It's getting stranger all the time.....

He'd love to spend the night in Zion
He's been a long while in Babylon
He'd like a lover's wings to fly on
To a tropic isle of Avalon

He's got a force field and a flexible plan
He's got a date with fate in a black sedan
He plays fast forward just as long as he can
But he won't need a bed
He's a digital man
-Rush



Okay...so i did the Internet Dating Site thing. It was free. One profile I liked. It seemed sincere. There was no picture, which can be trouble! You ALWAYS hope it's some hot chick who wants to be judged on who she is, not just her hot bod, but normally it's a horribly obese alien with green skin, acne, tentacles and a Yonkers accent (see: El Dude's first blind date in Dec of '06. She ordered waffles for dinner and was the size of a horse trailer).

But we can always hope. You never even know if their profile is active or not

So, this gal Sheri writes me. We exchange an email or two. That was a week ago. She designs clothes and just left for Lagos, Nigeria on wed. for a few weeks to work on a project. Otherwise she lives in Madrid.

She sends me a pic and she's a babe! She looks like Jessica Alba. Turns out she is a former model but she got out of it because all of the folks who get you modeling gigs wanted to bang her first. Looks like her hooters are enhanced or God was just feeling really Saucy on the day he made her, cause her boobs are twice as big as her waist.

Of course, we haven't met yet, because the timing was way off. She's 30, which is at the low end of my spectrum. But she's really funny and cute when we chat. We talked for two hours this morning with her in Lagos, Nigeria.I get the impression she's not exactly going to get offered a job with NASA, but i can live with that. It could be the language. Her English isn't great, but she says her Spanish isn't either. Que?

It seems she lived in Australia for 12 years. So if she doesn't speak Spanish and her English isn't great, what does she speak? It's like she's French Canadian! I don't know. We'll see.

So that's the latest scoop on Sheri Melon, my new hot Internet girlfriend of the day!

If I read about my life in a book I would throw it down after 50 pages and say - "this is the most ridiculous load of steaming dog crap i have ever heard!"

But no, that's my life.