For the Birds

Now the crowd breaks and young boy appears
Looks the old man in the eye
As he spreads his wings and shouts at the crowd
“In the name of God my father I fly!”
-Iron Maiden

Chema turned the heat off last night – i thought i was going to freeze to death. This place is a third world country. They all turn off the heat at night – or have no heat at all - that's why they spit up blood!

Tonight it's just me. i had the heat on before – which was nice. It's 65 during the day and 45 at night. But it's been windier than Rush Limbaugh and i can't get the pilot light lit. We're in the attic flat. But that's okay – because I bought a heavy comforter tonight.

“Plumas (feathers)?” I said.

“Artificial Plumas,” the Senora said, which is fine because real feathers aren't the best thing for me anyway.

Then it hit me. How do you do that? Feathers naturally keep a bird's body heat in. Maria has one because she has no heat in the casa. It's actually warmer to wear boxers than sweat pants because the feathers kick back more heat. How do you do that artificially? Do they have artificial birds in the Canary Islands that grow artificial feathers? I mean, what gives? Someone call Sesame Street! Big Bird may be back on smack again and desperate for cash!

But I am toasty. So i guess that's all that matters.