excited about it, which sure fucking helps. Spanish Gangsters, a harsh look at modern day sex slavery, Ghosts from the past, Spanish Civil War history, Franco and ETA political intrigue, a crazy ex-wife, a strange American Expat, a young Californian self potrait artist, temptation in the desert, a talking scorpion named Juan Jo who wears a top hat and tuxedo and dispenses advice - and crucifixion!!!! Yee hoo! I think i´ll use that as the inside cover!

Let me flow into the ocean
Let me get back to the sea
Let me be stormy and let me be calm
Let the tide in, rush over me.

I am not the actor
This can't be the scene
But I am in the water,
As far as I can see...
-The Who

Outlaw

When they kick out your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun

When the law break in
How you gonna go?
Shot down on the pavement
Or waiting in death row
-The Clash

Well...I found a flat. Tremendous. Everything i always wanted. It´s the top floor so there are 2 terraces! WiFi, cable, and a the other guy is a mellow computer geek named Chema (Spanish) who works nights. Perfect you say? Ahh... but this is the Spanish Exile we are talking about: a time and space beyond normal comprehension. Rod Serling has nothing on me.

He offered me the flat and i accepted, but need to call him tonight to see when i can move in. Here´s the rub. It´s a rent controlled flat through the Madrid gov. This means we both have to sign when the contract renews in May. The problem... i still don´t have a work Visa. Now walking into the Madrid Capital offices and saying I´m here illegally is not what i had in mind.

So i have two choices...ask him tonight if he can sign alone til i get this all straightened out. Or... do a Kansas City Shuffle.

"What´s a Kansas City Shuffle?" you ask. Well, you´d know if you ever saw Lucky Number Slevin. But suffice it to say, when they look left, you go right. Which means i could wait to address this problem with him until May and i am already there a month. And then say "lawdy lawdy guvner!, my Visa didn´t come through yet!" I mean, I am working on it. Life is ugly.

What to do, what to do?

Life as an outlaw. It´s not all chocolate trees and gumdrop houses. But it´s great theater. Unless it´s you.

Mirando...

It´s in the way that you use it,
It comes and it goes.
It´s in the way that you use it,
Boy don´t you know.
-Eric Clapton

Looking, looking, looking. It never ends.

Join my quest for fire
-Iron Maiden

I don´t know what to say except that I am avoiding taking a shower cuz the water is cold here and just a trickle. But i need to leave in half an hour to go see another piso. This one is on the south siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide- across the river. Not so close for morning classes but close to others and Getafe. And close to Vincente Calderon where Atleti plays. Booh Yeah! Wish me luck. My fortune has to turn for the better soon. I have this whole week off for Semana Santa. While i wish i was in the Canary Islands - i guess i am lucky i have the time to hunt for a flat.

Only time will tell
-Asia

Moving Day

Mar 13 , 19:27


Clear the battlefield and let me see
all the profits of our victory
- Emerson, Lake and Palmer

Packing up clothes and everything really. Why can't i ever stay in a place for more than 6 months. I saw a very small studio today. The pluses outweighed the minuses and i said i'd take it, until they told me i had to pay them a month's rent finder fee – which is an INSANE amount of money for a Spaniard. The agent only spoke Spanish (i got by fine), but the guy i was talking with to take the flat “spoke English.” I told him he was insane if he thought I'd pay them a months rent for 10 minutes work (Maybe 20 because she couldn't open the front door at first!, which would of course have to be fixed.). “You're insane,” i said and hung up.

He called back two minutes later. I was hoping for a counter offer.

“Umm...will you still be coming in tonight to give us the deposit?”

Are you kidding me? No you fucking genius. I will not. So many of these people don't have a clue.

The washing machine was across from the toilet, which meant you'd pee from the side and i guess have you're legs squashed against you when you took a poo. There was no heat, just electric for hot water. There was no oven (I was going to buy a barbecue anyway.) NEXT!!!

I hate to take the stuff off the walls. I just got done decorating! Pics of NY and DC. Mets, Caps, Nationals and Seahawks. A Simpson's Movie poster in Espanol and a Star Wars calender. Goddammit!

And the beat goes on
-Sonny and Cher

Did you know?
... that a lot of toilets here have a button where you can either press half of it or the whole thing. One side uses 3 liters to flush for pee and such, and pressing both releases six gallons for those days after you eat a steak. Now that's what i call civilized!

New Rush Live album on Abril 8th. King Crimson Live in NYC, August 14-16! Looks like i'll go to a concert and head back to Spain again. Woo hoo!

We watched the tragedy unfold
we did as we were told
we bought and sold
it was the greatest show on earth!
-Roger Waters

I am such a good American. You can not believe how much shit i have accumulated in a year!!!! Unreal. The corporations that have marketed to me since i left the womb would be proud.


15 de marzo 13:13

The Ides of March. No need to worry about being stabbed in the back. I've already been screwed over by my landlord and room mate. Well, at least that's one less thing to worry about.

One door shuts and a window opens.
-La Profesora

Well, i knew what she meant. I rather use another door but her description may be more acurate

Windows are for cheaters
chimneys for the poor
Closets are for hangers
winners use the door
-Bruce Springsteen

American Laura and I heard Born to Run in a bar on Martes. That was freaking bizarre. I thought it was so funny when there was talk about making it New Jersey's State song. Kevin, in his infinite wisdom, said “do you really want a state song with not one but two references to suicide?”

I still lived there at the time. “We like to call a spade a spade in Jersey,” i said.

So the walls are bare. Clothes and belongings are everywhere. How will i get all this to Getafe? Good thing i didn't take the studio. Where would all this fit?

I own a stone Atleti mug for beer or green tea. I own two martini/wine glasses. And a wok. That's all my kitchen stuff. Don't know how to transport the humidifier. Oi!

I see there's a new Horton Movie. Wouldn't it be so much cooler if it was Horton Hears The Who. He could sit there in the jungle playing air guitar and doing Townshend windwills to Quadrophenia. Now that would be sweet!

Just another tricky day
for you
-The Who

I am so bad at cleaning and packing. I may have to call in some help.

I carried in dinner last night so as not to fuck up the kitchen. I got some fried chicken from Pollo Mania. They are a cute couple in their 50's from Ecuador. I shall miss them.

Must i be a man in a suitcase
is it me, the man with the stranger's face?
-The Police

So where's that frigging window She was going on about?

15:48

Getting there, but still a long way to go. Clothes almost packed away. Put on one last load of laundry for towels and stuff that are theirs
More Music to move by:

At War with Mystics – Flaming Lips
The Soft Bulletin – Flaming Lips
Best of Coltrane – John Coltrane
Pat Benatar – Live from Earth
Soundgarden – Superunknown
Live at Carngie Hall - Ani DiFranco
Desire of the Rhino King – Adrian Belew
The Last Waltz – The Band
Presto – Rush
Rare Live – Rush (My own collection of rareities culled over the years – Available thru El Dude Records)
American Idiot – Green Day
Big Country – Brighton Rock
Don't Forget About the Sea – Wayward Platypus
Miles of Aisles – Joni Mitchell
Shadows and Light – Joni Mitchell
Shine – Joni Mitchell
Nick Cave – Abbatoir Blues Tour Live
The Lamb Lives – Genesis
Elephant – White Stripes



Tis the last day in the house. I may be back to get stuff, but slept my last night, took my last shower, etc.

Meet me on the Last Day
with a beer in your paw
we can throw silver dollars
into hell's burning maw
-Wayward Platypus

I will have to abandon my plants, Icarus and Daedelus. Hopefully the new people will care for them. They are good plants – they never give me any trouble.

Derby is playing Manchester United on the tele, nil - nil. It's pissing rain. It's England. What else is new?

So this my last post from La Villa Strangiato. Cheers all!

March 17

12:21

St Patrick's Day. Happy to all. I am in Getafe. I'm going up to Madrid now to clean out the last of my stuff. No luck yet on flats – all shit holes. Oh well.

The Wheel in the sky keeps on turning
don't know where i'll be tomorrow
-Journey

21:17

I am safely in Getafe with all my shit. Maite gave me a ride. Thank you and goodnight.

In Search of...

Lunes, 10 de Marzo

Remember that show with Leonard Nimoy? It was on right before the Muppet Show on Monday night. 7:00 and 7:30 respectively. The Seester and i used to watch it with Pop (our Grandfather) every week. First Mr. Spock looks for Yeti or the Loch Ness monster, and then Sylvester Stallone hosts Miss Piggy bitch-slapping Kermit the Frog. Damn straight it's not easy being green! What's better than that? Nothing on television these days comes close.

(Picture Archie and Edith at the piano)

Those were the days...
Darth was not so crazy then
Missy was still dating men
Mister would could use a man like Mario Puzo again
We went to the laser show
and left cuz i had to go
i took a whizz in the snow
...those were the days!

Just saw a flat the size of a Shaquile O'Neal sneaker that they wanted 650E for, along with 100E for the furniture; consisting of a cot, a table you wouldn't trust to let the Sheridan girls play “tea” at and a kitchen that was in a closet! If you opened it, the door blocked the only exit!!!!! Isn't that a fire hazard???? Now i have seen everything.

Spotswood: Have you ever seen an ant eat it's own head, Gary?
Gary: Uh...No.
Spotswood: Then i guess you haven't seen everything.

-Team America

Music to tear your flat apart by:

Blind Faith
Test for Echo – Rush
Vapor Trails – Rush
Come Up Screaming – Big Country
Marbles by the Sea – Marillion
Fantasia: Live in Japan – Asia ( i am soooooooo busted!)
Fleetwood Mac: Greatest Hits

Sara must be one of my favorite Fleetwood Mac songs. It's so subtle it's almost hypnotic. And Lyndsey Buckingham had to craft it into a song knowing it was about banging Mick Fleetwood like a snare drum!!!!! Talk about sexual tension!!!

I can't believe my boss is Lyndsay Buckingham (woman)! Her parents must have lived in a box.

22:15

Time to cook dinner, shower and go to bed. I usually shower after my early classes, but one of my private classes, this 22 year old gal Guiomar, has a pero named Blackie and he always jumps all over me.

Miercoles 12

yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of the Atoche train bombings and they dedicated a monument to the 191 people who died. Tragic – very tragic.

All else is status quo. Pack, look for a piso, cough. Pack, visit a piso, cough.

i will survive
-Gloria gaynor

Lunes

It was just one of those days
When the mind strays
One of those days
When everyone plays
One of those days
When everyone stays
And all of the dreaming goes on
-Marillion

Cold and chilly, and i believe i may have to go to the doctor to get something to get this crap out of my chest. The flats i have seen are all holes or expensive.

I got paid and went to the bank. The Daft Cunt is about as interesting a a corn on you big toe. He wants me to start testing a class, which of course he never mentioned. I´ve only been teaching them for 6 months! He paid me in 500E notes- which they call Bin Laden´s, because no one ever sees them.

Then i went and got a coffee and they treated me like i was something they dug out of their ear. Just put a sign Guirris not welcome! Then i went to use the rest room (for the Poop Du Jour) and the toilet had no seat and no paper. Just one of those days.

So my dear blogees, Lunes is Lunes, on either side of the Atlantic. I leave you now for the cold sterile air of the web as i look for a flat.

This too shall pass. At least the left won the election. The PP and Rajoy would have forced me to live in an attic like Anne Franco!

My wife has burned the scrambled eggs
The dog just bit my leg
My teenage daughter ran away
My fine young son has turned out gay
And it would be ok on any other day
- The Police

Viva la Izquierda!

21:10 Domingo

Exit polls are saying that Zappy (Zapatero) and the socialists have won. But for those who have a short memory, exit polls said Kerry was going to win in 2004 and then he found himself buggered. I can't take the tension – I'm going across the street to watch Barca – Villareal.

Wow! I'm watching TV and it looks like everyone casts a paper ballot. This could take forever.

I am the Lorax and i speak for the trees!
-Dr. Seuss

If Rajoy wins I am going to have to wear an armband with a bald eagle on it wherever i go.
Maybe I'll just have one tattooed on my left ass cheek and go sin (without) pants.

Freedom!
-Braveheart

21:44

Zappy is ahead 171 – 150 with 45.6% reporting, according to TVE 1, which is fairly even-handed. Some of the TV stations are very right biased. It's confusing – the left is red whereas the right is blue.

The opposite of the USA.

A minute seems like a lifetime
when i feel this way
-Led Zeppelin

I understand about half of what they say on television. In case you were wondering.

My students are amazed at how long the US election process is. I agree. It's a never-ending story. No wonder why people burn out on it.

It was cool and windy today, but still. Maybe 60F and 55F with wind chill. All of our early blooming trees are indeed blooming.

54.2% reporting – Zappy still 171 – Rajoy 150. Leaders from both sides stand in front of the platform and pontificate, but not Zappy or Rajoy. Very strange.

Okay- Villareal is up 1-0 on Barca, on a penalty. I hate penalties. Okay, now i'm going.

23:54

Zappy's gonna win! Que bien! Fuck the fascists, always and forever, So happy i could take a poo! And Villareal beat Barca in a barn burner: 2-1. Oh glorious day. G-L-O-R-I-A – Gloria!

So i guess i can stay on course to be here until July of '09. Then it's off to Tibet to free the Dalai Lama!

Judgement Day

Domingo 12:38

It's nice to be on my own computer and have the G back (they would say Heh, in Spanish).

Nikos Shakalakasmokacracapopolis – you are found guilty of crimes against the the English language and of being a fiduciary douchebag. How to you plead?

"Nikos no want to go. Gas cost too much. No is fair!"

I therefore sentence you to banishment. Don't let the door slam you in the nuts on the way out.

It's 13:12 – he said he'd be out by two but he's not here. At two i start dragging his shit into the hall. But i just checked his room and most everything is packed. Once he leaves i can begin the exorcism.

13:41 He's here now, crashing around and packing.

One little victory
-Rush

14:30

Well, he's gone. No i am cleaning and have to find a new place to live. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

He was like. “Good-bye Jay. Just forget about all this.

What is this?
Are you some kind of hypnotist?
-Flaming Lips

Not to worry Nikos. I guarantee i'll forget about you. That will be easy.

17:34

I just got back from seeing a place in Barrio de la Concepcion. For you kids playing along at home – that's right- that's neighborhood of the conception. Every street is Virgen this and Virgen that. It was two young Chinese girls and a young Spanish dude. They were nice but the place was scuzzy and smelled like rabbit (they had one). NEXT!!!

same old song

1:54 Domingo 9 de Marzo

so look away look away
hide your eyes from the land where i lie cold
look away look away
from the lies in the stories that were told
-Big Country

Here i sit. Voting starts in 7 hours. A very rare Saturday night where i sleep at home. Works out good thoughto throw Nikos out tomorrow. I've tried to walk as heavy as possible and slam things to wake him up, but i'm not sure it's worked. But i turned off the heat – it's so warm in here! I hope the little fucker freezes during the night. Then i can put him out with the trash.

Went to Escorial with Kristen and saw the old monastery- really beautiful. We had a lot of fun. It was woodsy and full of nature. It's always nice to get out of the City when you can, The buildings are so old! There were gorgeous gardens an a really old plaza. It's easy to grow immune to such cool old buildings here and take them for granted.. It was about 60 F, 14 C – which was downright warm after walking uphill.

But it's a Franco town. All the old geezers came out to watch Real Madrid at 20:00 on TV and there were signs everywhere to vote PP. I hate the right. They are a bunch of hypocrites who hide behind their plastic god. It's enough to make you want to cut Nikos' throat.

I love green olives. Just thought you might like to know.

Long live the Republic!

We made some friends
but now it's done
I always knew
that we would never find the sun-Big Country

All Election´s Eve

Someone lights a cigarette
While riding in a car
Some ol' guy takes a swig
And passes back the jar
But where they were last night
No-one can remember
Somebody got murdered
Goodbye, for keeps, forever
-The Clash

20:10 Viernes

La Profesora is drying her hair and Bichito (the cat) and i are blogging. the disturbing news is that a member of the left party, the PSOE, was killed today by ETA. This is bad, because the PP (fascists) are running on a stop ETA campaign. ETA has been around since the 20´s, and there have been many more right gov´s than left, and they´ve done nothing. This could really innfluence the election as the March 11th Atoche train bombings of 2004 did. The PP is stil bitter about that, but they tried to blame it on ETA when they knew it was really Al Queda. It was this deceit that caused young people to turn out in droves and elect the socialists. I think the PP killed this guy. This is getting bad.


Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
-The Clash


The funny news is that one of los gatos ate the G on La Profesora´s computer. You have no idea how much you use the G until it´s gone! So i type the G with a chopstick in my hand - I think pretty soon i´ll be able to type and eat California rolls at the same time.

Or would could find the fucking G. But we´ve looked everywhere. We may have to check their litter box tomorrow.

Sabado 12:21

I´m going to meet Kristen in Atocha and we´re going to go to Escorial, a city to the North and West. Should be fun.

Nikos leaves tomorrow. Then i´ll burn incense and have an exorcism. Speaking of which, time to look for new flats!!!

Take me to the fantastic place
Keep the rest of my life away
Take me to the fantastic place
Keep the rest of my life away

Take me to the island
I'll watch the rain over your shoulder
The streetlights in the water
The moment outside of real life

I never could dream while I was sleeping
Put your arms around my soul
And take it dancing..
-Marillion

Official

and all the time that's passed me by -
it hardly seems to matter now -
not now
-Genesis

I am divorced - finally 20 months later. Never live in Virginia. Don't be born there either. Don't drive through it. Matter of fact, just ignore it altogether.

So i am packing, looking for a place, cleaning, and trying to fight the urge, with all might, to kill Nikos with a can opener. Gracia a Dios por la Profesora.

"Can't I at least put a pentagram on his door?"

"No! Tue eres muy mal!"

"What about a flag of Turkey?"

"Turquia? Por que?"

"Every 50 years or so they slaughter a bunch of Greeks. Smyrna in '22 was the worst."

"NO!!!!!"

"Look, I'm just trying to think out of the box here."

So that's the story. That and hoping the extreme right doesn't win the election on Sunday, which will hasten my departure from Spain. I have now been in exile here for 445 days. Where does the time go?

I wouldn't live there if you paid me to
-Talking Heads

The Never Ending story

Jueves, 6 de Marzo – 14:31

It's here I sit and rust amid this ruin and rancor like tire irons
toothy grills and car parts before me
...the acid rain floods my floorboard, burns my pores, and rots my upholstry..
once I was worshipped, polished magnificently, now I lay in decay by the dirty
angry bay
-King Crimson

Well, yesterday was a long day. I told Nikos to fuck off and get out of the house. He called Isidro and Rosa and then lied that they said it was okay for him to stay till Sunday. Little did shit-for-brains know that I just happen to teach Isidro and his children on Miercoles. He also told them that the heat is high because i always leave the windows open.

I was ready to come home and physically throw the deadbeat out. I figured I'd just stick his hand in the microwave and staring pressing buttons. But La Profesora is a good influence on me. I asked her what she would do when she called before he got home. She said she would just leave him be if he'll be out by Domingo. I'll be with her this weekend anyway. And i have his deposit, but that may not cover all the utilities. Plus I have to pay the whole rent for Marzo. So – inbetween thinking about killing him with a snow scraper and pondering fleeing to Marakesh, i came up with another idea. I am moving out on the 15^th.

JJ offered me to stay with him til July. I have to go see it tonight (God help me!) but i fear it's not very close to the Metro. And it's east of where i live now. I can stay with La Profesora for a week or two, but that's far from work as well.

But it buys me time to find something for April. It's the Never Ending Story for me – looking for a place to live.

Free at last
Free at last
Thank God almighty
we're free at last!
-Martin Luther King Jr.

The good news is that i believe i am divorced. The email said they were sending the final decree, but alack, the asswipe forgot the attachment. So it comes full circle – incompetence in the beginning comes around to connect with ignorance in the end.

Erection Day
At least that's how my Japanese buddy says it. And why the hell not? I am praying the Socialists can win on Sunday. These people are nuts if they bring the right back. Crazy. And I will be one step closer to Asia or Buenos Aires. I can't live here very long under the PP. They are pinned against the right wall. Mariano Rajoy wants foreigners to live in a box. I'd be living in Maria's Mother's attic like Anne Franco. Speaking of which, I read The Boy in the Stripes Pajamas on the plane ride back from Kobenhaven. Chilling. Really good.

My first class didn't show, which is why i am typing. I have my computer with me because I am showing one class The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. They love it, it's a classic of literature and it's an Easter story, of course. We watch it in English with English subtitles.

Don't think i'm doing anything on Semana Santa. May go to the beach for a weekend once i get settled in a new place.

Bounced out of Europe
Real Madrid crashed out of the Champions League last night with a crippling loss to Roma here in Madrid. I really don't like Real Madrid, but the bar across the street is a great place to watch. It was electric. You could barely hear and it would have been deafening if they had scored the tying goal. Also many people rolling their own cigarettes and lots of curious blue smoke.

Most peculiar Mama!
-John Lennon

So I have about ten days to clean before i move. I have accumulated a lot of stuff here in the past year – i'm such a well trained American!!! Some of my clothes are beat and i can give to charity. There's a dumpster for that in the park outside the house. The rest i just need to pare down. Travel light. Don't get weighed down by material possessions. Roam the earth like Kane in Kung Fu. But with my iPod.

Next time i live alone...

Of course you know this means war...
-Bugs Bunny

All hell broke loose on Lunes at 23:05. There was a 5 minute break in the last cara a cara, face to face between Zapatero (the incumbent socialist president) and Mariano Rajoy (right wing, fascist, Franco loving pig). That was the good news. The bad news was giving Nikos the gas bill, of which his share was 95 E. I also told him i needed the rent for Marzo as I see Isidro on Miercoles.

“Just keep the fianza (deposit),” he said. I was not expecting this but waited a moment before i protested. I wanted to keep the deposit to pay off any unpaid utility bills (this bill was only from Dec 6 to Feb 6).

He saw the bill and freaked.

“I know it's high, man. That's why we are leaving at the end of Marzo, remember?” He went on and on and on like an idiotic child who can not express himself clearly because he has fallen down the stairs on his noggin' one too many times (which I think is actually the case).

“I no pay this, it's too high!”

“I agree, but that's the bill and we both lived here, so we have to pay it unless we can choose otherwise.”

“Nikos no pay.”

“Look, if you don't the only person you are screwing is me. Do you understand that?”

“But it no fair! I pay 375E for room – how much it cost me? 500E?”

“I don't know – it depends on the bill.”

“I no pay!”

“Now you're starting to piss me off. Look, I need the rent and this half of the utility bill.”

“Then Nikos go!”

“Fine. Go. Get the fuck out.

“You run clothes machine all the time, so much water. I no pay.”

“It's my fault you don't wash your clothes. Look, your the asshole who had the heat on when i got home from Denmark on Sunday when it was 24 C degrees that day! The radiator in my room is turned off. You turn it on cuz you're cold and that's fine. I don't complain. We have to split it. There's no other way. And also, the water is a separate bill.”

It went round and round. “It's too high!”

“Do you have another solution?”

Silence. Finally.

“Okay. Then i need half the gas bill and the rent by Wednesday.”

“I go then. Nikos go.”

“Fine. Get the fuck out.”

“You throw Nikos out. Why you do this Jay?”

“Fuck a duck but you are stupid. You said you wanted to leave. Go. Get the fuck out.”

“Where I go?”

“I don't fucking care. Not my problem. Just get the fuck out by Sunday.”

“Okay, I pay these days, take my fianza and go.”

“No you moron. Now I am definitely keeping the deposit till all the bills are paid.”

“I go to police!”

“Call him. I'm doing nothing illegal. Here, use my phone.”

Never bluff a bluffer. He went away.

I was unusually calm. Nothing surprises me anymore. Madrid is a city within an insane asylum within a city.

So then he said he'd pay the 95E and leave on Sunday.

But he didn't. So now i just want him out. I really could care less what happens to the kooky bastard. He'll been gone by Sunday, but now i want him out sooner. Next flat i live alone.

LIFE RULE # 1 – Never fight a land war in Asia. Just ask Napoleon or Hitler.

LIFE RULE #2 – Never owe money to a guy from Jersey.

We hold these truths to be self evident.

I'm the patron saint of denial
With an angel face and a taste for suicidal
-Green Day

Bad News Part II

Actually the presidential election is very important. If the PP wins Spain will become a fascist state again. They want to bring back dictatorship and the Inquisition (a ban on Muslim head scarfs, Spanish “indoctrination classes for immigrants – kiss my American ass.) I joked with La Profesora that i would leave if the PP won and she got a little upset. I told her I will stay next year as planned, but I will probably move on after that if Rajoy wins. After all, i left the US after the fascists took power.

But hopefully the Spanish people are not so stupid as to re-elect the right wing again.

It can't happen here
can it?

-Rainbow

23,000

As we've discussed before, if a picture is worth a thousand words then i am buggered. I can't possibly compete. So here's the view from Kobenhaven on Feb 29th, the freak day!

The football jersey was taken for La Profesora because that's a Getafe shirt. The sign about the presidential election was in the airport, and i guess is basically an advertisement for CNN.

La Firma

So much style without substance
So much stuff without style
It's hard to recognize the real thing
It comes along once in a while
-Rush

Firma Means signature. That is all i am waiting for from some judge in Fairfax Virginia and I will be divorced. Woo hoo! From there i will coordinate parties on both sides of the Atlantic to commemorate this historic event. My first divorce. And last! Can´t get divorced if you don´t get married. Yes, Virginia, the chicken does come before the egg.

Like a righteous inspiration overlooked in haste
Like a teardrop in the ocean, a diamond in the waste
Some world-views are spacious
And some are merely spaced
-Rush

It is strange to be back in Madrid. It was 23 C here yesterday! So i like the weather, but i´m always surprised by how stupid so many people are here. So it goes.

Summer Tour 2008
El Dude and the White Mothers on Acid will be hitting the road again this summer. Happy happy joy joy! We´re looking to land in NY and CT somewhere between July 7 and 9 with a definite stop in VT for Rage Weekend on the 23rd. Dates will continue throughout July and Aug, returning to Europe around the 18th, with dates in Ireland during the third week in August. The highlight of the setlist will be doing THE WHITE ALBUM in it´s entirety, backwards, on stilts. Special opening act: The Ghost of John Ritter.

Against the run of the mill
Static as it seems
We break the surface tension with our wild kinetic dreams
Curves and lines
Of grand designs...
-Rush

Denmarca

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
The hammer of the gods
Will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying:
Valhalla, I am coming!
-Led Zeppelin

2 de Marzo 11:34

Rainy and cold. What the hell am i doing? It's 18 degrees and sunny in Madrid. But the trip has been great. The Martian is well. We watched Atleti kill Barcalona 4-2 in a bar. We also met a young Canadian girl from Toronto in this really cool bar. SHe didn't like hockey and didn't know who Rush were!!!! What the hell are they teaching kids these days???

They also had a cool fireplace. The fire was almost out so i put a log on the fire. The place was huge and we sat a few rooms away closer to the bar. 2o minutes later i came back from the bathroom and it was kind of smokey. The cook and waitress were putting the fire out because it was windy and there was a lot of blow back. The entire place was filled with smoke. Oops. We drank up and left. No matter how i try not to- i always cause trouble.

Maria texted me on Friday. "Be a good boy or just be you." I never thought of the two as mutaully exclusive. But perchance it is true.

TV here is very strange. We just got done watching BONANAZA! Talk about old TV, with Danish subtitles, of course. Then Biathalon - wow! How nordic. And now Bundesliga football from Germany. Danish football shuts down during February until late March.

Time to get dressed and head back to Kobenhaven, eat lunch and fly home. Lastly happy birthday to Colin Tietjen, who is eight years old today. Wow!