Feliz Ano Nuevo!

Well... it's 21:29 here in Madrid. Just a few more hours. The decade is almost kicked! How did that happen?

I just cooked a delicious anchovie, garlic, olive oil sauce with penne pasta. Everyone is with their family. Madrid has shut down. I am going to get dressed and then go feed Jessica's cat, Bombay, and ring in the new year with him. Then i am meeting Juan uptown for some private party that goes from 1 -8! Joder! These people love to stay up all night.

There's been fireworks going off all day. First they have dinner with the family. 12 seconds before midnight they start eating a grape every second for good luck. They sell 12 grapes in plastic containers and cans! I'd try it but i'm afriad i'd choke and there'd be no one but Bombay to help me. You know, cats can be fickle.

Then tomorrow night i am going to meet Rebound Girl around 21:00. Then i am going to sleep for 24 hours.

Begin the day
With a friendly voice
A companion, unobtrusive
Plays that song thats so elusive
And the magic music makes your morning mood
-Rush

Song of the Year: Revelations - Joe Satriani

Lastly, I am the winner of the TEFL Course Survivor. I am the final person remaining in Spain from the course I took in January of 2007. Sydney left before Xmas. I called her but never got to see her.

I am the last man standing.The soul survivor. The last in line. The Omega.

Sorry. New Year's Eve is so apocalyptic!

And so hopeful.

I wish you all peace, health and prosperity in the New Year! I love you all!

And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to the love you make.
-The Beatles

Dos mil nueve

TOP ALBUMS OF 2008

#3 - Glenn Hughes - First Underground Nuclear Kitchen
#2-Marillion - Happiness is the Road
#1- Joe Satriani - Professor Satchafunkilus and the Musterion of Rock

2008 was nowhere near the kind of year that 2007 was with Porcupine Tree, Rush, Marillion, and Radiohead all putting out quality albums. But the real standout album was Satriani's. It's gorgeous, full and beautifully produced. The guy knows what he's doing.

MEMORIES OF MALAGA

The whole town shut down from 18:00 until midnight. By 1:30 the streets were jammed. It was a long crazy night with lots of laughs. I got home at 6:00.

The weather wasn't very warm unless you were in the sun during the day. 50's mostly.

We saw the Picasso Museum (he was born there) which was excellent. We also climbed up a hillside to this amazing old fort that went on forever. The views from up there were amazing. It's a very old beautiful city.

Some of the food was great; Tuna belly, Vensison Burgers with sweet onions and shitake mushrooms and tapas with smoked tuna.

I kicked the crap out of the Martian in darts (Double in, Double out) and then won the world championship of foozeball.

2008 is melting! Melting!

RETURNING FROM MALAGA

Welcome back my friends
to the show that never ends
we're so glad you could attend
step inside, step inside!
-ELP

Welcome my friends to Season Five! Malaga was great fun. Lots of tales to tell that shall be told soon. Lots of laughs with the Martian and Moss. I just wanted to say hey and let you all know i am alive as i was sans internet for 6 days, which is almost unthinkable. The train ride was very pretty and uneventful.

It's almost 19:00 here. I need to get food, do laundry, go to the post office, etc. It's nice to be back.

We got a really big show for you this season with a lot of threads to tie up, untie, and then re-tie again! What will happen with Terminator Girl? Will El Dude ever test drive a Mercedes? Will i still be here when 2009 closes? Will any of us be here if Israel continues in the Gaza Strip? Will that mean i'll have to blog on the walls of caves? WWOD - What would Obama do?

Stay tuned!

Never try to keep up with Irish people when drinking beer.
-Ancient Celtic Proverb

Merry Ludachrismas!

To find the sacred river Alph
To walk the caves of ice
Oh, I will dine on honeydew
And drink the milk of Paradise
-Rush


Chema's gone to Jaen. I am packed except for some personal items i'll use tomorrow. My train is at 11:30 manana to the Costa del Sol. Yee hoo!

I taught five hours today. Cash!

The flu is still with me but its hold is breaking. Fuck you flu. I'll be fine.

I love all you crazy people very much. I am sorry i won't be with you, but you're stuck with me for an extra 2 weeks this summer. Ha! So take that.

Besos

If the boobs don't fit...

• Thanks for all the Ludachrismas, Festivus and Cockmas Cards!
• Thanks to all of you who expressed your concern about my most recent crisis with robots from the future. While many of you are skeptical, which i understand, if the boobs don't fit - there must be something wrong. And this chick's boobs just didn't match her. I notice these things as i have studied boobs for most of my natural life. While most of you know i did my undergrad in English at Fairfield and have an MBA from GW, very few of you know i have a masters in Hooterology from Beaver College in PA. Trust me, this chick is a cyborg.
• 5 hours of class tomorrow. I think i'm up to it. I believe i have turned the corner with this flu.
• Were the Giants and Seahawks games great or what? That Giants game was one for the ages. I hope too be at Dubliners on Feb 1 (2nd here) watching the Giants defend their title against San Diego Chargers. That's right! I am picking the Chargers. I am provocative as well as insane.
  
• Tomorrow is going to be nuts. Merry Ludachrismas if i don't get to blog before then. Peace on Earth!
  

A face from the future

You see it's all clear
you were meant to be here
...from the beginning
-ELP


Yesterday afternoon i went to have that intercambio with Nieves. Thirty. Super smart. Her eyes flickered back and forth. She learns so fast. Too fast. I kept looking at her eyes flicker. Something was wrong. And while she dressed a little mousy and could use some skin cream for the dry skin on her forehead, she had a set of hooters that were outrageous. Not too big but very round. Like they were surgically enhanced. But she didn't grab me as the type of gal who would do that. And then it hit me like a brick - she was a terminator sent from the future for some diabolical purpose.

"Then why the hell would she need to learn English?" asked American Laura.

"Because she's not here for English. She's here for me. They know i'm an English teacher. Taking classes would be the easiest way to fine me!"

"Do you have a fever?" She asked.

"No. She might be here to make sure i do the things i have done."

"What?"

True Story: In 2003, Momentum Consulting, otherwise known as me, consulted on a DOD Robotics Program and sold the idea of using a site in Wyoming in conjunction with Senator Thomas' office, a (R) Senator. We won the contract. It's since been renewed to the tume of tens of millions of dollars. Unmanned planes, unmanned tanks etc. Right after the deal closed i had nightmares about Terminator stuff. Terrifying really.


Darth told me not to worry, that they were just dreams. But a mere three year slater she'd turn into machinery and metal herself! Aghhh!


So what do they want with me now? Should i do what i normally do or not do what i normally do? Which one leads to the rise of the machines??? Damn you, temporal time travel paradox!!!!!

I have to stop her. And we all know the only way to do that is with a large quantity of phosphorous nitrate, the only thing that will burn this futuristic alloy.

Burn baby burn.

Man, I hate the holidays. It's always something. If it's not the flu, it's killer robots sent back through time from the future. Well, we don't call it Ludachrismas for no reason.

Sueno de Numero Dieciocho

Number 18 Dream

I dreamed in Spanish for the first time this week. All i remember is 18. But it wasn't eighteen - it was dieciocho. Spanish friends have told me to play the Xmas Lottery. But i know what it was. It was Dec 18th

I am watching Atleti play Espanyol and i understand a good bit of what the announcers are yabbering abou. And last night i went out with my former students, Rut and Yoli, and we spoke in Spanish for hours. So i am finally getting this language, two years later. It feels good. I'm very happy about it. Tomorrow i have an intercambio (language exchange) with Juan's friend, Nieves (which means Snow!). Hopefully she's a good teacher.

Kun Aguero just scored an outrageous goal. He was alone with three defenders, took 2 shots and finally scored on a rebound. Atleti up 2-1.

Laser goal by Maxi. 90th minute. Atleti 3, Espanyol 1. Game over!

It ended 3-2. No lead is ever enough with this team. But Atleti remains above Real Madrid in the standings! This drives their fans nuts!

Random Slapshots

Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty Oh won't you please take me home! -Guns n' Roses

• Cheers to the dude who threw the shoe at Bush. You are a hero. It should have been a knife. But I understand that would have been much more difficult than getting your loafer through security.
• Caroline Kennedy for senator? I'd say Jamie Farr has the same credentials or better. Go Mudhens!
• I am sick - i finally came down with something after meeting about 100 sick people over 5 days. Who knew there was so much mucous in the world? No worries. I will heal myself before Malaga. Sunny Malaga - where women are hot and the beer is cold. Sounds like paradise.
• Amazingly, Chema is not working but actually went out of the house. It's a Ludachrismas Miracle!
  
• Which means i can sit and watch the Atletico Game at 22:00 and then go back to bed. They say sleep is the best when you are sick. I say it's good any old time.
  

The Sleep of No Dreaming

That's the way my love is That's the way I care You should call on me baby I'm always there for you Yeah, I'm always there for you -Smashing Pumpkins

Miercles

• finally hit 11C today, 52F.
• I had one class today and one tomorrow. Then i sub 3 hours for Lyndsay Buckingham on Martes and that's about it. Maybe 2 hours with Miguel Angel, tops. But i am going to teach on Sunday in exchange for some Spanish lessons. Intercambio, they call it here. It's a friend of Juan's. She has to take the stupid Cambridge first certificate test, which proves nothing other than how well you take the test. Never was a fan of standardized testing, never will be.
• Jammed with Summer in Raincoats last night. It's coming together.
• Jam with Band B tomorrow.
• As of this weekend, Spain comes to a screeching halt. You can hear the pistons squeal as the brakes grab.

IN THE END

Year in Review;

• American Laura and I are getting along fine now
  
• Rebound Girl and I are getting along fine now too
  
• I am a better teacher than I was my first year
• My knowledge of English grammar has sextupled
• I can actually F#$king talk in Spanish!
• I am playing drums regularly and hope we'll have gigs in 2009!
• I have a place to live with heat and hot water
• The new Novel is 70,000 words
  

It's been a good year.

Cock Mass

Mutilated in translation

I was teaching them Xmas vocab. One word was 'midnight mass'. A woman said, "Oh, en masa de gallo?" I said, "huh?"

"Cock Mass."

I said, "exqueeze me?"

"Cock Mass."

I burst out laughing.

It comes from the idea of the cock crowing at midnight. Which they don't. They crow at first light. But you get the picture.

So I explained the alternate meaning of cock and translated back;

"En masa de pene."

Now it was their turn to laugh their brains out.

Crazy, toys in the attic
i am crazy
truly gone fishing
-Pink Floyd

Tiene Frio

I cant stand it any longer
I need the fuel to make my fire burn bright
So dont fight it any longer
Come to me again in the cold, cold night
-White Stripes


Cold cold cold! Fuck! And i walk everywhere! It was cold last night at the game, mostly because there was standing water at our feet. Band drainage. The stadium is a shithole. I'll have to wear my cowboy boots next time. But they won! Atletico is now 5th, just a head of Real Madrid. Toma!

I ran my feet under hot water when i returned i was fine. No frostbite.

I sat there and ate my pistachios and peanuts. They all eat sunflower seeds. I can't get into that. All shell and no meat. Pedro was home with his new baby. I'm not sure why Ernesto wasn't there. But Ernesto's fifty something wife was there. I still can't get over the things they say. "Cuno muy tonta!"she yelled, which translates to 'You stupid cunt!' She was yelling at the ref.

Tough crowd.

Classes are winding down. The entire country is checking out for xmas. A lot of my classes won't start again til the 13th of Jan. There seems to be no end to holidays in Spain.

Bad Girl

I can see my lifetime piling up
I can see it smashin into yours
It was not an accident at all
Open your window up - I hear you laughing
-Talking Heads

Her name is Mercedes, roommate of my friend, Blonde Jessica. She's Argentine, lived in the Miami for years, and now lives here. She's a DJ. She wore aqua blue tights to the party. Whew! Caliente! I think she's completely insane. But sweet.

Out of the blue, she just called me to say 'hi' and thanks for the party. I'm going to go over to Mercedes and Jess' place for dinner on this week. I'm going to feed their cat over Ludachrismas.

All my life i have dated 'nice girls,' See; 1984 - 1994, 2007 - present. I guess i married one too until she went renegade, See; 2006 to 2008.

Jess told her a few weeks ago, "You would get along great with my friend Jay."
"What does he look like?"
"He kind of looks like Jesus."
"I love guys who look like Jesus!"
Then she showed her the photo of me as Jesus, to which Mercedes said, "he looks like Jesus!"

So we talked a bit last night. Nice gal. She is NOT Sheltered. So, we shall see. I always wanted to drive a Mercedes!

In the wake of Ludachrismas

Thank you
whoever you are
-Marillion

• I love reading the NY Times on Sunday. Thank you Internet!
• The Ludachrismas party was a blast and a big hit. I got home around 5. Bo made some hummus and i chopped a million veggies, so we had healthy eats. There were folks from the US, Spain, Holland, England and Scotland. American Laura's new boyfriend is from Glasgow and is all but impossible to understand. I've read a lot of Irvine Welsh, so i could interpret him for the others.
  
• There were a ton of cute gals, most of them much younger than me. But it was fun to chat them up. Many of these ladies offered to be groupies for Summer in Raincoats. Que bueno! I also met a few folks who know people who own bars and could help to get us gigs. The band seemed to be the talk of the party as both Juan and Bo were there as well. People were coming up to me all night and saying "you play drums?" We shall see how this unfolds.
  
• Pedro, who i sit with for the games is a new dad! So i'll just meet his brother for my ticket tonite against Betis of Sevilla. Last home game of the year.
• May all of your Ludachrismases be white!
  

Difference a Day Makes

So this is Xmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
-John Lennon

• We have heat! They came and fixed it yesterday. And my bags are in the spare room! It didn't seem to be nearly the project Chema claimed it was. I don't care what happened as long as it's fixed. I like Chema. Nice guy. Just lazy. Couldn't pay me to have his life. But he got off his ass and got it done.
  
• Band B has a new singer - a Scottish chick, Tamara. Schwing! Definitely hot. When we got there she was drinking Jack and Coke. Those crazy Scotts! Very likeable folks, most of 'em. So now both bands have Scottish singers.
• Female lead singers have a thing for drummers. See; Fleetwood Mac. I'd prefer to keep it professional, but women have a way of getting what they want
  
• The Daft Cunt threw a very nice xmas party on wed. at an Argentinian steak house. We ate like kings. It was very nice of him.
• Tonite is Ludachrismas at Bo's.
• All else is well. The entire country is geeked up for El Classico this evening, Real Madrid vs. Barcelona.
• I am geeked up for Atleti vs. Betis tomorrow at 21:00. Last game of the year.
  

Blue and white facepaint

we're here heading for the day of reckoning I'm telling ya,
It's all building up to something,
Something that can be repeated with fire!
-Pete Townshend

Let the ass kicking begin! Chema told me when he calls the city, or whoever owns our flat, that they do nothing about the heater. I told him that he could call or that i could call but that i'm not spending the winter like an animal foraging for hot water and heat in the salon and kitchen. It took 5 days for my clothes to dry! I told him that if it's not fixed i'll move out, which i will. And i'm especially not paying 450E for this place when my heat, electricity and hot water are supposed to be included. He can live like a soldier's slave if he wants, but not me. What an idiot! A cowardly dog. Can you imagine? Where i come from, you don't take shit. You give it. Let the hammer fall!

He's on the phone with them now.

Ludachrismas has been moved to Bo's house, because he's a fat cat with heat and hot water!

My bedroom has heat, but that's from my electric miracle heater.

I sometimes wonder how long i can live in a country like this. I turned on the stove to heat the kitchen when i was cooking in there after my shower while my hair was still wet. It's like Little house of the fucking Prarie!

Take the S....

....Out of Spain, and it's PAIN.

A water main did break. We got water back around 20:00. I heard the shower and thought it was Chema. After about 15 minutes i realized it had been left on. The water smells okay, so i think we're fine. The break seemed very isolated. Now to get on Chema about the heat when i see him. But the skies have cleared after 5 days, which makes it easier to keep the pilot light lit. At least temporarily.

I made a point to burn all of the photographs,
She went away and then I took a different path,
I remember the face, but I can't recall the name,
Now I wonder how whatsername has been...
-Green Day

This place is a developing country in so many ways, 20 years behind the rest of Europe. Trying to stay warm in winter when you are INDOORS! Crazy. It can try your patience.

But you can actually see the stars tonight, which is nice. I forgot they were there. Winter means cold, rain and fog.

But my electric heater KICKS ASS. My is small and holds the warmth very well. And i have my fuzzy Atletico slippers on!

I believe i am having a Ludachrismas party on Sabado. The last party was Back to School in Sept. You are all invited if you can get here on Saturday! You can even have my bed!

SUMMERS IN RAINCOATS
I think we have a temporary name for band A; Summers in Raincoats. "How the f@#k did that happen?" Well, i suggested Summers in Rangoon, from Dr. Evil's psycopathic rant in therapy from the first Austin Powers Movie. Juan and Lee heard Summers in Raincoats, and then Bo liked it too when he got there. Go figure. It can certainly mean a lot of different things. Bo was laughing his ass off because his friends always called condoms raincoats, so he liked it instantly. It also represents summer in the UK, and our singer and harp player, Lee, is a Scott. So it seems to resonate on many levels. For me it's a metaphor for making the best out of a bad situation with a smile on your face. That and the rubbers in the summer thing.

The Last Straw

• I have to talk to Chema as soon as he wakes his fat ass up. He was still playing video footaball when i left at 7:15am. I guess it's better than playing video parchese (which he often does). If ever a person is wasting their life, it's him.
• We have no water suddenly. Thankfully i just took a shower, after jerking about with the heater for 40 minutes. He's got to get the landlord to fix it or i am moving out. The pilot light goes out every five minutes. And he also needs get a new lock on the spare room. He said he'd do it over the summer and put my luggage away. It was there when i got back. It's still there in the hall. Six months!
  
• He doesn't drink or do drugs. He's just Fat and lazy. I really don't know what his problem is. He never leaves the house. He cooks soup. leaves it on the stove for a day and then reheats it. If his mother taught him a thing in his life, he never listened.
• It's ass kicking time. Poor Schmuck. I wouldn't want me angry at me.
  
• Still cold and nasty. Como Irlanda (like Ireland).
  

That which passes, passes like clouds part 2

I can learn to resist
Anything but temptation
I can learn to co-exist
With anything but pain
-Rush

• It's just kind of nice to be alive.
  
• After three hours of jamming you get a sense of who the players are. And when it all comes together... it's really sweet.
• I like sleeping.
• I love you all! Big smooches with lots of tongue !
  

Same as it ever was, part two

• I believe Patricia got the idea when i explained how different we were this afternoon. I'm just not feeling it and she is a little touch of kept-in-the-closet wacko. And she had an abusive boyfriend from ten years ago. Oy! The poor girl. And she is as wordly as an Amish person! And she was a little pouty at not seeing me all weekend. What the hell!!!!!! I just got DIVORCED. I keep my own schedule. I believe i have paid for this right.
• Time to go jam! I do love to hit things. Truly, i do.
  
  ***Note to self. No more Latina women named Patricia
  

Back to the old drawing board
-Wile E Coyote (Super genius!)

Dating in the 00's

I wait here in this hole
Playing poker with my soul
I hold the rifle close to me
It lights the way to keep me free

-Big Country

• Patricia wrote me a text message the other day that said; "You have my heart in your hands." I'm like, "Aw don't do that. My hands are dirty. You'll catch something!" She's a strange woman, a bit sheltered indeed. But my Spanish is improving so much! Yet in the back of my mind i can't help thinking that this is going to end up with a rabbit boiling on the stove. At least Frippy is safe and sound in DC.
  
• QUESTION: How do i always find the wackos?
  ANSWER: Everyone is Nuts
  
• More rain, but much warmer today.
• It's the 30 year anniversary of the Spanish Constitution today. Viva la Republica. Franco fue una mierda! (Franco was a shit!)
  

Puente Weekend

Fly by night, away from here
Change my life again
-Rush

• A cold rainy weekend
• I tried unsuccessfully to book my train ticket to Malaga online for three days, but the Renfe website is mierda (shit). So i went to the Atoche train station today to get my ticket. Spain is just so backwards in some ways. I'll be in Malaga from the 24th to the 30th with the Martian and some of his friends. Ludachrismas in the costa del sol!
  
• Tomorrow is a holiday. I'll meet Patricia for lunch and then jam at 8 with band A
  
• Things are delightfully lazy
• My room is toasty warm thanks to the electric heater
• The Seahawks lost but Baltimore is punking the Redskins. Yeah!
  

Reflections in a glass door

Wish i was old and a little sentimental
-Porcupine Trees


Much Trabajo! Yeah! I had 4 hours of classes canceled today, but it's the Puente - 'The Bridge' weekend. We have Lunes off for Constitution Day. So I went to Alex's and Velma's and got paid. Then paid my rent and went to the supermarket, as well as the little farmer's market. I got a ton of veggies for 4 Euro. Asparagus, Onions, and sweet potatoes. I cook more with the wok now, as it is winter.

I'll be in Madrid 2 years January 7th. Damn! Tempus fugit.

So it's nice to actually be home. It's seems like i am either working, out, or sleeping. It's 14 today, so much warmer than the last 2 weeks of Artic Scandanavian Air.

I bought a little electric radiator. It has oil inside and heats up my room nicely. You just plug it in and you're off to the races.

We have natural gas through radiators but the pilot light always blows out during the night and you wake up freezing. So i have circumvented the boiler.

Tonight we jam from 8-10 and then a going away party. The expats come and the expats go, like a revolving glass door.

Hablo espanol

• Classes come and classes go - it all evens out somehow
• I fucking speak Spanish now. Seriously! I have a long way to go, but i can get by with just Spanish, owing a lot to the fact that Patricia only habla espanol!
• That said, still not sure she's my speed. But for now it's not hurting my Spanish, so what the hell? But she lives in the same building (different flat) as her parents and her sisters (que?!!!) and has had a very sheltered life. She's a geek and sometimes geeks think too much. This i know. - I, on the other hand, have lived in different countries, on different continents, and grew up in the shadow of NYC where it's simple Darwinism; if you are not savvy, bad shit will happen to you there. It's a given, like the sun rising in the East.
• I don't know what any of this really means
  

Thanksgivings, Dates and Star Wars

I don't know how it happened
It all took place so quick
But all I can do is hand it to you
And your latest trick
-Dire Straits

• THE 2008 Dumb Ass Award goes to Plaxico Burress for shooting himself in the thigh. Nice one man! And now he has to face criminal charges for shooting himself! This is why people should not have guns. And he's fucking with the Giants' season.
  
• Thanksgiving was awesome. I myself carved the roast beast. Once again the turkey was on the table when i carved with the Spaniards gawking as i cut and snapped. "You look very comfortable with a knife and a turkey," said our one friend Rodrigo.
  
• Patricia and i went to the Star Wars Exhibit yesterday. It was really fun. It was the same one i saw in London last year. I am a Star Wars Exhibit Groupie!!!! She also came along for Thanksgiving and we had a great time.
• Then i watched Atletico go undefeated for the 10th game in a row with a 4-1 one ass kicking of Racing Santander. It was about -7C, or as we like to say here, fucking cold.
• I'd tell you what was going on with Patricia, but i don't rightly know. I'm not being coy, i just don't know. She talks in big huge arcs like a history professor, but is very smart. At least i think so. It can be very hard to understand her at times, fucking Spanish. But everyone says my Spanish is improving. I have to learn to speak well if only to throw it in the face of the common every day person who berates me on my Spanish because it's not perfect, to which i ask "How's your English D-bag?" All that follows is "Que, Que?". Ha ha. Don't mess with El Dude. I don't suffer fools lightly. Excepting myself, and Frippy. I love that guy!
• Now i am watching Revenge of the Sith in Spanish. I will learn this fucking language if it kills me. And if it kills me, i won't go down alone!
  

21 Century Schizoid Man

Panic in Detroit, I asked for an autograph
He wanted to stay home, I wish someone would phone
Panic in Detroit
-David Bowie

I am cooking my famous asparagus in the wok to take to Cara's later. I will meet Patricia at 9 and then we'll go together. And I'm doing laundry, cleaning etc. But today is guiri Thanksgiving! WOO HOO! 2nd Thanksgiving, second different date i'm bringing (I brought rebound girl last year). Well, things could certainly be a whole lot worse. It's a whole world of options out there.

Things are changing. I won't be seeing one person i saw for Thanksgiving last year. Perpetual motion, kinetic energy, time marching on.....

Except, you my dear blogees. My fondness for all of ye is enduring.

And when good cuts of steak are on sale. That never gets old either.

T-Day - Zero

Happy Thanksgiving to all the people who read this, the folks i love; Family, Friends and the CIA.

My late class was canceled. Bo had to work. His mom made turkey and froze the leftovers when she was here last month, so he's going to heat them up. Yeah!

I'll get there round 10:30. And i'll bring my laptop so we can watch the Hawks. Not sure that's a good thing.

Evolution

My mother said to get things done
You better not mess with Major Tom
-David Bowie

Band A is evolving. We now have a Scottsman on Vocals. Bo, from Jersey, plays bass. And Juan, from Madrid, plays bass. We need a name. Personally, i still like MonkeyFucker, but i sense some resistance.

Abandon your norms! Act without thinking!

The jam sounded great, but i am beat (pun intended).

Atletico play PSV tonight in the Champions League, but it is behind closed doors because the Madrid Police beat the snot out of some Marseille fans on Oct 1st. The police here are D-bags, but the fans also had some banned neo-nazi symbols on their banner. I believe the fracas started when they were told to take the banner down. It all went down before the game started, so i was not there. I think they were both wrong but UEFA wanted to send a message because some Bolton fans got beaten up by police last year. I talked to a lot of Bolton (England) fans before the game, and they weren't looking for trouble. The police were looking for a fight because it was an English team, but Bolton is way up in the North and they don't have hooligans. I remember i had trouble getting a ticket because the dope behind the counter thought i was English!

I am American you tool!

On that note; Happy Spanksgiving Everybody! Enjoy!

The way back

The clouds were suddenly parted
For a moment I could see
The patterns of the landscape
Reaching to the eastern sea
-Rush


Lunes

Getting back into the swing of things is a bitch. I taught my first class at 9:00 and i had no idea what the hell i was supposed to be doing. "Okay, i believe this is anatomy 101. The hip bone's connected to the ass bone, the ass bone's connected to the ham bone, the ham bone's connected to the roll the bones, the roll the bones' connected to the smoke a....." And that was when one of the students reminded me that i was there to teach English. "Oh bugger," I cried. And then, "That's a very British curse word. It means sodomy"

The rest of the class was fine.


Martes

Fuck it's cold!!!!!It's 2 C. At 9pm. We normally hit 2 C at like the hour before dawn! The house is an icebox! You could hang beef in the sitting room! I turned on the heat.

Heat
Eat
Jam
Sleep

That's the plan for the rest of the evening and i am in a massive rush as usual. I'm starving! I could eat my own ass!

How did i recreate my prior life? Sure, all this is fun (or makes money), but how did this happen that i am so busy?

Two bands? Am i insane?

Or do i rock the casbah for making time to do productive things that i love?

....

.... I'm waiting.....

...

Oh, so you don't have the answer either.

...

Fuck no! i don't have the answer. I was asking you!

...

Please send all answers and/or best guesses to krcfjg333@gmail.com.

South Side

High vibration go on
to the sun, oh let my heart dreaming
past a mortal as me.
Where can I be
-Yes

• The MLS Cup is today. Does anyone even know what that is?
• Redskins vs. Seahawks today- Love Jim Zorn, HATE the Redskins.
• Atletico lost a win when they were flagged for a penalty shot in the 95th Minute vs. Numancia. It ended 1-1. This is the third time they have had a bogus penalty in the box in extra time. And this game was only supposed to have 4 extra minutes and they scored in the 95th! WTF? As the Spanish like to say, Atleti means you will suffer.
• I am road weary. It'll be nice to be in Madrid for a spell. I didn't have to take Metro today! I just hung in my bario on the south siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide.

00:28 Seahawks are losing. What else is new?

And why does Fox show robots playing guitar during promotionals. What the hell is up with that?

Hasselbeck to Carlson (TE). TouchDown! 17 - 17! O joy, O rapture!

• The Columbus Crew won the MLS Cup, as if anyone cared. It's so sad really. So sad.
• NO more Ludachristmas Commercials on Fox! It's not even Thanksgiving yet!
• man - i find American Football so SLOW after watching the other football for 2 years. It's nothing but commercials on TV.
• 20 - 17 Skins. Bollocks!
• And now the Skins have run 5 minutes off the clock, chewing up yardage on the ground like Mrs. PacMan to the Seattle 30 yard line. Ouch.
• The Seahawks recovered a fumble! Spank my ass and call me Gwen!
  
• And Hasslebeck instantly throws an interception. Hijo de Puta!

It's been a long day.

The Date Tapes

No time to play B-sides
-Blue Oyster Cult

The following is a transcript from the date that took place 22 Nov from 21:00 to 00:15. These notes have been translated form Spanish as best as possible.

Patricia: I told my friends that you are American, a teacher, a writer and a drummer. You are very exotic!

El Dude: Never before have i been called exotic!

- - - - - -

Patrica: I was raised in a very protective environment.
EL Dude: I was raised very liberal. My Mum always told my sister and I that we could be anything we wanted to be. Do anything we wanted to do. She would live to regret this.
Patricia: Your mother raised you liberal, yes?
El Dude: Yes. So if you are looking for someone who likes to take chances and play it risky, i'm your man. But i warn you, i can be addicting.
Patricia: I'll have another glass of wine. Yes thanks.

-----

El Dude:I didn't know that monkeys ate wood! Who knew?
Patricia: I don't think you understood. I asked you how long you've been in Spain
El Dude: Who knew? You're really intelligent.

_ _ _

Patricia: I don't like organized religion because it's all about manipulating people.
El Dude: I find your views interesting and would like to subscribe to your E-letter!

Time

Time is always relative

I spent 5 hours talking with Patricia - all in Spanish. Fuck but that was hard. Seems like a cool chick and a special person. She's hyper-intelligent. We talked a lot of Spanish Civil War history, religion, politics and other things i didn't understand. I mean - wow! Not usual topics on first dates. She 's a hot geek. This is how i like to see myself.

I said goodbye to Patricia at 00:15 and then went over to Bo's. We hung out til 6.It's 6:54. I caught the Metro home. I need to sleep. Sweet luxurious sleep. I think i'll get up at 8:00
(EST).

- - - -

I got up at 9:30 EST- 15:30 my time. Oh yes! A day without work! To do list:

• Go to bar and watch Atleti/Numancia at 17:00 and eat a pizza
• Clean room, do laundry, watch Jets vs. Tenn
• More cleaning, unpack, lesson plans
  
• Watch Seahawks /Redskins
• 1:15 - more sleep!

Flies Die

Forgive me father for I have sinned
It was either me or him
-Roger Waters

Nice week, but a long one. My allergies are killing me. Fucking nature! I like the City where we keep trees and grass to a minimum.

We had no hot water yesterday morn, so i skipped my shower til later. The ladies all showered in the cold. Fuck that. I had enough of that in Jamaica.

The moscas, flies, are horrible here and it's not even summer. I've be trying to kill the little fucker in my room for two days. I injured the bastard with a page of grammar and haven't seen him since i got back from lunch. But no way i head back tomorrow to Madrid and he's still alive. It's me or him.

We only come out at night

We only come out at night,
the days are much too bright
We only come out at night
-Smashing Pumpkins


Walks in the country. A real goddamn steak for lunch! And the obligatory Hugh Grant movie; this time Notting Hill. Quite a lovely love story really.

I've known love like this. More than once. And i know i will again. But sometimes it is all kind of overwhelming.

And here i go again. Or not. We'll see how Sabado goes. I don't even know if we can communicate.

But it doesn't really matter, does it? What matters is that you try, that you're in the race. Because if you're not in the race, then what the hell are you doing?

What if i'm not too old? What if i'm too young? What if there's so much more i need to learn, to know?

That's not nearly as scary as having seen it all. Not at all.

The hopeful depend on a world without end
whatever the hopeless may say
-Rush

00:16 Jueves

This is a one horse town, With less than 1,200 here, it's miniscule. I just came back from a walk and i saw 5 cars the whole time. Ghost town. No one lives here except old folks. There was a funeral yesterday - they came out of the woodwork. They were like silver - grey roaches that could walk upright. Almost. Some were kind of shaped like a C. Folks age hard here.

It's been a lot of fun. A nice break away from the city. Time out of time.

Sweet

Stranger things have happened both before and after noon
Well I'm forming and I'm warming
pushin' myself
And no I don't mind asking now
-Red Hot Chili Peppers

• I'm watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with one of the students. Sweeeeeeeeet.
• It's noon and it's only 3 C. What the hell?
• Is Helena Bonham Carter in every Tim Burton movie? I know she's his main squeeze.

Miercoles 2:05

• Another full day. We took a nice walk in the mountains.
  
• I am going to gain 2 kilos with all this food! We had paella for lunch and fish for dinner.
• It looks like i have una cita, a date with this gal Patricia on Sabado. Exciting!
• Jam with band B on Viernes Noche after i return to Madrid
  
• Teach an old student on Sabado
• All work and no play makes El Dude something something.... (affluent i hope!)
  
• Sleepy time.

Another day in the life

Dear Mister Fantasy play us a tune
Something to make us all happy
Do anything take us out of this gloom
Sing a song, play guitar
Make it snappy
-Traffic

• Mum took Kyle to Fairfield on Sunday and asked me if i needed anything. "Pick me up some Fairfield Condoms please," I said. No one makes condoms like those Jesuits!
• Rebound Girl was attractive and fun, but no one ever said she'd be asked to be on Jeopardy. She emailed me yesterday. 'I've been calling you and texting you this week. Are you okay?" Turns out she had my telephone number from over a year ago. That was 2 numbers ago back when i still used Vodafone. I know use Telefonica, the big Spainish telephone company.
  
• It's very sunny and clear here.

0:18

It's Martes. It was a long day but enjoyable. These are business people so i can teach advanced business concepts, which i truly love. It lets me geek out a bit, and i've seen most of the stuff i teach firsthand.

I forget how small Burgohondo, the town i am actually in, is. There's an old style fountain with a spigot to spill the water. There's a small plaza mayor where the town hall is (every town has one). They actually hold bullfights here during their festival in the summer.

It's been a long time since i've been in the country. Excepting all of my CT summer homes!

Lost Puppy

Annie Greco, on Halloween. One damn cute kid. But i bet her being a puppy scared the crap out of Fripp!

Also, I am very proud to be a registered voter in the state of Connecticut, which allows gay marriage. Way to go you Nutmeggers!

Over/Under: How long before the Mum tries to convince the Seester and Janet to move to CT?

Here Again, part II

I am safely in Avila. As we drove into the parking lot, i said "Home sweet home." Celia and Lyndsay laughed.

It's been a while, but i've done so many intensives here.

I am tired. It's not too cold. It's halftime and the Seahawks are losing 16 - 7. Same as it ever was....

Dinner was a delicious lobster soup. My brain cannot function any longer. Goodnight.

The Road to Avila

I do remember one thing.
It took hours and hours but..
By the time I was done with it,
I was so involved, I didnt know what to think.
-King Crimson

Sabado

I am listening to a demo of Something happened, our first original with Band A. Bo and Juan wrote the music and i wrote the lyrics. The demo is just Juan and is rough, but it has potential.

The guitarist in Band B is a badass. We played Deep Purple's Smoke on the Water and Child in time, which is a fave of mine. Also Hey Joe, Purple Haze, and some other staples. One of the highlights was when i played the cool Ian Pace high-hat beginning to Smoke on the Water, because i nailed it. Also sunshine of your love which I knew because I used to play it with Homer and the Doughnuts. So this group has potential as well.

Domingo

I am getting ready to go to Avila. I shall blog you from there. Have a good Sunday!

Missing in Action

In the next world war
In a jackknifed juggernaut
I am born again

In the neon sign
Scrolling up and down
I am born again
-Radiohead


Holy shit! I haven't blogged since Lunes? More like, missing because of lots of action.

This whole work thing is really starting to interfere with my private life. I have been living Foreman Grill style, burning both sides at once.

I am now playing with two bands, so that is fun. But it keeps me busy. Work, jam, sleep.

I met a very cool woman online, Patricia. Seems very liberal and seems to know what she likes. She's been sick, but thought she'd be better by tomorrow, but I go to Avila for the intensive, which preparing for has also eaten into my shallow pool of free time.

As we speak, i hope my clean boxers dry into to pack them tomorrow. Either that or i pack them wet or go commando! But it's cold in the mountains!!!!!

But we only email in Spanish, which is greatly aided by Google Translator. I'm curious to see if we can communicate in Spanish in person.

"There are other ways to communicate," said my good friend Cara, with a smile. Good grief!

In the interim, I need to work as much as i can and save cash - because classes will come to a screeching halt again at Christmas.

Why do women wear hot pink tights to work here? There's no exceptable answer.

I saw a guy walking down the street wearing a jacket that had the Confederate flag on it. And he had cowboy boots on too! WTF???

And i got food poisoned, by a salad no less!!! It must have been bad blue cheese. I ate it before class and an hour later it was like the Hoover Damn had broken. I excused myself and ran out of class. It was a photo finish but ii made it. I will never eat healthy again!!!!

More tales of Leprechaun's, Guinness, Gambling and Chinese food

The impulse is pure--
Sometimes our circuits get shorted,
By external interference

Signals get crossed--
And the balance distorted
By internal incoherence
-Rush

Just in case you were wondering, 30 Rock is still the best show on TV.

Kilkullen is a small little town, in county Kildare. I didn't really see Dublin, so i'll have to go next trip.

On Sunday, we had to travel outside of town to find an open eatery. On the way, we drove through the countryside. We had to slow down at one point for a sheep to cross the road. Animals in the road are hysterical! I'm from freaking North Jersey!

The only animals in the road are dead.

Some of the sheep were sprayed painted blue, so that the owner could know they were his.

Blue sheep. I'm frigging serious. And so freaking green, the countryside. The place is absolutely teaming with water. Canals, rivers, big fucking puddles. And it's pissing rain all the time, as they like to say.

We watched football the whole time, mostly English Premiership. They really love rugby too.

Lotsa classes today. Time to hibernate.

The Kilkullen 5

Home
Going home
-Yes


Ireland was great. Just tremendous. I met up with the Martian and some of his mates. I had met Morris, Patty, and Alistair on one of the Martian's trips to Madrid.

It was raw cold and rainy - such is Ireland. We hung out in the pubs, watched football and rugby and played pool. The only numbered ball is the 8, the others and yellow and red, and they all are smaller than our typical pool balls. And the tables are tiny. But I held my own.

The Guinness is delicious. Tasty and fresh. But you don't want to be a toilet bowl the day after someone has been drinking it.

On Saturday we went out for a breakfast that included eggs, beans, bacon that was a a big slab of pig, pudding, beans, toast and chips! It was about as much heart clogging goodness as i normally eat in a month.

Chinese for dinner. Ummmmm.....crispy aromatic duck.

You can bet on sports legally there. You just walk into the bookie. I bet 5E on three matches to draw. But it doesn't pay 29 to 1 because it's easy. I lost all three games.

Okay - more tales to follow soon. I feel my gravity eyelids coming down.

Lastly, every time i don't blog for more than 2 days my Mum thinks i've been abducted by ETA terrorsits!

Sounds of the Day

Sounds of the day
I've got my own way
-The Adults

• At least McCain was gracious. Where the hell was that guy during this election? He looks like a man who knows he has sold his soul.

• When i finally got out of bed, my inbox was flooded with emails from former students congratulating me on the election. Most of them were very excited. It's a time of hope. A time for change. Most Spanish people like Americans. They know that the last 8 years have not been something that most of Americans they meet wanted.

• It's kind of amazing. I am half a world away, yet still voting and watching this historic moment live. The party last night had the atmosphere of a football game with the stakes being much higher. CNN Predicted Obama the winner just past 5AM and we left.

• That said, Atleti was ROBBED of a win last night night when Liverpool was awarded a penalty at Anfield on a bogus foul in the 94^th minute. What????!!!!!!!! That arbitro (referee) is a monkey fucker!

• I can't leave my laptop. I am hypnotized! So much news coming through electronic impulses. I started chatting with another woman named Yoly (short of Yolanda, i would think). Anyway, she only speaks Spanish. But I am holding my own. Writing is much easier for me. And Google Translator is amazing! I try to put it together and then check it, make revisions and send.

• And then there's Eva, Warrior Princess. Hubba hubba! I'm down with that role playing stuff. What's better than mixing Dungeons and Dragons with sex?

• I'm learning crucial phrases in Spanish like,

  • Me gusta el rock progresivo. (i like progressive rock)

  • Yo leo ciencia ficción (i read science fiction)

  • Me gusta sentarse y comer un pollo asado. (I enjoy sitting down and eating a whole roasted chicken)

I figure they might as well know what they are getting into. If they can't deal with it, it will never work anyway.

A return to sanity

i don't remember
i don't recall
i've got no memory of anything at all
-Peter Gabriel

Bo, Cynthia, Chris, Amber, Cara, Aitor and i all went to the Democrats Abroad Election Party at this swanky cafe in Banco Espana. It started at 23:00. We got there at 23:30 at there were two lines around the corner! But get this; the line that was moving was for people who were paying for 20E at the door.

Cara and I got tickets last week for all of us for 10E. We had to wait in line two hours! We asked them what was wrong and they said they were full and had to open new rooms.

"But you pre-sold the tickets! You knew exactly how many people were coming!"

And this, my friends, is why the Dems have not won an election before this in 8 years. And Obama did by circumventing his own party. Hillary was the party's heir apparent. But his campaign's brilliant marketing caught Hillary's campaign, arrogant and convinced this was a lay up, completely flat-footed.

And then he ran over Angry McCain.

Now, I have a bone to pick with all of you. I called the Statehouse in CT to find out that I only received 1 vote for president which had to be my own!

None of you wrote me in! I can't believe it and i don't understand and i can't believe.

I have everything the other candidates have;

• Like Obama, i believe that that America needs to restore our credibility to the rest of the world. I also love to punk Republicans and their rhetoric of fear.
  
• Like McCain, I have anger issues
• Like Palin, I have the hots for Tina Fey
• Like Biden, I hate Delaware
  

So why not me?

El Dude in 2012!!!!!!!


The party, when we finally got in, was fun. We all drank scotch and soda. Oy! But it was fun. I got in at six am and slept all day. I canceled class. They expect you to do that at least once a semester here. This is Spain!

I knew so many people last night! Everywhere i turned, Spanish folks too. Every American i know here is a Democrat. Except for that guy who got thrown out of the party on Friday.

The Devil made me do it

(a photo i tampered with to make lighter of Jesus and Satan)

We were making bets all night.

SATAN: I'll bet you a typhoon in Micronesia that you can't that you can't get the chairman of Barclays to donate 100 Euros to the poor.

JESUS: Alright, but when i do, you need to curb AIDS in Africa by 5%

SATAN: 3% and you've got a deal!

JESUS: 4%

SATAN: Done!

JESUS: You're going down bitch!

SATAN: Long live W Bush!!!!!

- - -

Vote like your life depended on it. It actually might.

I hope that tomorrow the country of my birth will have a new lease on life. And i hope that if Obama wins he lives up to his promises, or at least tries to.

Voting, Dating, Screen names and baseball bats

Gravity eyelids
Gravity eyelids come down
-Porcupine Tree

So tired! Busy day of classes. But nice to have a full schedule finally!

Enjoy voting tomorrow. Bask in the pride and privilege of being a democracy. Unless of course the election is fixed. Again. We know it's happened at least twice (Kennedy in '60, Bush '00).

My date was fine. Her name is Eva. Her screen name is Luna. I stand corrected.

She seems nice. Definitely cute. She's from the Basque country but she grew up in Malaga and Chicago.

She had this crazy dress on that had this leather lace up thing over the torso. I mean, we're talking like Xena, Warrior Princess stuff. It was pretty hot.

So we had coffee for two hours and yapped. It was fun.

She's a true Gemini. Eyes darting, multi-tasking, surveying everything. And you can tell she's thinking of something else while she talking about another.

As a Gemini I have a split personality, undoubtedly. But she seems to be both of them at the exact same time!

But i liked her. So, we shall see. Nothing to lose.

EL DUDE: I have a date at 17:00, for coffee
THE SEESTER: Bring a baseball bat
EL DUDE: lol. Why?
THE SEESTER: Because all the women you date are freaks

Is this my fault? Perhaps it is.

But a baseball bat? They're women, not cougars!

what would Jesus do?

Jeus with Pepper Jack the Pimp and a Pirate.

Jesus and the Devil. The Devil's name is Sarah. Who knew? Seems the Bible lacks a lot details, if you're trying to take it as some kind of historical document.

Hallowed Weenies

Well, Sydney had a party for Halloween and it was a blowout! It was just crazy, even by Madrid standards. You've never seen more marijuana in your life. Her roomate Ilde grows it, so the whole place was a blue cloud. People were falling down drunk. One gal, who was cute and dressed like a cat was walking around saying "Why is no one hitting on me?" There were lots of hot woman, not all as obvious as the Pussy. But by far the craziest was when Ilde threw a guy out of the party because he was voting for McCain on Tuesday. While extreme, in most cases this would have been funny, except that it was Sydney's boyfriend, Aiden. OY! And things just degraded from there, but everyone had a good time. I got home at 6:30. I tried to get a cab at 5:00, but none where available. So i waited for the Metro to open with 50 other people. I went as Jesus, which was popular and slam dunk easy, given my current hair style and beard. My friend Sarah was dressed as a devil, so it made for a good picture, the two of us laughing together (like i always knew they did). Pics forthcoming.

Whenever someone asked me to turn water in to wine or something, i'd say "You have to ask my Dad."

One girl jokingly said, "You going to go to hell." To which i replied, "I don't belive in hell." Ha! Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Then i went to the game last night, where Atleti posted an impressive 2-0 win over a very good Mallorca team. Bo's parents were in town and they went to the game too. I met them all afterwards for drinks. They were very cool. Who knew a Jersey accent could sound so beautiful after all these years? And now today at 17:00 i have a date with this gal i met online, Luna. We're meeting for coffee, so we'll see what happens.

I also have to try and meet these two guys who have a band and are looking for a drummer. I saw an advert when i was looking for classes and answered it. They just got back to me. So there is a lot going on. Hooray.

Point me at the sky and let it fly
-Pink Floyd

Canned

Okay....

I may need to step away form the Internet dating scene for a moment before i hurt myself. When you flirt, you can write a quick message or use a canned one. The following is my favorite canned one, although i am too chickenshit to use it;

I may not go down in history but i'd go down on you.

Fuck me! Ladies, can you imagine getting that from a stranger? Or sending it?!!! I thought i was a fearless idiot, but i guess i have met my match.

Fearlessly the idiot face the crowd.....smiling
-Pink Floyd

It's a cold scary world out there. And i'm cold and scared.

Really cold! It's only 6C at 13:00! Rainy too. My boss, Lyndsay Buckingham, and i had to wait in the rain to catch overly crowded buses because the Metro Ligero is on strike. We were 20 minutes late, but one student was 30 late and the other was 45 minutes late. Same thing coming home. I was chilled to the bone.

Then i slept because i am still recovering and my class was canceled. Then i ate half a chicken. Now it's almost midnight and i'm going back to bed!

Nighty-night rabbit.

A week to go

We can go from boom to bust
From dreams to a bowl of dust
We can fall from rockets' red glare
Down to "Brother can you spare..."
Another war
Another wasteland
And another.... lost generation
-Rush

• Yeah! Teaching more hours now! With more coming in. Gimme hours, gimme hours. I always forget that summer lasts until Octubre 15th here. Seriously, that's when university classes start.
• i have one private student (Beatriz, 22 ) who only wants to go over economics. So we read articles form the Economist and stuff. It's really fun. I'm such a business geek!
• Winter hit us like a sack of doorknobs. It went from 22 to 5C in a day! Joder!
• It's 4C now, at 22:30.
• I finished with my student at Barclays, but it was a nice good-bye and he said he really felt his English had improved and that he had fun, which is all i ever really look to do. He had a great attitude and was hell of a lot of fun himself. I'm sure we'll keep in touch. He's the one in the Picasso Tower
• Game 5 of the WS is STILL GOING ON. It hasn't even resumed yet! Madness. The Phillies don't get anything easy. Actually, all of the teams in that city have done squat since the Phils last won in 1980!
• One week to go before the election. 'C'mon Obama and roll Daddy a sweet seven. Mama gonna buy me a new pair of shoes!' And maybe keep his house and job.Then we can stop pretending Sarah Palin is an important person. I've met beer bottles that were more savvy than she is

Album i listened to again after quite a while and it blew me away: The self-titled album - Traffic. Wow! Short and sweet structures with odd beats and and a whole lot of soul.

Dirty Deeds

* Game 5 of the WS will never end. We have all died and gone to baseball Purgatory. A meteor hit the earth Monday night in the middle of the 6th inning.


*Prickpretsheri - the Internet dating imposter IM'ed before - the conversation went like this;

Prickpretsheri said 'Hi'

i said:

I thought you had gone for good
didn't we have this conversation?
After you asked me for money
You're a man baby!
You're a scam artist
you've never been to Madrid
your English sucks!
You live in Nigeria
that's not your picture
i'm not angry
i'm writing a book on Internet dating scams
What's the most money you've ever gotten out of someone?
Your phone is tapped
c'mon, talk to me
or i'll go to the police
and the last guy that got sent to a Nigerian prison. Well....you know what happens.

I never heard back from Pickpretsheri. Disappointing.

The moral of this story?

No moral- just a fun story.

But if you really want a moral, iguess it's that you shouldn't jump into the deep end if you can't swim.

More stories about weather and sports

While you torture yourself with what's behind ya
Torture yourself with what awaits ya
Draggin' that guilt and regret inside ya
Anxious of the goals that always evade ya

Your mind will find a way to be unkind to you somehow
But all we really have is happening to us right now

HAPPINESS IS THE ROAD

And each baby..
A human sunrise
Each baby - a human sunrise..
-Marillion

• I woke this morning to find the World Series was suspended. Didn't they have doppler radar? Isn't that a brand new field that should have good drainage? Budd Slug is a moron. But i am happy the Rays tied it up and that Eva Longoria (schwing!) finally got a hit!
• I feel like hell. It's Captain Tripps, like in the Stand. I love that book.
• It's a blustery day here, a rarity
• The Seahawks are second in the NFC West with a 2-5 record! Great idea to break each conference into 4 divisions!

Why is everyone so fucking stupid? Why can't they be more intelligent, like me?
-Kim Jong-il , Team America