it came in through the bathroom window...

When the flames have their season
Will you hold to your reason?
Loaded down with your talents
Can you still keep your balance?
Can you live on a knife-edge?
-Emerson, Lake and Palmer

MADRID, Spain, AP: A new epidemic of golden beetles has Spanish authorities perplexed. These ravenous creatures, normally no more than an annoyance in their native northern African habitat, have been devouring Spanish crops in their entirety. The million dollar question is; how did these little buggers get all the way from Northern Africa? Spanish authorities are now investgating to see if it was some sort of Al Queda terrorist attack. President Jose Luis Zapatero has sworn to find those responsible and wishes to reinstate the death penalty for this crime, even though it has long since been banned by EU countries.

In other news -

It´s a holiday weekend in Madrid - Imagine! Mayo 1 is worker´s day or labor day. Mayo 2 is Madrid Day, the beginning of the revolt against Napoleon and French forces in 1808. Hooray!Weather should be nice so I´m not sure what I´ll be doing. Catch you on the flipside!

Back in the studio

I hope you like jamming, jamming. jamming
-Bob Marley


Well, I got to play the drums last night for the first time in 9 months! There's a studio nearby and Chema's friend, Alphonso, is a great blues guitarist. We jammed some bluesy fusion stuff and some Zep (rock n roll, heartbreaker). Another teacher i know, Carl, is a bassist and sings, so maybe we'll finally get a music project off the ground here. Madrid is in dire need of bands to play clubs. Anyway, it's good to be back in the groove. Primavera (spring) is here, which is wonderful, except for all the pollen. It was raining pollen last night!

April 23rd was Pat O'Neill's Birthday. Happy Birthday, Old Sport, wherever you are! I miss ye dearly, but i have enough good memories to last a lifetime!

Escape from Casablanca

You can check out any time you like
but you can never leave
-The Eagles

Sunday, April 20


So after i saw the giant mosque and shopped at the bizarre, i got a taxi to the airport. I wasn't in the mood for the scary train and wanted to be on time. There were only 6 people in line in front of me to check in and it took 30 minutes. Then they told me they didn't have me in the system.

"Well PUT me in the system!" I was burnt out at that point. My throat was starting to hurt and I had the sinking feeling that i was getting strep, just like when i was in Costa Rica.

"Sorry sir, you're not in here."

"Yes, I understand, but look at the bloody piece of paper."

She told me i had to go to Air Maroc. Her directions sucked (in French) and when i got there - the office is open and no one's there! I wanted ten minutes and then busted my way into the frequent travelers club.

They took forever to get to me. Now i have an hour and 5 minutes (They fucked me on the way in with 55 minutes to go). She's giving me the same run around. "Look, this is not my fault. I hate it here. This trip has been a nightmare and i want to go home! MAKE IT HAPPEN!"

Also going through my mind: i'll take hostages if i have to. I 'd rather go down in a hail of gun fire than stay here 5 minutes longer. I miss Spain!!! Get me home.

it's not my fault

Famous last words;

I site i used to book the trip was in Spanish. Given the frantic nature of booking the flight to Morocco after Russia fell through, a mistake occurred. I had been searching for my flight home in the summer. When i tried to book the flight to Casa the first time it didn't go thru. When i tried again, it reset to August 20th. After three sets of people looking at my ticket- they finally realized my return was Aug 20! Of course, it is illegal for me to be in Casa so long.

I had to buy another ticket for another $600. "Just fucking get me home." I told her.

So it was one expensive trip. But I got to Africa. And more importantly, i got back home. I am disputing all the charges with my credit card company. American Laura studies EU law and said i have a case against Iberia, so we'll see. Not to mention that the charges on my card do not correspond to the correct dates or amounts.

And of course, Casa is still with me as i take my antibiotic. This illness has been hard to shake. It really kicked the crap out of me.

So, that's the end of my tale, you suppose.

Nope. This is The Spanish Exile - a place where time and space meet in a martini shaker with absurdity and irony.

Last night was Sydney's 24 birthday. It was a kicking party. There was even a performance by a chello player who sang and a percussionist. It was all out on her sweet terazza. The whole gang was there. Every American in Madrid.

I got La Profesora a few scarves in Morocco. Lovely incredible colors: one blue, one purple and one red. She loves to wrap stuff around her neck because she always feels the cold there. I gave them to her at Syd's party and she loved them (boo yeah!).

She was wearing a cute little black tank top. Everything on La Profesora is LITTLE. She is so teeny tiny thin it's crazy. I long to feed her hot meat off the grill and fatten her up a bit.

digression; which reminds me, my belly is full of sweet sweet lamb chops i just cooked on the grill. All i had for seasoning was sea salt - but it was spot on!

Anyhoo, she says "what color should i wear?" I say purple or red. She puts the red one on. I say "hang on" and deftly pick a little gold beetle off of the scarf and blow it out the window (we were in Syd's room). She freaks because she hates bugs.

And then it hit me - what if that beetle came from Africa?

All i could think of was the episode where the Simpsons go to Australia:

Homer: Hey, look! Those frogs are eating all their crops.
[everyone starts laughing]
Lisa: Well, that's what happens when you introduce foreign species into
an ecosystem that can't handle them.
[everyone laughs more]

Bart had brought the frog into Australia from Springfield.

So...., I fully expect the Spanish ecosystem to collapse within the next twelve months, due to an infestation of ravenous golden beetles. They'll probably call it Plaga El Dude.

That's you. Always making friends!
-La Profesora

Like sand thru the hourglass...

I woke up on Sabado the 19^th and the sun was blinding like i was on the freaking equator. As the fog of sleep lifted it was loud as hell outside. Like a Moroccan Bazaar.

I had some very sweet and greasy flat bread and sweet mint tea for breakfast. It was delicious. I decided to go up to Mohammedia, about 50 km north, and halfway to the City of Rabat, which i think is the capital. This dude i met in the airport mentioned it to me.

FYI: Iberia is in terminal 4, which must be a few km farther than Terminals 1,2 and 3. Why would a Spanish Airline have the worst location in their home country? I don't have an answer for that.

Anyway, the guy came up to me and said; “I saw you telling that guy from Iberia off. Good for you. This is the worst airline ever. Never again!

He had immigrated to the US when he was three, but was coming back to visit family. He said Casablanca was a hell hole (his family was there was he was here). I asked him if there was a cool beach nearby, and he told me about Mohammedia. So I settled in and went to the Casa Port train station to get back on the scary train and found out the train had left at 12:30. It was 12:31 and the next one was at 14:00. I decided to get a taxi and it was a good move. The driver was nice as hell and told me a million things. He dropped me off at a nice restaurant at a little cove of a beach. I sat on the veranda, had some good Veal Tajine and a nice salad. And of course olives. They eat pickled white asparagus there, as well as here in Spain. It was in the salad. I don't think we have it in the USA. It REALLY looks a thin scrawny white penis. I love asparagus, so i just closed my eyes.

There was a concrete pitch to play football right on the beach. 10 kids drove up and played. It was fun. Good food, a cold Flag Beer and good food. The driver really hooked me up. Then I went exploring and that's where i saw the house that was number 107 (it's in one of the photos i posted), the number of our townhouse in college. Crazy!!!! The weather turned gray and the Atlantic was just battering the shoreline. When i've lived close to the water (Jamaica, Fairfield) it was always primarily calm water. This show of shear force was awesome. When Brahim later picked me up, he asked if I had gone swimming?

“Are you crazy man? Out there? No way! I'd be mashed against the rocks.”

Then i found a cool place to have a tea (some places don't serve beer) and got lucky as it started to rain. This place had crazy views, but it was too cloudy for the camera. They I hiked back to the restaurant and waited for Brahim.

When we got back to Casablanca I had him drop me off at a Hammam, which was a sauna. Then they gave you a scrub down and then a massage. It was awesome. It was all male (Islam sucks), but the guys were cool. Built. Some were hairy as osos (bears). I am so NOT gay, I didn't get any of that gene at all.

   Just let your head flop back and forward.    Your neck is a well cooked piece of asparagus.    -- Sadrodin Muraradad's Yoga Party, The Simpsons

There was a nice moment at the restaurant on Saturday afternoon. I was in the bathroom and went to wash my hands when i was done. There was an eight year old boy struggling to reach the faucet handle. He looked at me like, you´re big - little help bro! So of course i turned on the water for him. Then he couldn't reach the soap dispenser so he just held his hands under it while i pumped the soap it for him. He smiled as he left. I later heard him and his mom speaking Arabic. Amazing how sometimes it is so easy to communicate.

If you smile at me, I will understand 'Cause that is something everybody everywhere does in the same language. -Crosby, Stills and Nash

The situation with cabbies is much different. They just assume you speak French. I mean, I can speak English and Spanish (poorly, but I f@*king speak it!), both of which are spoken all over the world. But to assume everyone speaks French! That's so 1820s! Talk about a dead language!

Saturday night i went to a local place and had fish and watched Spanish football on Al Jezeera sports in the restaurant. Al Jezeera Sports - are you kidding me? The stats were in Arabic script. Then I went to this cool bar where they pull the curtain across the windows so you can´t be seen drinking, but they do have beer signs outside. It was jammed so i got put at this table with these gals. The one in her late 40´s spoke Spanish. Then we went to a place with belly dancers. The place was jammed! I later found out they were prostitutes (i suspected after the first hour) and the 40 something year old woman - Susanna was the pimp! I declined their services and went home, but i did buy the cute one a few drinks. She was sweet but drinking herself unconscious she was so nervous.

Oh, how i love them whores! -Janes Addiction

Sad, though, that there is such little opportunity in these countries. But she wasn´t a slave, just a newbie.

There are an estimated 23 million sex slaves around the world. Over double what was brought to America during the 300 years that African slavery was practiced in the US. The new novel has an arc on the subject. When will we wise up and just legalize prostitution? Let's make it safe for everyone involved. Allowing slaves to exist in 2008 is bonkers. It's stupid and senseless. And it perpetuates organized crime. Tax it. Build an art room in schools and basketball courts for kids. Take that money out of the pockets of criminals, and crooked cops, politicans and businessmen.

Domingo

I had breakfast downstairs and went to the bazaar, which was bedlam. People shouting and following me, speaking in English, full of desperation.”

“Come look in my shoe store.”

“I don't wear shoes anymore thanks. I wear sneakers to work.”

That dude followed me for a block. After that, for everyone who came up to me talking in English, i replied in Spanish, That lost them pretty fast. Then it was off to the Hassan II Mosque. It was gigantic, rising out of the sea. Very impressive.

And then it was time to go home.

One day I feel I'm on top of the world And the next it's falling in on me I can get back on I can get back on One day I feel I'm ahead of the wheel, And the next it's rolling over me I can get back on I can get back on -Rush

Moroccan Bizarre

“Mos Eisley spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.”

-Obi Wan Kenobi

Casablanca is a hell hole. 7 million people, the average of which makes under $3.20 US a day. This metropolis is loud and dirty. Cars, motorbikes and even mule carts all push for superiority in casa's busy streets. The cab drivers, who ride little red cars called petit taxi's (they must be some kind of electric hybrid) are insane. The merchants are aggressive and desperate. But I had fun anyway. Luckily a guy like me can have a lot of fun in a hellhole.

This is a dangerous place..
This is a dangerous place..
-King Crimson

Never fly Iberia airlines. Never fly Air Maroc. I didn't realize it was Air Maroc, OPERATED by Iberia. They so don't give a shit. I had ALREADY sworn to never fly Iberia again.

I left a bit later than i wanted, but was okay. Then the Metro had unreal delays. I got there in enough time but there was a queue of 50 people. I was only checking a small bag cuz it had liquid – shampoo and crap and would have dumped it. I wasted precious time asking the Iberia people walking around to help me. The lady told me there were no machines with a way to get a ticket. The line just was not moving. I asked them to put me to the front of the line and this guy said, “you can ask people.”

“Can you help?”

“No.” And he walked away. So here i am on line “Paso? Paso, por favor? Tengo una vuelta a diez y media!”

It took a while to get through the line. When i got there they said it was two late even though there was over 50 minutes. Lots of us missed the flight and then they charged me like $600 US for a new ticket. One Guy paid $300 and he was late cuz this was his second flight and the first one was light. I got the last ticket. They were so unhelpful it was maddening.

I would ask someone and they'd send me one way, and then send me back the other way again. Then they told me I had to go to Air Maroc. No one knew where that was, til i found out they don't have an office there, so i had to call, which was no help. No help at all. When I finally got the last ticket for grand larceny, i took it to the check out and it didn't work. This lady with Princess Leia -esque pigtails had to leave the desk and was gone 30 minutes. I got through just in time to catch the next plane which was 2.5 hours after the first one! Of course it took off late.

The plane had 8 babies who didn't stopped crying (pobrecitos!) until we took off. Odd that they sleep once they are off the ground. The problem was the plane was on the runway for over an hour.

When we took off, we hit crazy turbulence (we had been delayed because of storms). I had no one next to me, even though they said i got the last ticket, and this cute blonde girl across the way looked at me like she was going to pee herself. I put my hands out in a gesture of it will be okay. I talked to her later. She was from Slovenia. A city with 300,00 people. The capital. Small country.

I got to the airport and missed the hourly train because I didn't have any Dirhams, yet – the currency.

The train was scary. Super old. It was like a bad Agatha Christie book. No one knew where the hostel was, but when i finally got there it was clean and I even had a bathroom in my room, which i did not expect.

Here's some notes i took -

Friday:

• the napkins are like what we'd use as scrap paper – it's that nonporous

• 7.8 Dh to 1$, 11.2Dh to 1 Euro

• Morocco is one of the most liberal Muslim countries, so there were women in various degrees of of Mummification as far as covering themselves up, like Muslim women do

• lots of palm tree

• I had great fish soup in a curry base for dinner, and shrimp. The waiter was friendly as hell.

• The restaurant was really dark (i could not read). This 50ish woman came in wearing sunglasses and rosary beads around her neck. They are liberal about Islam, but rosary beads – around your neck? Why not just drop your drawers and poo on the table! Talk about insensitive.

• All the bars were sausage festivals – all guys drinking. But they give you more tapas than the Spanish. I ate 300 olives while i was there of all colors, shape and size, most all delicious. But this one place brought out fried fish about 8 inches long with the head removed. It was good.

• Then I ended up the night at the Hyatt – in this really sheik nightclub, with videos on curtains and stuff, but it was lame, so i went home and got some well needed rest. It was a cool day, after the zaniness in the airport.

Well, I need to sleep. I will tell the rest of my tale tomorrow. It appears Africa is still with me as I must have picked up strep throat along the way. I went to the doctor today. But, at least it's an easy cure and not something exotic – like amoebas, parasites, heebie jeebies, jungle fever or some voodoo where someone is jabbing needles into the throat of a bamboo doll with a Caps jersey on. I wanted Africa – i got Africa. I ask no quarter and give none in return. How would one know the dizzying highs without the terrifying lows?

Come on, Marge, I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls. I'm sick of eating hoagies. I want a grinder, a sub, a foot-long hero ... I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live? Won't you please?!
-Homer Simpson

the sheltering sky

Of course. Dirka Dirkastan! I should have known!
-Spottswood, Team America

i am alive! Just wanted to let you know; Can t say much more because this french keyboard was spawned in hell! Had some delicious fish soup and gambas last night and then tooled around trying to figure out where i am when street names are in arabic! the flight out was apocalyptic - never fly IBERIA EVER. more qbout thqt next ti,e _ off to the beqch! beach! fucking keyboqrd _ you need to hit ctrl just to type q number; and i think the a is in a different place or the q is set too high;

screw it. WHEN IN MOROCCCO.....


I hear their passionate music
Read the words that touch my heart
I gaze at their feverish pictures
The secrets that set them apart
-Rush

Bon Voyage

We're on the Road to Nowhere
-Talking Heads


Getting my stuff together for Casablanca. That means White House. What the hell? Didn't i just leave that city with the White House? The plan was to get as far away from Shrubby as possible!!!

listening to:

Snakes and Arrows Live - Rush
They can't all be zingers - Primus
No Reason to Cry - Eric Clapton
Songlines - Derek Trucks
Great Moments Live - BB King
Back to Black - Amy Winehouse
Fantasia - Asia
Night for Baku - Djam Karet
Gordian Knot - Gordian Knot

Looks like it will be rainy. Possibility of hitting a beach on Sabado. I have a book with key phrases in Arabic, but i think Spanish is kind of widely spoken. English would be nice!!!! But i can get bye on mi Espanol. Hell yeah!!!! I guess they speak French too.

The closest I ever came to Morocco was at Epcot with Mum. We ate in a Moroccan restaurant.

I want my monkey paw!!!!!
-El Dude

Logistics

What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
-Captain Louis Renault, Casablanca

Cleaning. Then packing. I leave early on Fri morn, I guess about 8am from the flat. Nice day today- like 21 C. That;s 70 F. Looks like it will be mid - 60's and maybe rainy in Casablanca, which sucks, but this is a trip of necessity. I'd like to sit on the beach and read, but drinking beer with camel tenders is fine too. I mean, when in Africa...

I got a book on Morocco today at Casa Del Libro - in freaking English. Talk about lucky. Que Suerte!

The country is mostly Muslim but you can drink (woo hoo!). I think Casa, as they call it, is touristy. I know it's the economic center of the country. I want to buy an evil's monkey paw!!!!

Sweet Jamaican pipe dreams
Golden Acapulco nights
Then Morocco, and the East
Fly by morning light
-Rush

Getafe plays Valencia tonight in the Copa Del Rey final at 10pm. La Profesora said people in Geta are nuts today. They hope to make up for that spine-severing loss to Bayern. It was tragic.

Okay! Less writing, more cleaning and packing!!!!


No I'm never gonna do it without the fez on...oh no
-Steely Dan

Play it again dude

I gave you a brand new ford
and you said "i want a Cadillac"
I bought you a ten dollar dinner
and you said "thanks for the snack"!
I let you live in my penthouse
you said it was just a shack!
I gave you seven children
and now you wanna to give 'em back!
-BB King

Fucking fucking Lunes!


i'm getting to old for this shit. First, i woke up to no power here. It was a miracle I woke up at 7:15 in time for work. But that was the first and last one of the day.

Okay, here's the rub. As I admitted before, once and only once, i am an international man of mystery. A spook. A spy. Double 00107.

So i had to book two plane tickets to throw the enemy off. One to Moscow. One to Morocco. So i am going to Casablanca on Viernes.

Sounds so cool, eh?

Now here's the real story;

The Martian called last Jueves. Texted me actually, when Getafe went up 1-0 on Bayern Munich, a perpetual football powerhouse, in the UEFA Cup. This David is vs. Goliath, Woody Allen vs. Andre the Giant, Tatoo vs. Mr. Rourke, Warren Sapp vs. Mary Lou retton! I texted back saying i was going to Moscow. He said he 'd meet me there. I was like “AWESOME!”


The Martian was watching the game on TV because Ladrup is the coach of a Getafe, a Danish football legend (which explains why we saw a Getafe jersey in a Copenhagen bar. Bayern tied it up in the 89th minute! It was 2-2 on aggregate which meant extra time. In the first ten minutos, Getafe scored not one but two goals! At around the 22nd minute, Getafe made a blunder and allowed a goal. Bayern attacked and attacked. They just kept coming like the Luffwafte! And Luca Toni, my favorite player who ever played for Palermo, headed a ball past the keeper the last play of the game. It was 3-3 on aggregate but Bayern had more away goals and advanced. The crowd at Alonzo Perez Collesium in Getafe was stunned. As was i. As was La Profesora. It was horrible.


You know how that rabbit feels
Going under your speeding wheels
Bright images flashing by
Like windshields towards a fly
Frozen in the fatal climb -- but the wheels of time --
Just pass you by...

Wheels can take you around
Wheels can cut you down
We can go from boom to bust
From dreams to a bowl of dust
We can fall from rockets' red glare
Down to "Brother can you spare --"
Another war -- another waste land --
And another lost generation...

-Rush



The Martian called me this morning at 8:30 AM. It appears we need fucking visas to get into Russia, which is impossible to get so soon. I researched on the web and saw nothing about this before i booked it. Most countries give you 90 days on a US passport. So much for capitalism! I was ready to spend a ton of cash on vodka and whores, but now it will never happen. Their loss. But my airfare seems to be kind of non refundable – which sucks. Well....fuck it. Better than getting to Russia and being a long haired American without an entry visa and being interrogated by the KGB!!!


Marge, if you're going to get so mad every time i do something stupid then i guess i'm just going to have to stop doing stupid things!

-Homer Simpson



But i need to re-enter Spain. And i already cleared the whole weekend of work. So I sucked it up and i am going to Casablanca. Seriously. Africa, here i come!


So that's the real scoop. But I tell chicks the spy rap cuz it gets them hot!


Bite my shiny metal ass!

-Bender, Futurama


Martes 22:15


Well, the good news is that for 75E i could change my trip, so Aug 28th i go to Moscow. I had to go to the same city. So maybe i will prime the economic pump a bit. I need to get my visa for for Russia in the USA, which i can get while i'm on holiday (dates SOON to be confirmed!).


So, it all works out in the end. I don't get ganged probed by the KGB but still go to Russia. And get to spend this weekend on the beach in Africa. Que bien!


I am listening to Billy Cobham's Spectrum. If you don't have it, for fuck sakes, just go buy it tomorrow! Billy Cobham on drums, Tommy Bolin on guitar, Jan Hammer on keyboards. If you don't like it i'll wire you the money. Seriously.


Well, that's all the news that's fit to print. See you in hell!


Yesterday I woke up sucking a lemon
Yesterday I woke up sucking a lemon
Yesterday I woke up sucking a lemon
Yesterday I woke up sucking a lemon

Everything, everything, everything..
In its right place
In its right place
Right place

-Radiohead

reprint

annie y fripp


Here's the pic that didn't stick. I love how Annie's hand disappears into fripps fur! Adorable.

Done and done!
-Homer Simpson

14:36 Doming0

Waddup Ganstas! Just sent off my taxes – yeah!!!

I worked intensives on both Viernes and Sabado. Viernes I took a lady from Dinner's Club to the Reina Sophia Museum and saw the Picasso Exhibit again. We only saw one floor out of four it's so massive! We basically just talked in a Starbuck's for two hours and then went to the museum. Now that's what i call a cushy gig! You just accompany them and talk in English. It's kind of like being a call girl without a big mess at the end.

Cool here, but sunny. The torrential rains have subsided for now, but Madrid needs the agua. But the sun is so intense! The flowers on the terazza take a beating if they don't get a little love every day.

don't we all?

the future

(Annie, who will be one year old on Viernes, pets Fripp)

Martes 11:31

Let's tell the future
Let's see how it's been done.
By numbers. by mirrors. by water.
By dots made at random on paper.


By salt. by dice.
By meal. by mice.
By dough of cakes.
By sacrificial fire.


By fountains. by fishes.
Writing in ashes.
Birds. herbs.
Smoke from the altar.
-Suzanne Vega

I have watched no NHL hockey this year, outside of a glorious 2 week period at New Years, but I predict San Jose over Washington in the Stanley Cup Final. C-A-P-S, CAPS CAPS CAPS!!!! I guess they should have changed back to the red uniforms years ago.

Did you know? - That the last time the Caps had new uniforms (white and blue with the eagle) in '97 – '98, they made the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time in history by finding holes in Dominik Hasek and the stingy Buffalo Sabres defense. Unfortunately they were dismantled, brick by brick, by the mighty Redwings in four straight games.

Other predictions:

• Obama becomes president

• Savvy marketers for the Olympics and government officials seek to assuage the stemming tide of bad publicity by suddenly denying that Tibet exists. Bejiing issues new maps to school children that simple have a black spot where Tibet should be. They explain it as a new hole in the ozone layer.

• Hillary Clinton, unable to understand how she ever lost to Obama, winds up spending the rest of her days in a Brooklyn opium den, where of all people, she runs into and befriends Monica Lewinsky.

• Coca Cola, in an effort to reach consumers and form habits at an even younger age, begins to make baby formula that has only half the caffeine of regular coke.

• Harrison Ford runs for president in 2012

• Calista Flockhart becomes president in 2024
  

• The dormant file the CIA has on me is meticulously re-examined after word reaches them of my trip to Russia

Here comes the sun out onto the terrace!

Note to self: Do not get candle wax on your good jeans. It's ball buster to get out.

Miercoles 10:15

Jerry Lewis meets CS Lewis

I showed the Narnia movie to one c;lass on Monday. Nuria, who has a pretty low level, said, “ahh, the Lion, the Bitch and the Wardrobe.

“Not quite,” I said. “Bruja (witch), not puta.”

I am not the actor

this can't be the scene

but i am in the water

as far as i can see

-The Who

I find it so easy to believe that i am not really in Madrid but on some Hollywood set. I have always been suspect of this when i travel, ever since i was a kid. What if they put you on the plane and fly you around in circles? It's all an elaborate ruse and then they just take you to a different terminal when you “land?” I guess I was really influenced by the movie “Capricorn One, " as a youth where they faked a mission to Mars. But then the capsule disintegrates on re-entry and the Feds need to kill the astronauts who are really in a TV studio. OJ Simpson is the only one who survives and arrives at his own funeral where there is an eternal flame. If only they had got him! It would have spared two lives and the tax payers of California!

I think i've painted myself into a corner here. Time to quit while i'm behind.

And i quote....

Well, I got a comment a few weeks ago from an 18 year old, Dizzy Lizzy. How she found my blog, i'll never know. She wrote:

“It appears you really like quotes. Do you use them when you speak?”

My response was as follows;

“O Eternal Bitch!”
-Homer, the Illiad (so as not to be confused with Homer Simpson)

I suppose this is an attempt at that new craze they call sarcasm. But the answer is yes. All the time.

You're such a stupid girl
-Neil Young

Actually, i couldn't find out how to send it to her. But I had it all ready, dammit. Stupid Internet.

Plague

I have seen so many blind people and folks with broken arms today. It's an epidemic.

In case anyone should need it, my new address is

5 Calle Urgel
Atico
Madrid, Spain
28019

Please send porn, music, firearms, antidepressants, socks and Montreal steak seasoning! Not necessarily in that order.

20:38

It just rained cats and frogs here. That NEVER happens. We are in drought so we really need the water. So that's good. The problem is things are so dry that streets became rivers in no time and I'm sure a lot of it was lost. That's bad.

Comrade

I booked my hostel – 25 E a day. Can't beat that! Moscow on the cheap. This way I can spend my money on vodka and whores and souvenirs! I'm staying at the Yellow Blue Bus Hostel in Moscow. I'm a bit colorblind, but isn't that a green bus? I hope it's one of those with all the naked college chicks, sans ax murderers.

This whole trip seems surreal. I've always wanted to go to Moscow ever since i studied Soviet history at Fairfield with that senile old coot – what the hell was his name? Started with a B. I remember once he mixed up dates on the syllabus. I had missed the last class and walked into a Soviet History test blind. Talk about a nightmare. How I got a C+ is anyone's guess. But it didn't really make a difference in my life that i can see.

Dinner: California Curry Chicken (Over Basmati rice with artichokes). Not bad. But i'm full already – i ate so much chicken while waiting a light year for the rice. I'm getting used to these crazy electric burners. Haven't had them since i lived in the Townhouses at college.

Listening to: Les Claypool's Flying Frog Brigade Live. Dinner music for affable schizophrenics.

I had six scheduled classes today. I taught four and got paid for five. I can live with that.

Happy Fucking Lunes people!

There was a time
-Mr. GoodCat, Lucky Number Slevin

Toin Coss

Viernes 23:14

City in my head -
Utopia!
Todd Rundgren's Utopia

A Friday night and i am blogging. All i want to do is chill and watch a movie. Tio (uncle, slang for 'Man'), it sucks to get old.

Shrimp, asparagus and ajo (garlic) stir fry for dinner. Yum!

I did some more of my taxes too. Almost done. Send it off on Domingo.

La Profesora now seems to have some throat illness after already being sick for two weeks. Eek. What a drag.

Not sure what's on tap tomorrow. More nice weather – 23 -24 C, Like 75F. Sunday at 17:00 is the Atleti game. I am so close to the stadium.

Still getting organized, but it will only be two weeks on Domingo. I like it here.

I contacted my old friend Jamey in South Korea. He is still there. I have to look at that as a possible next stop. I might just roll a die to see where i go next. 1 or 2 South Korea, 3 or 4 Japan, 5 or 6 Buenos Aires.

It might work. I decided to move out of my last flat on a toin coss (coin toss). I said “heads i stay” and up came tails and Don Quixote. That seems to have worked out. Time will tell. Life is a mixture of making the best decision you can with the evidence at hand - and random chance. I can live with that. What choice do i have?

Sabado 2:13

i just watched SUPER BAD. Hysterical. Great beyond great.

14:05

The Carolina Hurricanes lost. If The Washington Capitals get 1 point tonight vs. florida, they win the South Least division and make the playoffs – yeah!!!! And they stick it to Carolina (die Hurricanes die!), as they were once my beloved Whalers.

21C or 70F. Had ajo gambas on the terraza. Que buenissimo!

Fearlessly the idiot faced the crowd...smiling.
-Pink Floyd

From El Dude with Love...

All our past times should be forgotten.
All our past times should be erased.
I don't care how much it costs;
'Cause I don't count the loss
As long as I can see your face again.
-Eric Clapton

La Profesora is going through a hard time. Pobrecita! She's been mega sick, maybe is sick again, and just feels like the world is crashing in on her. We all know how that feels.

I start a new class tomorrow, which allows me to drop the class with the kids all the way south outside of Madrid in Rivas that has become unprofitable from a time standpoint. So now Lunes, Martes, y Jueves I work late and Miercoles I finish at 15:30. Yeah! And Viernes is just one class from 8:15 – 9:45.

You know gray is my favorite color
I felt so symbolic yesterday
If I knew Picasso
I would buy myself a gray guitar and play
-Counting Crows

So today was my first short Miercoles and went to see the traveling Picasso exhibit at the Reina Sophia in Atoche on the way to seeing La Profesora. It was outrageous! It was overwhelming there were so many pieces. More Picasso than you could shake your schlong at! It was fantastic. From early stuff up to his death. GUERNICA is always on display there, but damn is that thing huge! It was a thrill. I will have to go back before 5 de Mayo. It was maybe the best art exhibition i have ever seen.

It was an April morning when they told us we should go
As I turn to you, you smiled at me
How could we say no?
-Led Zeppelin

As ridiculous as it sounds, i am going to Moscow for the weekend on Abril 17^th. The trip is precipitated by being a Visa Exile. I need to re-enter Spain so that i am legal when i sign the contract for my flat in May (you get 90 days on a US Visa). I was just in Denmark, but EU countries don't stamp each other. So i had to go somewhere non-EU, and the price was right, so Moscow here i come! I will stay in a hostel to keep expenses down. I am sure it will be an adventure, if nothing else. I'll see if i can find another lunatic to join me, but if not i will go the weekend alone. It's a five hour trip and they are 2 hours ahead of Spain. So I fly on Jueves at 23:45 and arrive at 6:45 on Viernes. I get back on Domingo about 21:30. Weekend in Moscow. Woo hoo!

One could do worse than to be a swinger of birches
-Robert Frost

For the Birds

Now the crowd breaks and young boy appears
Looks the old man in the eye
As he spreads his wings and shouts at the crowd
“In the name of God my father I fly!”
-Iron Maiden

Chema turned the heat off last night – i thought i was going to freeze to death. This place is a third world country. They all turn off the heat at night – or have no heat at all - that's why they spit up blood!

Tonight it's just me. i had the heat on before – which was nice. It's 65 during the day and 45 at night. But it's been windier than Rush Limbaugh and i can't get the pilot light lit. We're in the attic flat. But that's okay – because I bought a heavy comforter tonight.

“Plumas (feathers)?” I said.

“Artificial Plumas,” the Senora said, which is fine because real feathers aren't the best thing for me anyway.

Then it hit me. How do you do that? Feathers naturally keep a bird's body heat in. Maria has one because she has no heat in the casa. It's actually warmer to wear boxers than sweat pants because the feathers kick back more heat. How do you do that artificially? Do they have artificial birds in the Canary Islands that grow artificial feathers? I mean, what gives? Someone call Sesame Street! Big Bird may be back on smack again and desperate for cash!

But I am toasty. So i guess that's all that matters.