Painted in a corner

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
-Attributed to Art's father, Loyola Dorm bathroom wall, 1987

well- i kept my promise to myself to have the place sparkling when Chema gets home in an attempt to keep it in some semblance of repair. This place is a bloody hole! There are holes in the wall - I found some kind of nest! Floorboards that are missing covered up by larger flat boards. It's like frigging Fairfield.

But at least i kept my promise to myself. If you can't keep a promise to yourself, how can you keep one to anyone else? File this under another one of El Dude's The Meaning of Life Series.

The bad thing is i have mopped myself into a corner. So i'm not going anywhere for the next 20 minutes.

I have a whole slew of people coming over for Seahawks -Giants at 19:00.

Lastly, as many of you know, i have always wanted to start my own religion. However, all attempts to found this religion around myself have failed miserably. I'm just not messiah material (sorry mum!). Plus, most religions get big once the founder is dead, so fuck that.

Therefore, even though he is still alive, I am proud to launch the Church of Orenthal, after OJ Simpson.

His tale is the perfect story of a young kid using his talents to become the best he can possibly be. To not just be outstanding on the field but to be the first African-American to appeal to that all important demographic: white businessmen 25-45. And so a young OJ taught us how to run through airports and rent from Hertz in the 1970's.

Where this cautionary tale goes wrong is that he forgot where he was from. He became so distanced from reality that he thought he was above the law, as so many athletes who are given everything sometimes do.

Now here's the kicker - the cornerstone of the church of Orenthal:

If you get away with murder, don't push your luck.

And because the Juice did not follow this simple advice he will spend the rest of his life in prison. An ass raping prison.

It's not eternal damnation, but it's not a day on the golf course either.

I think this new religion has everything. So please join me, and the many millions who will follow, in the Church of Orenthal.

Strange as I seem
I'm getting stranger by the minute
-Porcupine Tree