Call of the Wild

I know that the heat goes on
-Asia

Actually, it´s Viernes the 21st

LaLa is in heat. She screams nonstop and is always throwing her ass in my face.

"Look, I only have sex with one person in this house. Emphasis on the word person, whatever you perverted felines may think."

Twice now i have either woken up to or walked in on Bichito mounting her, with this look on his face like now what? Help a brother out! Bichie´s eggs are soft boiled, meaning his huevos aren´t packing any heat.

"Can you score me some Viagra?" he meows.

"If i thought it would help I would." I tenderly explain the situation. "They chopped your balls off. Well not off, but you´re a turkey without any stuffing, if you catch my drift."

"Joder!!!!" he meows.

"Sorry man. It happens to all house cats. At least you got to have one litter with LaLa, which is where Guinness came from."

He runs off to the window to ponder this and life´s other mysteries, like when we´ll open a beer bottle so he´ll have a bottle cap to play football with.

Semana Santa
Holy week. Everyone is off on Jueves y Viernes. It´s the biggest holiday of the year. It´s so funny how all the biggest holidays are Catholic holidays but no one under 50 gives a shit about religion. Franco, like the God of the Old TestameNt, was a nasty fucker, so i think they´ve had just enough of both of them.

We saw this terrible movie called Jesus (that´s hey zeus to you) on TV with Jeremy Sisto as Jesus, who recently played the incestuous psychopath Billy on Six Feet Under (Dos Metros Baja here). Nice choice! Debra Messing as Mary Magdalene, Oi! ,and Gary Oldman as Pontius Pilate - seriously!

But after Jesus is resurrected and shows himself to a very disagreeable Thomas, he walks into the light and suddenly appears in jeans and a denim shirt in modern day Jerusalem. A bunch of children come running up to him and they all walk away together laughing. Seriously! It was so bad it was funny.

Home

I have a flat! I told Chema the story and he didn´t think it would be a problem. So we´ll give it a shot. I just need to leave the country before we go in May to renew my automatic 90 day visa. I left last month but you don´t get stamped in other EU countries (so i have no proof) and you get 90 days on your Visa. So i need to go to Morocco or some place non EU for a weekend. Actually, Ireland may work because they stamp there. Anyway, i need to take a little trip.

And i move in on Domingo!!!!! YEEEEEE HOOOOOOO! I will have Internet so the blog should be more regular with less mammoth entries. I shall be in touch!

And I don´t own the clothes I´m wearing,
And the road goes on forever,
And I´ve got one more silver dollar,
But I´m not gonna let them catch me, no
Not gonna let em catch the midnight rider.
-Allman Brothers

Camping

This is not America
-David Bowie

Well, things are a little nutty at casa de la Profesora. As you know already, La La is in heat. This has the other cats freaked out and Bichie pissed on the comforter, so now we just have a little blanket and no heat. And the blankets that were on sofa got pissed on by Guinness a few days earlier (her cats have discipline issues). And the propane people never came on Miercoles (which is how we get hot water and the burners on the stove to work) so we have been rationing hot water. But today is an impares day (odd number) so i get to shower. Woo hoo! If there´s any warm water yet. Sound Crazy?... just another day in exile.

La Profesora went to Guadalajara with her sister to go see family. She may or may not be back tonight. I may go out tonight, but at least for today it´s me and the Gatos and the laptop. I am 12,500 words into the new novel. Only 100,000 to go! Eesh. It´s a marathon process, that´s for sure.

The title has changed many times (if you´ve been playing at home) but is now called Buying New Soul, and i expect it to stay that way. I am excited about it, which sure fucking helps. Spanish Gangsters, a harsh look at modern day sex slavery, Ghosts from the past, Spanish Civil War history, Franco and ETA political intrigue, a crazy ex-wife, a strange American Expat, a young Californian self potrait artist, temptation in the desert, a talking scorpion named Juan Jo who wears a top hat and tuxedo and dispenses advice - and crucifixion!!!! Yee hoo! I think i´ll use that as the inside cover!

Let me flow into the ocean
Let me get back to the sea
Let me be stormy and let me be calm
Let the tide in, rush over me.

I am not the actor
This can't be the scene
But I am in the water,
As far as I can see...
-The Who