The Empire Strikes Back

Miss you, Hate you but i feel you i don't want you but i need you baby -Joe Bonamassa As the birth of the baby nears, I find my thoughts wandering from psychosis to the fact of my foul halitosis. So heavy, all this stuff. To not be there for my daughter's birth - yet how could I have invested all the emotion only to find out she wasn't mine. Oh well. I made the best decision I could and I'll live with it, happily. I will relay the details when the baby is born. Then a week or two to find out who her pappy is. How did I get myself in such a ghetto situation? Ay Caramba! and she smells like a rose and she tastes just like a peach she got me walking where the wildlife grows I'd do anything to reach her Cause if she was made in heaven heaven's in the world -Dire Straits Well after this most holy season of penance and self denial, it's finally Easter. Spring, rebirth, standard birth and paternity suits. So I know what it is that dear readers want now: Tales of sex, drunkeness and cruelty. GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT! MENAGE A TROIS This past week included three enticing encounters with the fair opposite sex. Here's the blow by blow: MARTA: JJ's kind of adopted neice. He's the mad weed scientist. Anyhoo, he's a mentor to Marta, who's now like 29. She lives in Sevilla and was here visiting for semanna santa. Because of JJ's tutelage, she just passed her test to be an air traffic controller (JJ is a pilot, not currently flying becuase of glaucoma). So we all played pool and Marta and I kind of hit it off. Great personality! Fluent in English. Dark hair, fair skin, nice rack, tremendous ass and the craziest green eyes. "I'd do her," Kristen said. "And I'd gladly step aside if you let Stuart and I watch from the serving cutout in the kitchen." But what's really amazing is the life behind her eyes. The personality. She's cute, it's her personality that makes her smoking. So Friday night we went to the bar, JJ's, and then to the local around 1am. JJ, the man, was there. "I probably shouldn't tell you this, cuz I am jealous." He smiles. "But remember Marta." "Of course. I'm not a cat." "Well, she told me she likes you." "Really? I thought she was great. Tremendous gal." "Well she likes you." "She's back in Sevilla, huh?" "She left this afternoon." O foul temptress, Fate! "Do you have her number?" "Yes." I'm laughing now. "So will you give it to me?" "Maybe." he laughs." I am very jealous." Now he breaks out laughing "I'm just kidding." "Vale. So can I get her number from you?" "Maybe." ______ The craic is that I mentioned to her on Tues that I am thinking of moving to Sevilla for next semester. I knew her like 5 minutes at this point. "If you ever need help getting around when you get there, just let me know." Tremendous chick. Anyway, I knew I had to go to Sevilla in the next four weeks anyway. So after I taser JJ and get Marta's email or number, I'll have to plan a trip. Que Bueno!!! I'm sure JJ will give me the number. After all, Tuesday ended with him leaving our flat at five in the morning after reading his own Spanish poetry over some live '74 King Crimson. Kristen and I were in stiches. I couldn't understand a word of it at that hour, and it was written on this piece of paper he pulled out of his pocket that looked like he had it for 5 years. And over the live King Crimson improv instrumental (which can be dissonant to say the least). It was like beat poetry in hell. Outrageous. I couldn't believe it was happening. JJ loves King Crimson and lost his mind when I told him I could give him some live stuff. Everyone his age remembers IN THE COURT OF THE CRIMSON KING. PATRICIA The spicy latin doctor from Argentina. We had some good conversation on wed. Smart. Interesting. Delightful curves - I bet you she would wreck me. Laid back. She's a doctor and she smokes - bizarro. She told me she'd probably be at JJ's Bar on Fri, but wasn't there. No biggie, probably catch her on Wed. I like her. Where it goes, who knows. But you never do, do you? And that's the thrill, I guess. AMERICAN LAURA Just friends. Crazy as a bedbug, but I love her. Her dad fights cocks! Think of the story ideas. Kristen doesn't like her. Thinks she's sleezy whore. And very possibly she is. I can live with that. She's a train wreck: I fear to watch yet I cannot look away.Drawn to her like a moth to the flame, I am. And we're just friends. Kristen goes mental when I go out with her. Cracks me up. She's so protective! Anyway, i like to hang with her. The weird thing was that she texted me on Tuesday and asked if I wanted to go to Cordoba for the day with a few of her friends. They had a car. "That girls a freak. What the fuck is her problem?" Kristen asked. I told her I couldn't go, that I was supposed to go with Stuart down south, but that I was thinking of bagging it. "Well, I'll be back on Thursday. How bout we do something this weekend if you don´t go to Cadiz?" "Sure." I was wondering what I'd do all by myself. "There's something wrong with that girl, Jay. And you could do 10 times better. She's nothing special," Kristen said. "I am not going to sleep with her." "You better not. You'll get syphyllis." "Hoder!" cries Stuart." "Duly noted mother. May I be dismissed now?" "Yes." ---------- Stuart wound up coming home early, so we were all together for Thurs.Fri, Sat. and Sun. Plenty of fun. I didn't see Laura's text from Thurs until 1 am on Friday Night. It said she was home. I texted her on Sat. to see if she wanted to go out after I jammed. She was sick and decided to stay in. Then I got a text (today) on Easter, asking if I wanted to go out to dinner. "Oh, is it dinner now?" said Stuart. "What is wrong with that filthy whore?" said Kristen. I texted her back that I already had dinner plans. K, S and I had decided to go out for a nice dinner together for Easter. We went to Vaca, an Argentine Steakhouse. I had a steak for the first time in 3 months. Damn, that was good. I am now here 90 days and three moons. Where does the time go? Halfway done with Madrid. So to recap; Patricia is in slow gear - Marta is currently in park - and Laura is just a friend, so I don't get Syphyllis. So much to look forward to. And a busy week of teaching.What does the future hold? Stay tuned. And happy Easter. Spring is upon us. Things I miss: Baseball Barbecuing Fripp Friends (and their kids) Family Dryers Washing machines that work the first time around Dishwashers Being a native speaker in the country i live in My drums and my keyboards The Garden of Zen and Toll Road Cherry Blossoms in DC Dry Cleaners A sink with a grabage disposal (Sarlaac) so that it doesn't back up. The CD's I never had a chance to save to iTunes My old neighbors But all is well. 3 AM and I need to get up at 7:30 am. I did school paperwork all day and just finished. We didn't go out to dinner til 9:30 - so Spanish. Hoder! Cheers!!!!! -El Dude -------- A young reader's introduction to the Spansih Exile Blog, part II. "I'm also known as Sammy the schnoz, Tony the Tuba, Benny the Groin, and once and once only as Miss Phyllis Levine. I don't know - i had a little smoke, popped a qualude - next thing I know I'm in fish nets singing show tunes. It happens. But to my family and friends, I am best known as the fucking doctor." -Billie Crystal as the Psychiatrist, introducing himself at a Mafia sit down in Analyze This, Hoder - fuck the local - the local bar (the Mural) chupa mis huevos - suck my balls arse - ass vale - okay Mahou Cinco Estrellas - local Madrid beer, best in town Marta - hottie Patricia- hottie American Laura - psycho, great craic JJ - Pilot, Botanist, friend James - bartender at the local JJ's Bar- where we go on Wed night Casa de los Monos (the Monkey House) - Our Flat Bravo Murillo - our street Daft Cunt - My ScottIish boss, Alex