but you can never leave
-The Eagles
Sunday, April 20
So after i saw the giant mosque and shopped at the bizarre, i got a taxi to the airport. I wasn't in the mood for the scary train and wanted to be on time. There were only 6 people in line in front of me to check in and it took 30 minutes. Then they told me they didn't have me in the system.
"Well PUT me in the system!" I was burnt out at that point. My throat was starting to hurt and I had the sinking feeling that i was getting strep, just like when i was in Costa Rica.
"Sorry sir, you're not in here."
"Yes, I understand, but look at the bloody piece of paper."
She told me i had to go to Air Maroc. Her directions sucked (in French) and when i got there - the office is open and no one's there! I wanted ten minutes and then busted my way into the frequent travelers club.
They took forever to get to me. Now i have an hour and 5 minutes (They fucked me on the way in with 55 minutes to go). She's giving me the same run around. "Look, this is not my fault. I hate it here. This trip has been a nightmare and i want to go home! MAKE IT HAPPEN!"
Also going through my mind: i'll take hostages if i have to. I 'd rather go down in a hail of gun fire than stay here 5 minutes longer. I miss Spain!!! Get me home.
it's not my fault
Famous last words;
I site i used to book the trip was in Spanish. Given the frantic nature of booking the flight to Morocco after Russia fell through, a mistake occurred. I had been searching for my flight home in the summer. When i tried to book the flight to Casa the first time it didn't go thru. When i tried again, it reset to August 20th. After three sets of people looking at my ticket- they finally realized my return was Aug 20! Of course, it is illegal for me to be in Casa so long.
I had to buy another ticket for another $600. "Just fucking get me home." I told her.
So it was one expensive trip. But I got to Africa. And more importantly, i got back home. I am disputing all the charges with my credit card company. American Laura studies EU law and said i have a case against Iberia, so we'll see. Not to mention that the charges on my card do not correspond to the correct dates or amounts.
And of course, Casa is still with me as i take my antibiotic. This illness has been hard to shake. It really kicked the crap out of me.
So, that's the end of my tale, you suppose.
Nope. This is The Spanish Exile - a place where time and space meet in a martini shaker with absurdity and irony.
Last night was Sydney's 24 birthday. It was a kicking party. There was even a performance by a chello player who sang and a percussionist. It was all out on her sweet terazza. The whole gang was there. Every American in Madrid.
I got La Profesora a few scarves in Morocco. Lovely incredible colors: one blue, one purple and one red. She loves to wrap stuff around her neck because she always feels the cold there. I gave them to her at Syd's party and she loved them (boo yeah!).
She was wearing a cute little black tank top. Everything on La Profesora is LITTLE. She is so teeny tiny thin it's crazy. I long to feed her hot meat off the grill and fatten her up a bit.
digression; which reminds me, my belly is full of sweet sweet lamb chops i just cooked on the grill. All i had for seasoning was sea salt - but it was spot on!
Anyhoo, she says "what color should i wear?" I say purple or red. She puts the red one on. I say "hang on" and deftly pick a little gold beetle off of the scarf and blow it out the window (we were in Syd's room). She freaks because she hates bugs.
And then it hit me - what if that beetle came from Africa?
All i could think of was the episode where the Simpsons go to Australia:
Homer: Hey, look! Those frogs are eating all their crops.
[everyone starts laughing]
Lisa: Well, that's what happens when you introduce foreign species into
an ecosystem that can't handle them.
[everyone laughs more]
Bart had brought the frog into Australia from Springfield.
So...., I fully expect the Spanish ecosystem to collapse within the next twelve months, due to an infestation of ravenous golden beetles. They'll probably call it Plaga El Dude.
That's you. Always making friends!
-La Profesora
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