Down the rabbit hole...

Did anyone see my last marble
As it rolled out and over the floor?
It fell through a hole in the corner
Of a room in a town on a tour
-Marillion

Well...

Hmmm....

um....

You know, i think i'm at a lost for words. Man, sometimes love hurts - like a hammer coming down on your fingers.

I guess the most frustrating thing about this whole La Profesora thing is how it just fizzled out. I've never experienced anything like it before.

This is how the world ends
This is how the world ends
not with a bang
but a whimper
-TS Elliot

Well, looks like she just wants to be friends. She said that when you have sex with someone you don't really care about it's just fun but when you have sex with someone you care about and you start feeling something more ...it's different.

Um...yeah.

"And I'm scared...i'm crazy baby!"

Um...yeah.

What was really odd was that she was wearing the amber necklace i gave her for xmas ("we are all just bugs in Amber, Mr. Pilgrim"). When i we said goodnight, she unsolicited said "I love you." I don't think she's ever said that without me saying it first.

It's lonely without your last marble
I miss it not rattling around
As I lie in my bed there's a space in my head
Where there used to be colours and sound..
-Marillion

Final analysis: the woman's fucking bonkers. Time to move on. If she comes around and i'm still interested great. If not - bygones.

This whole time, through all this weirdness, we talked everyday. I need to change this. I don't want to be her brother. That happened in my marriage.

So it's yet another new era.

I feel terrible.

Love stinks
-J Giels

But this too shall pass. But these highs and lows ugh!!!! Maybe some of the passion gets sucked out of marriage as a defense mechanism? How the fuck could you raise your kids with all of those ups and downs?

Why don't i find a nice normal girl?

For the same reason American Laura can't date nice guys - it's impossible to be attracted to someone who bores the shit out of you.

Well...time to set sail to whatever uncharted port awaits.

I've seen too much of life
So the sea is my wife
and a sweet Ocean Cloud is a mistress I'm allowed
for now."
-Marillion

i'll be fine - but drama makes for a good story!