Moving On

Prayers for ugly children

we can't all be rock stars
most get much less
but some get the ass end
right up until death

some get great brains
some get great bods
some get shit on a stick
and become lightning rods

you can pray for ugly children
for all the difference it makes
some kids eat worm sandwiches
some get chocolate cake

you can pray for ugly children
from duckling to swan
you can give them a hug
and say “keep keeping on”

buck teeth, unibrow
kick a little ass
lazy eye, girl mustache
smoke a little grass

wooden leg, pinhead
each your lunch alone
butt munch, ass of lead
Friday night at home

Prayers for ugly children
just another mundane song
Prayers for ugly children
to keep keeping on

Lazy eye – pizza face
just get out of bed
snaggle tooth – pointy ears
bullet through the head

pencil dick, dough boy
breath smells like crud
Dumb ass, Nice pants!
Where's the fucking flood?

you can pray for ugly children
for all the difference it makes
some kids eat worm sandwiches
some get chocolate cake

Prayers for ugly children
just another mundane song
Prayers for ugly children
to keep keeping on

My Sixth Toe

my sixth toe
knows which way to go

my sixth toe
knows which way to go

left or right
up or down
keep my feet
on the ground

through the looking glass
or on the phone
step by step
lead me home

my sixth toe
knows which way to go

my sixth toe
knows which way to go

Doctors thought me a mystery
Nuns said i was the devil
it really doesn't mean shit to me
just keep the sidewalk level

my sixth toe
knows which way to go

my sixth toe
knows which way to go

i'm not some circus freak
nor some tabloid front page
maybe my evolution's
just in a different stage

you can pray for ugly children
for all the difference it makes
some kids eat worm sandwiches
some get chocolate cakes

but my sixth toe
knows which way to go

but my sixth toe
knows which way to go

maybe my evolution's
just in a different stage

maybe my evolution's
just in a different stage

but my sixth toe
always knows which way to go

but my sixth toe
always knows which way to go

Well, that's the title track and the final track from the new album of the new band with no name yet.

Only 6 proposed tracks. We're supposed to jam soon. We shall see what happens. But Alphonso's native language is Spanish so i don't know how he's gonna sing all of the difficult words. He's not fluent in English. Jim does it for the Platypus, but he's the chair of the English Department at Wilton HS!

Cool and unseasonably rainy. I find it a nice break before the inferno of the summer.

Listening to:

Tales of a Librarian – Tori Amos

The Doors – The Doors

Bob Marley – Legend

Talking Heads – Remain in Light

Rush – Hemispheres

Ani DiFranco – Little Plastic Castle

Joe Satriani – Dr. Satchafunkilis and the Musterion of Rock

Yes – Relayer

*

I have a crush on the pharmacist! She's got light brown hair and the cutest face. It's hard to tell about her bod under that white coat, but she looks like she's got it all going on. When I first met her a few months ago, she asked where i was from. Now we make small talk and she always give us me free coffee mints sin azucar (sugarless)when i see her. I have to look and see if she has a ring next time i go. Hmmm, i guess i could buy some multi-vitamins, even though i already have enough to last until July. How great would that be to date a pharmacist? Think of the perks! Plus, she knows my scripts already so there's no need to have that awkward conversation; I should probably tell you i'm kind of batshit!

*

Well I've read your horoscope
and now i've given up all hope
and i don't really love you anymore
-Magnetic Fields

I have now officially moved on with La Profesora. Only took 3 weeks! I am getting to be a pro at this getting over women thing.

As random chance would have it, i saw Cousin Sydney in the Metro today. She was on her way to the US for a wedding, in the great state of Texas. We were together for a few stops and she asked about La Profesora. I told her the scoop.

“Wow, you seem really well adjusted,” she said.

Need this in writing, i shall. Just in case the Seester ever tries to have me committed. Again.

Que?

The song is over
It's all behind me
I should have known it
She tried to find me

Our love is over
They're all ahead now
I've got to learn it
I've got to sing out
-The Who

Well, it was nice to see La Profesora. Nothing was solved, course. I am no closer to enlightenment on this issue. What else is new? We'll see. Maybe we'll be friends or maybe we'll be lovers again or maybe i'll soon see her for the last time ever.

Life is like a beanstalk, isn't it?

That said, the students have done very well on their tests thus far, which is always good news as the students aren't usually held very accountable. A lot of them have really improved and remember the little tricks I've taught them for dealing with bitchy stuff like some or any, do vs. make, much or many, well vs. good. It's been a really fun experience for me, as i believe it has for the students. They really are a good bunch this year. Not the like the thankless job at Banesto last year with all of those start from scratch beginners. I walked in the first day, waved and said hello. They immediately started talking in Spanish and asking 'What did he say?"

Fucking hell. Use your brain would you? What could i possibly have said for the first time they'd laid eyes on me other than HELLO?

Whew! Much better this year.

And things could always be worse. I could be John Terry, captain of Chelsea, who missed the winning penalty kick in the Champions League Final. I could be Willie Randolph. I could be George Bush's brain. What a lonely empty warehouse that must be.

* * *

NOTE: 1/2 price sale on THE SPANISH EXILE, SEASON THREE T-Shirts at the official EL DUDE SHOP!!! We still have them in hot pink and battleship gray.

Date with Fate

You will be the Captain
and i shall draw the chart
sailing into destiny...
-Rush

Well, it's 17:00 on Domingo. Last night I barbecued gambas and asparagus on the grill and then Laura and I went out to a bar we like. Dinner was delicious and she had a killer white wine from when she went to the Rioja wine region. It was a blast. It's pretty cool that we were going through the same shit at the same time so we could be there for each other. She is equally a complete lunatic and a fantastic friend rolled into a tiny little Texas burrito.

But at 18:30 i'll meet La Profesora at a Mexican restaurant in Cueca. So we'll see what that's like. She sounds a wreck. A human disaster dealt by her own hand. Don't we all suffer enough without having to inflict more pain on ourselves? So many things i can't understand in this crazy world. So many things.

People here are always tell me i'm unusual. For this i am thankful.

I can't be trusted
They're saying I can't be true
But I only wanted more than I knew
-Liz Phair

Garage Door to the Underworld

You live in a church
Where you sleep with voodoo dolls
And you won't give up the search
For the ghosts in the halls
You wear sandals in the snow
And a smile that won't wash away
Can you look out the window
Without your shadow getting in the way?
You're so beautiful
With an edge and charm
but so careful
When I'm in your arms
Cause you're working
Building a mystery
-Sara McLaughlin

Sabado!

Taught from 9-13:00. It went very well. There's a few things i need to tweek in the course, but not bad for a first roll of the dice. It sounded so impressive - i was like who the fuck wrote this?

Candidly, a big part of grad school was learning the fancy buzz words that get a CEO's panties in a knot (Many CEO's, not just the women, wear panties. They like to be submissive in their sex lives because they have to be so aggressive in their jobs).

Then I took Kristen out to comida at the great Italian restaurant on Calle Horteleza in Cheuca. The waiter's shirt said FUCK DEEP, FIERY SEX. Then he forgot to place our order.

"Fiery sex?" i said. "Is that like when you have the clap? If sex burns, there's a problem."

Then we went to the Reina Sophia to see the permanent collection. Mama mia! Miro, Dali and of course the Picasso's that are there permanently, like Guernica. It was really cool.

Now i am back at home wondering what i'm going to do this evening. We shall see. Very cool today (18). Life is good.

*

The following story is true. And do please remember; if Woody had gone straight to the police, none of this would have happened.

I talked to La Profesora yesterday and she was in the hospital Miercoles noche! It appeared she had an infection, didn't treat it, and the infection got into her bloodstream. So she went to the hospital and now is on some mega-antibiotics. Are you kidding me? You've got to take better care of yourself than that.

"You can sure pick crazy women, Pops." Kristen said.

Call it a gift, I guess.

the seam splits

To live between a rock and a hard place
In between time
Cruising in prime time
Soaking up the cathode rays

To live between the wars in our time
Living in real time
Holding the good time
Holding on to yesterdays
-Rush

Okay...lets stay on the theme of the world ending. My buddy David, who's girlfriend; aka Titts Magee, who has the most lovely surgically enhanced rack imaginable, had her birthday party last Sabado. It all went swimmingly, except for the part where someone mentioned Facebook. Jokingly he said, "I lost my first wife to Facebook. Titts MaGee punched him in the face and split his lip so bad he asked me "Duh yuh tink i need stitches man?" He's Irish.

"Ya fucking cunt!" I said. "Snap out of it man! Ya don't need no sodding stitches!"

He and Titts are Man U fans, which is unfortunate. We saw them on Miercoles after the Champions League Final, and he asked her to marry him.

It's just so chilling to see folks making the mistakes that may haunt them the rest of their lives.

Or maybe they'll be wonderful together.

*

La Profesora wound up in the hospital because she had some kind of infection she didn't treat and it got into her bloodstream. I found out today. I heard from her and she's out now. Crazy bitch!

Perchance I am better off without her. She's really awesome, but she's a train wreck waiting to hit a cow pasture.

*

So i just keep on moving on. Run rabbit run.

Please tell me ya at least ad lunch on 'em man!
-El Dude to David, About Titts Magee's Rack

Two Weeks

In the darkness of the night, only occasionally relieved by glimpses of Nirvana as seen through other people's windows, wallowing in a morass of self-despair made only more painful by the knowledge that all I am is of my own making ...
When everything around me, even the kitchen ceiling, has collapsed and crumbled without warning. And I am left, standing alive and well, looking up and wondering why and wherefore.
At a time like this, which exists maybe only for me, but is nonetheless real, if I can communicate, and in the telling and the bearing of my soul anything is gained, even though the words which I use are pretentious and make you cringe with embarrassment, let me remind you of the pilgrim who asked for an audience with the Dalai Lama.
He was told he must first spend five years in contemplation. After the five years, he was ushered into the Dalai Lama's presence, who said, 'Well, my son, what do you wish to know?' So the pilgrim said, 'I wish to know the meaning of life, father.'
And the Dalai Lama smiled and said, 'Well my son, life is like a beanstalk, isn't it?'
-Procol Harum


Well, it's viernes and i just finished making up the final tests for my classes.Hard to believe the school year is almost over. Time flies.

That's a phrasal verb - it's meaning isn't literal. Phrasal verbs drive the students bonkers.

*

More rain. Frigging humid. Looks like it will be rainy all weekend. We've gotten buckets of rain this primavera.

I teach 4 hours tomorrow morning. It will be the first time I teach the marketing course i developed last year, so that is exciting.

*

The European football season is over. Manchester U wons the Champions League Final on Miercoles. We watched that at a bar in Sol.

Then yesterday I went with American Laura and her ex-boyfriend to an Irish pub to see Celtic from the Scotish Premiership. Mark's a Scot from Glasgow. Celtic were tied with Rangers and needed a win, It was the last game of the season. Celtic won 1-0 in a very lively game and Rangers lost 0 -2 to Aberdeen, When Celtic won the bar erupted. Then they sang. Then they went out en la calle (in the street) and did that bouncing up and down dance that white people with no absolutly rhythm do. Who knew there were so many Scots in Madrid?

So football is over. Now we have to wait two long weeks until Euro Cup 2008 on June 7th! Woo hoo!

Hmmm. But that means I'll be 40 by then. Oooch. Well, being 40 is better than the alternative,

*

For the first time ever I taught the lyrics to Rush's Cygnus X-1 and Hemispheres. I figured I'd give them a little science fiction. It spawned some good conversation.

*

Life is starting to normalize after the whole La Profesora thing. So I guess that's all i can ask for. Because things have been a little too exciting since i got back from Africa. Maybe I have to go back to Casablanca to reverse the polarity or something?

Fuck. I hope not.

Welcome Back

They flutter behind you your possible pasts
some bright eyed and crazy some frightened and lost
-Pink Floyd

Did some much needed computer cleanup today and freed up some vital space. When all but one of my USB ports all went down I was hosed as far as using the external hard drive for music – so i transferred the music to my laptop, which quickly filled up as I have about 45 GB of music. But in a minor miracle, a second one began to work again, so i can now get the iPod and Hard Drive hooked up. Just by converting the majority of the folders over, I freed up 36 GB. Boo yeah! Technology, i love ye! Wrap me in your synthetic arms and gives us a hug!

*

I've gotten some very nice feedback from two sets of students who want me to teach them again next year. It's always nice to be appreciated. I have to give them all tests next week. Then one more month to clean up what they are shaky on and then it's summertime and i go back to the continent of my birth for a while.

*

Mentally, i feel much better about La Profesora. Some space was helpful.

*

Rainy and cool. And then sometimes sunny and cool (we're on a peninsula so the weather changes like Florida).

*

Darth has a buyer for the house, due to close Jul 9. Son of a flea-bitten whoor! That's the day i come back. Well, they'll just have to leave some of my stuff in the garage til i get back. Anyone who is not amenable to that can bite my flatulent ass (which looks so hot in my new pants that fit!).

*

Poor American Laura. She did not know about the “Curse of the new clothes” that has plagued me all my life. The first time i wear a piece of clothing all hell breaks loose. Like the first time I wore my teal suit (uh, the 90's!!!) and got a flat on the West Side of Manhattan got covered in grease changing the tire. Or the time i wore a new polo shirt last year (when i was broke!). I was fixing a copier and thought it said “shake” and covered myself in black ink from head to toe (as well as the copier and the carpet).

When we went to the party we were eating on the floor. So i got some quesadilla sauce and some nice greasy cheese on them. “Your new pants!” she cried.

“Alack, the prophecy has been filled,” i said.

*

Okay, time to cook some pavo (turkey) dogs and then gorge myself on a few episodes of Lost.
One more episode and i'm onto the last season – season 4. Ahhhhhhh!You gotta help me out, man!

Gimme drugs, gimme drugs
-Vinnie Barbarino, Welcome Back Kotter

with the crazy girl

Love is a battlefield
-Pat Benatar

New Dates Confirmed

Jul 11 in sunny Wilton, CT.

I am so psyched to see you all. It'll be about 7 months since i saw you all last.

The days are so long know. It doesn't get dark til like 9:15. Loco. June soon. Me likes June. A little summer before the dog days of July and August.

The story is now 21,500 words. Upward and onward. Writing takes the patience of a saint. This i do not have. So you just focus on what you are doing at the time. Takes a little zen i guess.

I heard Geddy Lee on Rockline, talking about being in the zen of playing. Not focusing on the crazy timings too much or thinking too hard about it. Just getting in that in between zone.

- - -

I have new pants!!! American Laura took me shopping and within an hour i had thru new pairs of pants (even though you all know i hate pants, they are a necessity). I got one pair of khakis and two that are linen. Now all i need is a Panama Hat – yeah!

Then we went out with her friends from school. They are all really cool. People from France, Mexico, Italy and Laura and I from the USA.

“Hi,” This one cute girl said to me, and whatever her name was.

“Hi,” I said and introduced myself.

“Oh, you're friends with the crazy girl.”

“You know her.” I said

- - -

Saw the Mets beat the Yanks on Sabado. Double boo-yeah!!!!

Prediction- (i keep predicting this so i know someday i'll be correct: The Yankees will not make the playoffs this year. In a fit of rage, King George will have Joe Girardi tarred and feathered (like back in the good old days) down in battery park. It will be a big media event – bring the kids!!!! He will then try to hire Randolph away from the Mets who have just won their first Championship in over 20 years. When Randolph refuses, King George will hire HARDBALL X-14, a robotic manager made by Sony, to run the team.

Thank you for playing.

To taste my bitter triumph
a mad immortal man
-Rush

Dancing on an awning

Locked in the rift between heaven and hell
I begin to drift like a fallen angel
-Roger Daltrey


Viernes

Sleeping, cleaning, writing. Repeat. Rinse.

Well, Miercoles I went out with American Laura. St.Petersburg won the UEFA Cup. I told her la historia de la profesor and she was totally freaked out.

"She's wacky. I mean she's totally nuts. As she's leaving she tells you she loves you for the first time? She's loony."

American Laura is unquestionably nuts, so she should know. Somehow, this all made me feel better. We were out til about three so i just crashed by her.

Last night I tried to meet Syd y Kristen for The San Isidro festival but could not find the correct San Isidro Parque (yes -there a re sevreal -brilliant!). I kept getting bad directions, but i did find a Festival! It went on forever, weaving in an out of streets. There was paella, ice cream and fireworks, all of which i partook in. But getting out was madness... it was like being in a another dimension. And so many people - it was endless. Weaving on and on with an endless river of people.

Speaking of distorted realities, which seems to be a common theme for me lately - the Tampa Bay Devils Rays are in first place??? It won't last, but still!

What kind of fuckery is this?
-Amy Winehouse

La Profesora called yesterday. We hadn't spoke in four days with just one text message - quite unusual as we have talked almost everyday for 8 months or so. We didn't have much to say when we did talk.

"I haven't heard from you," he said. She sounded a wreck.

Um... yeah. That's what happens when you break up with someone.

"I need some space," I said. I can only dance on an awning for so long.

"I understand," she said.

And then she called me back a half an hour later.

"Yel...lo?"

"Hola."

"Hola," i say. Silence.

"Hola?"

"Oh, i meant to call my sister and i call you by mistake."

"Vale (okay)."

"Vale."

"Bye."

"Good-bye."

What the fuck?

The past few weeks have just been so mad! Natural disasters abound and the death toll just gets worse and worse. And all this with La Profesora! She didn't want to hurt me, so she tears out my heart and eats it? This is difficult to understand. I realize i may be well better off without her. On the other hand, we had something special.

I am reading The Wastelands: Dark Tower III by Stephen King and I and it is set in a world that is running down, literally coming apart at the seams bit by bit.

I can relate.

So tonight, more writing i guess. I also have the 3rd Season of Lost from American Laura. I went through the first two seasons of episodes like they were vials of crack. Great show - great writing, interconnecting everything with flashbacks and all. When I'm done, I can get season 4 off of iTunes, which I hear is very good after a drop off in season 3. Then I'm hosed and have to wait for a new episode each week like you other poor bastards. It's so pedestrian!!!!

Write, clean, eat, sleep. Rinse. Repeat.

Into the Iron Smelt

On soft gray mornings widows cry
The wise men share a joke;
I run to grasp divining signs
To satisfy the hoax.
The yellow jester does not play
But gentle pulls the strings
And smiles as the puppets dance
In the court of the crimson king.
-King Crimson


Remember how i left the country for visa reasons - that lovely little jaunt to Africa? Well, the City of Madrid, which rents us our apartment hasn't called yet. Chema said that if they don't call, i don't need to sign or give a deposit.

Which would mean:

• Everything was kosher with the Visa after my trip to Morocco, but i don't need it. Therefore i could have gone some place other than Hell
• My lover breaks up with me because she 'feels something for me' and then tells me she loves me for the first time
• Hillary beats the tar out of Obama in WV. She can't win the nomination - all she can do is HARM his campaign against MacDonald's. I mean McCain.
• 32,000 dead in Mynamar's Cyclone. I did not even know what a cyclone was!
  
• 15,ooo dead in China's earthquake. I was pissed about Tibet, but this was not the response i was looking for. I specifically said, nothing biblical!
  

I think i'll just lock myself indoors this long weekend.

But seriously - I saw a corpse in Jamaica. A cabbie who's throat was cut, cab stolen and left on the beach. It was afternoon when we saw him. Vultures and all. Not a pretty site. I can't imagine what those two places must be like. Those poor people!

So despite the fact that i am functioning under less than optimum parameters, life rolls on just fine.

American Laura's ex-boyfriend was a Scot - a Celtic Fan. So we are naturally going to go cheer on Rangers in the UEFA Cup Final! European Cup final time. Damn. The time goes fast.

Be well!

Into another dimension

The sleep is still in my eyes
The dream is still in my head
I heave a sigh and sadly smile
And lie a while in bed
I wish that it might come to pass
Not fade like all my dreams

Just think of what my life might be
In a world like I have seen
I dont think I can carry on
Carry on this cold and empty life
-Rush

9,000 Dead in a earthquake in China. Hombre! Horrible.

The Cyclone in Myanmar. The government blocking aid for suffering people!

The Internet tells me it's a punishment from God. But i don't believe it. It's either that we've fucked up the planet with pollution or it's the same old song we've been singing since our time on this plant began: awful awful things happen. And if this actually is the handiwork of some 'god,' which it isn't, then he can suck my balls.

A day as any other. One foot in front of the other, just like everyone else. Rainy here and cool - but not as cool as what i saw of the Mets game last night - that was full blown winter. I like it when it rains here. It's novel.

Last night Keith Hernandez said: They say there's global warming but it's freezing in May!

Okay Keith. Either way, by fire or ice, the planet is in trouble. Please man, don't hurt yourself, just stay on topic (which is baseball, Keith. Baseball!) and just call the freaking game. You don't see us letting Al Gore do color commentary for Nationals games, do you?

But still amazes me i can see games here. Couldn't sleep, so i got to see Figueroa implode. And that moron in the Nats dugout leading cheers.

Thursday is San Isidro Day, so no work. Imagine!!!! Patron Saint of Madrid. He made a magic water well or drove out rats or killed a dragon or something. I can't remember.

...same as it ever was
-Talking Heads

Liga del Campeones!

Who knows how long we've got
Or what were made out of
Who knows if there's a plan or not
There is our love
I know there is our love

if this is goodbye
if this is goodbye
-Mark Knopfler

ATLETI!

They won last night, 1-0, against a very defensive and very good Deportivo side. So they have qualified for a shot to play in Europe´s top league - The Champions League. At worst, they play in the UEFA Cup.

The stadium was a sellout. And it was freaking loud!!!! I met some people in the park outside. Just young kids really. The one dude, Nacho (now that´s a name!), could not get it through beer soaked skull that I was from America, not Inglatera (England). It was funny. His friend´s even corrected him the third time. Well, better friendly and dumb than an A-hole and smart. Anyway, the whole experience was really a thrill. And then i walked home in 20 minutes. Just over the river and up Calle General Ricardo and i´m home. Woo hoo!

Happy Muther´s Day to all of you by the way!

Land of Stupidity

It just took me over an hour and visits to 3 banks to deposit my pay from the Daft One. And the queue was long because this is San Isidro week so they cut their bankers hours from 9-2 to 9 to 12:30.

It´s a madhouse. A madhouse!!!!
-Col. Taylor, Planet of the Apes

At least if i was on the Planet of the Apes maybe i could at least grease their palms with bananas or something.

Down the rabbit hole...

Did anyone see my last marble
As it rolled out and over the floor?
It fell through a hole in the corner
Of a room in a town on a tour
-Marillion

Well...

Hmmm....

um....

You know, i think i'm at a lost for words. Man, sometimes love hurts - like a hammer coming down on your fingers.

I guess the most frustrating thing about this whole La Profesora thing is how it just fizzled out. I've never experienced anything like it before.

This is how the world ends
This is how the world ends
not with a bang
but a whimper
-TS Elliot

Well, looks like she just wants to be friends. She said that when you have sex with someone you don't really care about it's just fun but when you have sex with someone you care about and you start feeling something more ...it's different.

Um...yeah.

"And I'm scared...i'm crazy baby!"

Um...yeah.

What was really odd was that she was wearing the amber necklace i gave her for xmas ("we are all just bugs in Amber, Mr. Pilgrim"). When i we said goodnight, she unsolicited said "I love you." I don't think she's ever said that without me saying it first.

It's lonely without your last marble
I miss it not rattling around
As I lie in my bed there's a space in my head
Where there used to be colours and sound..
-Marillion

Final analysis: the woman's fucking bonkers. Time to move on. If she comes around and i'm still interested great. If not - bygones.

This whole time, through all this weirdness, we talked everyday. I need to change this. I don't want to be her brother. That happened in my marriage.

So it's yet another new era.

I feel terrible.

Love stinks
-J Giels

But this too shall pass. But these highs and lows ugh!!!! Maybe some of the passion gets sucked out of marriage as a defense mechanism? How the fuck could you raise your kids with all of those ups and downs?

Why don't i find a nice normal girl?

For the same reason American Laura can't date nice guys - it's impossible to be attracted to someone who bores the shit out of you.

Well...time to set sail to whatever uncharted port awaits.

I've seen too much of life
So the sea is my wife
and a sweet Ocean Cloud is a mistress I'm allowed
for now."
-Marillion

i'll be fine - but drama makes for a good story!

All quiet on the Iberian front...

Spanish songs in Andalucia,
the shooting sites in the days of ’39.
Oh, please leave, the VENTANA open.
Federico Lorca is dead and gone:
bullet holes in the cemetery walls,
the black cars of the Guardia Civil.
Spanish bombs on the Costa Rica -
I’m flying on in a DC-10 tonight.
-The Clash

On Jueves, Atletico smashed Espanyol Barcelona in the mouth in the with 2 goals in the 26^thth minutes and never looked back. They are in the fourth spot which guarantees the UEFA Cup, and allows you to qualify for the Champions League. Anita and Chema started to laugh after they won and I started to sing the Atletico Anthem. and 29

Atleti
Atleti
Atleti de Madrid!

I don't know the rest so I just sing;

Atleti
Atleti
No eres tu padre's kid (you're not your father's kid - in Spanglish).

But my Spanish is improving. Slowly, painfully - but improving. So i just keep on 'keeping on.'

RUMOR BUSTERS
There is no truth at all to the rumor that i will run on the Obama Barack ticket as Vice President. I was contacted back in April but was adamant in my refusal. “Look OB,” I said, “Right now the country is FUBAR. I'm not going back unless I KNOW it's better. I'm not coming back on a handshake and a promise. You need to wine and dine me before you get me in the sack.”

However, we did part in a good way. I said I would possibly accept a cabinet position down the line, possibly as secretary of horticulture if our politics meet.

- - -

The band jammed last night. I think we have one tune, for now just called 'the eternal song' because we played it forever. I'm going to get these guys lyrics today. For now we are just a power trio, though i'd love to get a female singer at some point.

We need a name. My suggestions are Fat From Heaven (A kind of dessert translated from Spanish) and Monkey Fucker. The sister thought the latter was catchy and i can only agree. Well, that's a topic to discuss with the band some other day.

Raining today. A thin steady rain. Very rare. Our reservoirs in Madrid are at 81 percent, but the rest of the country is dire straits as far as water. This is odd as Madrid has no water. The Manzanares river is a hardly a trickle, but we have good infrastructure with two large reservoirs. In the rest of the country there's a lot of waste and inefficiency in the transportation of water. This is going to come back to bite them in the ass down the line.

Doesn't everything?

28 days to Euro Cup 2008!!!!!!

I saw there is a Speed Racer Movie. Memories of my youth. Japanese Anime from the 60's. Joder! And Cristini Ricci as Trixi! Wowza! Hotter than Sevilla asphalt!

Fin de Semana

The path is clear though no eyes can see
-Genesis


Viernes! Yeah! No work for three days! Not that i should complain as work as been fairly cushy as we cruise through the final two months of the year.

Speaking of which, i have now lived in Madrid longer than i lived in Jamaica. Freakshow!

So the weekend sched is jam tomorrow, Sat. something with Maria (i still have no idea what is up between us) and Sunday night is the last Atletico home game of the year - Joder!

i'll be there, i'll be there, i will be there.
-Emerson Lake and Palmer


---

It's been raining here. We need it. My allergies are fucking killing me. Can't wait for the high allergy season to pass.

---

I cooked a .6 Kg steak yesterday on the grill. OH MAMA, was that delicious. Me love steak.

TOUR DATES- Verano 2008

(the following dates are confirmed)

Jul 9 - Hasbrouck Heights NJ
Jul 10 Ansonia, CT
Jul 12 Homdel, NJ to see Rush!!!!
Jul 23-26 Vermont
Aug 20 - 26 Madrid, Spain con mi Mum
Aug 29 - 31 Moscow, Russia

We'll let u know as more dates are set.

I need to get a new matress. This one is a single and i'm a roller. I'm hardly a large person - so how does anyone but a child sleep comfortably in a single bed. My feet go off the end. The wall keeps me from falling out! Oh well - all in good time. The rebajas sales start in June, so i'll look then.

Happy Viernes People!!!

The last sane person on earth

Or maybe i've gone insane? This is much more likely than the other 4 billion people on the planet losing it all at the same time.

INTO AFRICA

I sent Annie G a post card from Casblanca. Darth wrote me a thank you email, which was nice. I've made my peace with her, i think. Anyway, she expounded and said that she and Annie talked about Africa all night and that she thinks Annie wants to visit Africa someday.

Now, i don't have any kids (except myself), but isn't Annie 1 year old? I don't know any one year olds (not even 13 months) who talk. I guess i understand how you could tell her about Africa, but would it be any different than talking to her about geothermal physics? All the same, she could listen, so i'll give her that one. But she wants to visit there someday? Did Kid A draw her a diagram in a dirty diaper? What the hell? I am so confused.

So while the entire planet slowly goes mad (probably because of some virus released by aliens disguised as bears), it is my duty to soldier on for the rest of the human race. The problem is, i was never really the sanest egg n the carton to begin with. But fate has decided, so I must journey forward.

One morning I woke up
and I knew you were really gone.
A new day, a new way,
And new eyes to see the dawn.
Go your way
I'll go mine
and carry on.

-Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young

It's full out spring here – it's been 27 – which is like 80 degrees. No AC so it's time to get a fan. But the terazza is nice and cool. I may sleep out there in the summer. Speaking of which – i have not sleep much at all lately- not that i get much sleep during the week anyway. I feel funky – kind of sleep deprived. Maybe a power nap is a good idea.

Lost in their eyes as you hurry by
Counting the broken ties they decide
Love comes to you and then after
Dream on on to the heart of the sunrise
Lost on a wave that you're dreaming
Dream on on to the heart of the sunrise
SHARP-DISTANCE
How can the wind with it's arms all around
Me
SHARP-DISTANCE
How can the wind with so many around me
I feel lost in the city

-Yes

- - -

Yes. The Nap was a good idea. Now off to class.

- - -

Well , I just got back from jamming with Alphonso and this guy Miguel – who I met at Manu's going away party when i first moved in. They had a PC linked up to YouTube playing into an amp which crapped out. So i brought out my iPod and the speakers Mel y Janet got me. At one point I played Triana, a Spanish progressive rock band from the 70's and Miguel lost his mind that i knew it, so it was a pretty good fit to jam. I have been working on arc of lyrics called Prayers for Ugly Children, so we'll see what happens. But it's lovely to be jamming again. I find it really therapeutic to hit things for an hour.

So all is groovy here. I hope it is likewise with all of ye in North America. See you all soon. We'll party like it's 1989!!!!

We walk away with memories
And clutch them to our hearts
We disembodied entities
We love in fits and starts
For love like wine intoxicates
It drives all of you drink insane
But then all lovers are deranged.

-Townshend/Gilmour

Jodiendo Lunes part IV

Lookout Mama, cuz I'm coming home tonight!!!
-Neil Young

Real Madrid won the league last night, scoring two goals in the final ten minutes to come from behind and punk Osasuna. So you could hear them celebrating at plaza Cibelles (1km away) all night. And then there's the morons who drive around honking their horns. I was coming back from the ATM to give Chema the rent. I'm in the crosswalk and this egghead comes wheeling around making a tight left onto this sidestreet. I jumped back and shouted for him to go know himself biblically. So i go to cross again and his buddy comes screeching around in a second car. I added 'arsehole' when i engaged him verbally.


So after all this noise going last night, our downstairs neighbors ring the bell today right after i get home about 20:00. I open the door and a guy and gal i've never seen before are there and he starts rolling of in Spanish about "the bed." I tell him to chill and get Chema. Turns out i heard this dude right but just couldn't believe my ears. He was complaining that Chema's bed was too squeaky when he and Anita were having sex! Now, that's bed a squeaky bugger and Chema is a large boy (Anita MUST be on top or she'd be pulverized) but I've only heard them once (that's why God made earphones). I was IMing Mel and she couldn't believe it. She was like " We all hear that sometimes and maybe you bitch about it but you never complain to the actual people about it!!!"

I agree Seester. I know this is not America, but i would file that under "..and the pursuit of happiness."

Chema just said "Sure, sure, okay," and then shut the door. After he confirmed what i thought i had heard but couldn't believe, we burst out laughing. "I've never see them before either!," he told me.

Madness. Just another loco lunes.

And then there was the saga of getting the rent. I don't get paid til the 1oth and the 12th (Joder!) so i went to get the rent out of my US account. I tried 3 ATM's and it wouldn't work. I came home and checked the Internet and saw things looked fine so I tried after the game and it told me to go to another ATM. I was only able to get out 300E. My rent is 450E. So I come home and give Chema 350E and tell him i'll get the rest tomorrow (lunes). Then i log on and find out that because i used a few ATM's bank of America has frozen my card. They give me a 877 # that only works in the US. That's just brilliant! You knew the transactions took place in Spain!!!

The locutorio's aren't open til at least 11 (to try and call B of A), plus it would be 5 am eastern.

So i had been rolling change and had enough with cash in my wallet and change. I go to BBVA, my bank, and there are 26 people on line, most of them blue hairs. The only thing slower than a Spaniard is and OLD SPANIARD. I'm like, i'll never make it back to work in time. So i go to another bank. Sure enough, they ask if i have an account, which i don't. My bank had the 26 person geriatric queue.

I say no. He says he can't do it. "Por favor!" I say, and carry on and explain that I was visiting, i am returning to the US and have all this change. The bank was empty!!!So the lazy cabron finally did it. And then I gave Chema the fucking rent.

Everything seems to be an ordeal. Or is that just me?

Help, I'm stepping into the Twilight Zone
The place is a mad-house, feels like being cloned
My beacon's been moved under moon and star
Where am I to go now that I've gone too far

Soon you will come to know
When the bullet hits the bone
Soon you will come to know
When the bullet hits the bone
- Golden Earing

43 days /42 Nights

The US Dates are confirmed; July 9 to Aug 19 will be the El Dude 2008 North Eastern Summer Tour. Individual dates will be confirmed later, but DC, Maryland, Virginia, NJ, NY, CT, Vermont and Mass. are all on the list. Look forward to seeing you all!

When I return on the 19th of Aug, the Mum will accompany me back for a week, which will be a blast. Then the Summer Tour ends in Moscow Aug 29 - 31st with the first ever trip to Russia.

Well, that's all the news that's fit to print. Kind of packed for lunes. But like the past three weeks, it's been like trying to put a jigsaw puzzle together underwater.

A pleasant faced man steps up to greet you
He smiles and says he's pleased to meet you
Beneath his hat the strangeness lies
Take it off, he's got three eyes
Truth is false and logic lost
Now the fourth dimension is crossed...
-Rush

Normalcy

It went so well for you
With a place right where you wanted and the ones to fill it to
But some blows break the spell
That it hits you every day until you need to hit as well

It's just a shadow of the man you should be
Like a garden in the forest that the world will never see
You have no thought of answers only questions to be filled
And it feels like hell
-Big Country


I went and saw this exhibit on Miercoles when i found out my afternoon classes were cancelled called BODIES. They took cadavers and injected them with plastic. When it harded, they removed the tissue with chemicals and Kablam; you've got a model of the insides of a human being. It was awesome. There is currently an exhibit in NYC at the Seaport for anyone interested.

I also saw Plaza Colon, which is a park with a cool rock fountain and a big ass Spanish flag - it's ginormous. It's a monument to all of the Spanish explorers. Mentioned at the bottom are Christopher Columbus and The Nina, The Pinta and the Santa Maria. Holy shit!, was all i could think. Wow. 500 years ago, this is where it all started and now Shrubby is in power. Oh my god, what have we done!!!

music to contemplate life to:

The Lamb Lives - Genesis
Better Days Live - Wayward Platypus
Snakes and Arrows - Rush
Led Zeppelin live at Knebworth
Everybody knows this is nowhere - Neil Young
Exile in Guyville - Liz Phair

Sabado was American Laura's birthday. She invited her new boyfriend from Dallas to visit. Poor dude is scared of his own shadow and Laura was smashed!!!! We wound up in a horrible disco: Kapital that was like a torture chamber with all it's lights, moronic music and the occasional blast of white smoke over the dance floor that was like a giant passing gas. It was also accompanied by a loud farting sound which made Maria jump every time it happened.

So yes, Maria came, which was weird. Or maybe it was good. Laura was like "She still likes you dude, so just be chill. Give her some time."

"Girlfriend, I invented chill back in 1988."

"You are so fucking old!"

"Shut up and enjoy your 27th birthday, joven (child)."



reading material -

The Mule -Juan Eslava Galan
about a peasan tfighting for the facists in the Spanish Civil War

The Drawing of the Three (Dark TowerII) - Stephen King

Anyway we danced a lot at this cool little bar, long before the Disco Inferno (Infierno is quite appropriately the Spanish word for hell). So, i guess we'll just play the waiting game and see what happens.

"Aw...the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!!!"
-Homer Simspon

It was nice too see her of course, but a little awkward. And talk about awkward - American Laura, who was now barracha kept telling me how hot Maria looked.

"I know, thanks. Really trying not to think about that at this point in time."

She told Maria too, so she was kind of hitting on Maria in front of me and the guy who she began dating on the Internet and who flew out to see her. Didn't bother me because Maria doesn't swing that way, but i think awkward sums it up. I gave Roger a firm handshake and said "Nice to meet you bro," as he prepared to carry Laura out to a taxi.

I have NEVER seen her even close to that wasted. At one point she switched to pumps but it was like walking on stilts for her.

"I don't think their relationship is going to work," Maria said as i walked her to the taxi stand.

"No. No i don't think so, " I laughed.

Yesterday was a very social day. I went to go see the Picasso exhibit with Laura and Roger again. So great!!!

Then i went to Vincente Calderon and saw Atleti pummel Huelva 3 - 0. Then back to the house, showered, and off to the party.

Today I just clean and meet Kristen and Syd for lunch at 4. Then back to normalcy on lunes.

Whatever normalcy is.

Good Question

and the men who hold high places
must be the ones to start
to mold a new reality
closer to the heart
-Rush




Duvel, the dog, dressed for May Day to honor the Netherlands





Yesterday we rhetorically asked the question; why are all women bonkers?

Other questions

• Why does my housemate's toothpaste have urea in it? Isn't that pee? I checked mine and it does not have pee in it. Maybe that's why mine is for sensitive teeth.
• Why do all the best cowboys have Chinese eyes?
• Why do fools fall in love?
• Why do people dress up dogs?

Well, I managed NOT to get caught up in a riot last night. like i did last year. So things are on an upward curve!

loco is as loco does

When the world is running down, you make the best of what's around
-the police

Sometimes, you just hit a bad stretch. You know all about Morocco, so let us never speak about it again. Ever.

I am disputing the airline charges, which American Laura (EU Lawyer) says i have a great case against. Them.

However, i found out bank of America is giving me bogus charges. Every month, i pay the balance. So i just paid the April 14 balance, due tomorrow. However, these assholes are charging me interest on the the remaining balance that I haven't even gotten a bill for! So i disputed and threatened to pull my account if all these charges aren't returned immediately. I also mentioned the recent Wachovia scandal to them and would be happy to report them. The amount of money is nothing- like ten bucks a month, but still. It's the principle.

I give graduation talks at Universities a lot now. I used to always tell the kids to stick to their principles. A few years later I changed this to always making sure your principles are good ones. There's a lot of people who live in ivory towers who 'stick to their principles.' But now i don't even know about that. I told my good friend; “I tell these kids to stick to their principles. I also say don't kill animals, but I eat meat I'm a hypocrite!”

My friend said, “Yeah, but you know, the nice thing about being a hypocrite is that you get to stick to your principles.”

-Alan Alda, paraphrased from an interview on The View, 2007

And then there's la profesora.

Open question to anyone. Anyone at all. Why are all women nuts? Is nature's fault? God's? Oprah's? Madonna's? I need answers.

Things have definitely cooled with us. I was perplexed. Everything was great. She went thru some illnesses and her house being ripped apart, so i gave her the benefit of the doubt. Last night she came over for the first time since i moved in for a barbecue and I just brought it out into the open. I've died at least once or twice over the last year, and it doesn't scare me anymore. It's not pleasant or and it hurts, but short of putting out cigars on the bottoms of my feet, I know i'll get on just fine.

La Profesora has some anxiety issues, not unlike another character from my dark and damp past. She hates line 6 on the Metro (we all do!) because it's so deep down there's a good chance you might run into the preserved corpse of Jules Verne. But she took a very strange route here last night to avoid it all together. She sometimes has anxiety attacks and gets really dizzy. But I can live with all this.

When i questioned her nicely about all this, she has said for the second time that she is scared. And scared of hurting me. Let's examine this -

Scared: She can't articulate what.

• Scared of falling in love? There is never love without risk.

• Scared she'll fall for me and i'll move away

• Scared that if we ever had kids they'd be just like me?

I don't know if she doesn't. She said she'll try and get me an answer.

Scared of hurting me?

Let me tell you tootz, there isn't ANYTHING you can do to me that hurt like what happened to me last year - short of putting jumper cables on a car battery and then clipping the other two ends on my ears. That would fucking hurt.

So, we'll wait and see what happens. For the time being, i only have 2 assumptions to go on;

a. she's lying

b. she's bat shit crazy

Neither of these offers me much comfort. I've been through both of them last year.

“You really think we'd work as a couple? In a relationship?” she asked me a few weeks ago.

What the hell do you think we are? I had been living down there every weekend. She wanted to keep it open for seeing other people, and I had said fine. But if we didn't have a relationship, then what was it? A weekend co-op?

If there is someone else, and there could be, then fine. I won't dance about it, but fine. But i need the truth.

I told her - “When things start to get weird, I kind of have some trust issues after what happened in my marriage.”

And if she's just bonkers, then once i've extended my hand a couple times without her taking it, then i'm at just as much of a dead end as if she had been untruthful.

So how's by you?

What am I supposed to say?
Where are the words to answer you
When you talk that way?
Words that fly against the wind and waves

Where is the wave that will carry me
A little closer to you?

-Rush

But not to worry... this too shall pass. In a last attempt at letting her know how i feel, i gave her a cheap little, red, crystal ring and ask her “to go out with me.” I felt like i was in fucking high school! But it's a gesture. She said she'd let me know.

So things will get better or they'll get worse, like always. Either way, i'll eventually be fine.

I rose up like a Phoenix
and pissed in the remaining ash
I tossed away all memory
and told the world to kiss my ass
-Wayward Platypus